Things I Have Learned

     1. Video games are awesome, but video game systems can drive you nuts

a.       NES – if you don’t know what that is you are too young, but wasn’t it annoying to insert a game, take out the game, blow into the system then blow into the game, then try to play again.

b.      N64 – now we're talking Mario in 3D whoop whoop, but what do they do, take away internal memory so you can never turn off the system unless you beg for a memory card

c.       Sega Genesis – no one knows if this had problems cause no one bought one

d.      PlayStation – finally no cartridges but now discs. Yep discs are the future, that tend to get scratched easily and when you finally reach the last level the disc stops working

e.      PlayStation 3 – everything you want in a system; gaming, internet, blue ray, 3D, motion activated, the future.. Never get to play though because it is always updating.

f.        PlayStation 4 – the new new future, but no games for it yet.

      

2. TV Guide on your TV is awesome but lies

a.       This is sweet cause you can channel surf without changing the channel (genius), maybe find a movie or a sporting event you wanna watch. But what TV guide doesn’t tell you is, whatever channel you decide to go to, you are going to have to watch commercials first. Try it I dare you, 7 out of 6 times you’re watching a commercial first (its science)

      

3. Duke is still better than UNC

 

                        a.    Can’t argue with that

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4. You eat more pizza when it is in squares

a.       You don’t believe me, go to Duane’s house of pizza in Fargo/Moorhead and order a pizza, keep track of how many pieces you eat.  You will than realize you ate 3 whole pizzas

  

5. Comedy, Laughter, Humor

a.       These are the best things in life

b.      2 men walked into a bar, 3^rd one ducked…. You're welcome

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6. You don’t know disappointment

a.       Unless you’re a Vikings fan

b.      Unless you stayed up super late cause you figured school would be canceled and it wasn’t

c.       Unless you are craving a mountain dew and you open the fridge and your roommate drank the last one

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7. Men are insane, woman are insaner

a.       Men will do something extremely stupid once, and probably end up doing it again. (drinking themselves into a coma)

b.      Women will try doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. (“will you pick your underwear up off the floor”) 

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8. Toys have too many batteries

a.       Every toy a child has today has a battery

b.      I had a ball, a matchbox car, and a spoon (so I could dig holes in the sandbox) – my childhood was awesome

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9. Everybody wins these days

a.       Who the heck thought of this, you enter a competition and you get a trophy if your 1^st or 101^st.

b.      When I lost, I went home pissed and figured I better work harder, try harder, and I will win next time.

c.       Now a days you can just show up and collect a trophy

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10. "Selfie"

a.       Who, What, Where, When, And WHY…

b.      Someone write me a term paper on how the selfie started

c.       This has to be the beginning of the end, why are we snapping a picture of ourselves to post on social media.. Oh look I'm at Mount Rushmore…mmmmh really looks like you and some rocks in the background I can’t see anything else.

d.      Hold on I have to take a selfie #hashtag#