This shit still work? Has anyone paid the fucking light bill? The custodian? Yelled at the neighbor kids about smoking blunts because it upsets the dogs? This place smells like an abandoned locker room and poorly aged bullshit. What happened to our grandiose blog about life lessons and irresponsible day drinking? Does Mason still work here? Did we hire a caretaker to water the succulents while we decided to fuck off to nowhere to be lazy because writing is too damn hard? I could of sworn we had a cat. Clearly we’ve had squatters, but I don’t think they published anything unfortunately. At least there would have been some outward appearance of activity here. So it goes, Mr. Vonnegut often reminds us. So it fucking goes, as I think of it. Just seems better when you have to use so many cuss words.
We really only had 3 stools and a couch that was never good for anyone’s health to sit on. Squatters took the couch, thank the almighty, but I’ll do my best to dust off the stools and set them aright. I’ll clear out the beer cans and the cigarette butts and the moldy trash can liners and blow the dust off the few books we could afford to line the shelves with. But I’m far from meticulous and I’m working in a chaotic space so don’t expect the following to adhere to thematic presentation with thesis arguments and page numbers and figures and bibliographies. I’m just passing through because I had to use the john and it seems the place could use a little dust up and in doing so, I’ll write some stuff on the walls while I meander around. I doubt the central air works but I’ll open the windows and let the spiders in. Besides, the squatters didn’t find this old whiskey bottle and “if you plan to cheat the devil, you owe him an offering.”
A lot of times we talked about current events so just to sort of “go through the motions” of what it is we used to do, here’s some of my thoughts on the condition of our current condition:
-Racism, still alive and well, has started having more spawn points, and the fiends are getting stronger and braver. Of course this is difficult for many of us to see and hear about, especially the collateral damage of racist beliefs and actions. On the other hand, we gain real insight when we stop pretending and admit there’s a problem. Once we can go there, then we can dress the wound and find some remedy and begin to heal. We need to talk to each other, see each other, and listen actively. I don’t know if that’ll be enough, but it’ll be a helluva improvement from our current trajectory.
-We seem really angry about shit lately. Instant gratification, instant information, instant indulgence is eroding our ability to digest, process, dream, heal, and meditate. Our anger is as instant as our love, as our hate, as our apathy, as our attention span. We give in to divisive persuasion too easily as our news has become entertainment while our consumption drive becomes unattainable. We can’t keep up with the Jones’, we can’t even keep current on our mortgage. And while we’re all fired up about what fucking bathroom someone should use, the world burns around us.
-If you let fountain Coke get warm and sit around awhile, it sort of tastes like mold. 1/10, would not recommend.
-Racism and anger and fear, these are all demons and while we must fight off our demons, we can still learn things from them, question them, and “don’t give in to their logic” as my good friend Dr. A.M. Lazer once told me. Face them down and many times I find them to be much smaller than first perceived, much less powerful, and even their once mighty bark cannot mask their feeble frame.
-There’s too much suicide. Good, solid people who contributed much to the fabric of our culture are leaving us and it seems endemic. If you love someone, don’t believe their bullshit, but also show them your love, your admiration, your pride in them. We’re too hard on ourselves and don’t show enough appreciation for those around us.
-We’re all too offended by shit these days. Especially those of us who are offended about those being offended by something. It’s okay to not have a position on something; to question it, to think about it, mull it over, and to constantly reevaluate. Just because some news anchor or dude on a podcast or the talk radio figures have an absolute position on something doesn’t mean you have to as well. It’s important to have a moral compass but it’s also important that the compass is calibrated from time to time.
-The lesson I’m learning most lately is this: being open and honest with others is terrifying and you are definitely opening yourself up to embarassment and pain and possible betrayal but there is also the chance that you’ll connect on a more meaningful level, and experience incredible connectivity to those around you. We hide from each other too much. I think it would be better if we drop pretentious facades more quickly, more often, more easily. It’s a good practice in humanism. This doesn’t mean you can trust everyone equally or in equal measure. That’s your call.
The whisky is running out and the lights are definitely not working. If I find myself in the neighborhood again, I’ll bring some of those new car scent air fresheners shaped like a poorly drawn pine tree and I’ll probably being packing. This neighborhood is sketchy as fuck when the sun goes down.
From the abandoned offices of BD&LL