100-0

I just returned home from a trip to Minnesota. I had an amazing trip and despite only being there for 5 days, I was able to see lots of friends and family. The main purpose of the trip was to attend my friend Kevin’s wedding. Kevin is like a brother to me and I am super blessed to have such a great friend and I am especially thankful for the time that I got to spend with him during the weekend of his wedding.

During the reception, Kevin’s father, Rocky, spoke to the new bride and groom. Rocky has had a tough year. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma almost a year ago. Through the grace of God and modern medicine he is doing very well and his prognosis is very good. Kevin and I spoke several times about his father while he was receiving treatment. It was another life experience that we went through together as my Dad also had a health scare this year. He ended up having heart surgery to repair a damaged valve. We are both very thankful of the time that we have with our fathers. Perhaps more so now than ever.

Anyway, during Rocky’s speech he referred to the common notion that a marriage is a 50-50 relationship. He said that he disagreed with this and that it should be more like 100-0. He explained that to have a truly happy marriage you give 100 percent to make your spouse happy and look for nothing in return. And further, if both people in the marriage do this then what a wonderful marriage they will experience.

This thought really made an impression with me. I thought a lot about it the day after the wedding. This of course was after several hours and cups of coffee in an attempt to clean all the booze out of my system. I also think I was still hungover from drinking Johnny Jump Ups with Ryan and Jason and observing the sun come up a few nights earlier.

The more I thought about this idea of 100-0 the more I began to realize that many of my friends and family seem to live this way. During my 5 day trip I had been the benefactor of the generosity of many of these people. My dad, who gave up 2 days of his still fresh retirement to pick me up in Fargo, take me to the Angle where he helped me clean out our camper in preparation for selling it, and finally driving me back to Fargo to catch a ride to the cities with another friend. He never asked for anything in return and even told me how much fun it was. My Grandma, who is the master of “Just putting a little something together” worked her magic again and invited some relatives over to her house so that I could see them. She did this even though she was hosting a major family get-together a few days later. Ryan and Jason, who picked me up and showed me we still aren’t grown up, paid for every drink (I can’t remember if I offered to pay, but my bank account shows that I didn’t) and gave me awesome Hoops for Hope T-shirts for my entire family. We always have a great time and no matter how much work they have to do the next day, always make time to hang out with me. Next there are all of my friends from Northland. I haven’t seen many of them for several years. It was like we never missed a day. They were all generous to give me a lift while I was in the cities so that I didn’t miss any of the events. I was also very happy to get to spend time with their spouses and get to know them better. I found out very quickly why they were “chosen.” I can see how they fit right in with the weird sense of humor and true generosity that all of my friends seem to share. Then there is Kevin. I am so thankful for our friendship and for the time that he spent with me during the weekend of his wedding. His new wife was also kind enough to let us spend some quality time before she stole him away into wedded bliss. Finally, my brother-in-law picked me up Sunday afternoon, after which we spent time at his house, “Murder Bay,” hanging out with his friends before he brought me to the airport.

As I reflected on my trip and thought about Rocky’s statement, I began to realize how much truth there was in his statement. All of the people that I had spent the last several days with all gave much more than I deserve, so that I could have a good trip. And beyond that, because of their generosity and giving nature I had a great trip. In fact, one of the best that I can remember.

So as a challenge to myself, I have been really trying to focus on this simple little idea, 100-0. Give 100 percent to make someone’s life easier and expect nothing in return. And with the spirit of BD&LL I challenge all of our readers (I think we are up to 8 regular readers now) to do the same. Imagine how awesome our world would be if we all lived this way. But more importantly, imagine how you can change, if even just one small moment, the lives of people around you. If we could all do our best to help or extend a small gesture of kindness to those around us we are changing the world for the better. Even if it is just for that person.

Cheers!

Mr. Dolores