Mother's Day

By now your flowers have begun to wilt.

Breakfast duties have returned to you.

Mother’s Day won’t be here for a whole year…

It seems like a strange thing to post this blog about Mother’s Day a few days after the event has passed. How I understand it, we’re supposed to give mothers just the one day, right? Doesn’t it seem a bit like a crock considering just how much our mothers do for us? And you know what the craziest thing is? Most mothers would claim that every day is Mother’s Day! It’s almost like they enjoy the duties put upon them by their demanding kids and other family?! What’s wrong with these people?!

Here’s a brief history of Mother’s Day taken from the most credible source on the web, Wikipedia…

The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.” Jarvis became critical, however, of the commercialization of the day.

 

Mother’s Day was always a very special day for our family because our mother was the best mother in the world…aren’t they all? I may be biased, and she was the only mom I ever knew so I guess whatever…she was the best damn it! Most of the readers of this blog know me by now as the writer who’s too long winded and often goes from some sort of philosophical posts to random nights of debauchery. A lot of you also know that I lost my mom quite a few years ago now to ovarian cancer.

My mom and I were very good friends, she encouraged me to live a full life, and gave me the freedom to choose whatever I wanted to do…which may have backfired as I had several different majors in college including; Film, English (Writing), Secondary Education (English Emphasis), Mass Communications, and finally got my degree in Business Management. I know what you’re thinking, one of these things is not like the others. You’re right. I kind of copped out after my mom passed away. My brother, sister and I had taken over the operation of our family business and I not only wanted to finish my degree, but I also wanted to be able to run our business the best I could. It was the first logical decision I made, ever.

But despite all of the random majors I had in school my mom always encouraged me along the way. Was she concerned that I was having too good of a time at college and not necessarily attending to my studies as much as I should? Without a doubt. But for some odd reason she seemed to always believe in me, that I would get it all worked out in the end, and part of me feels like she liked the free spirit that she had raised.

I was not an easy child to raise though. I was certainly taking full advantage of being the youngest child. The road had been plowed for me and I could see all the angles and just how far I could take things…then I would go just a little further.

I remember coming across my mom one morning while she was out for her morning walk…we were out still from the night before and she just asked if we were out already, or just heading in (making sure we knew that those were our only two options). “Just heading in,” I replied and away we went to my buddy Brad’s house to finally get some sleep.

When I first went to school at MSU-Moorhead I had been to Fargo exactly one other time. I didn’t really know much about the town because my family never really went there at all. My mom’s job brought her all over the place but very rarely did she go to Fargo, but then I started going to school there. Soon after she had picked up some clients there which meant that she would have to come to meet with them, which meant that she would come to see me and take me out to lunch and perhaps catch a movie.

When my mom was battling cancer and still working, she would get up at 4am if I or any of my siblings happened to be home just so she could get all of her work done before we woke up. That way she could spend the day with us doing whatever we wanted to do.

When we were really little kids and our parents were really struggling financially my mom was so disappointed because she loved Christmas so much and always wanted it to be so special for all of us kids, but there was a year where it looked like we weren’t going to have anything under the tree. One of my mom’s greatest friends then proceeded to go out and buy a bunch of presents for all of us, simply because of how much it meant to my mom to see us happy. She was the kind of person who wanted only to make others happy, often neglecting her needs to achieve happiness for others and consequently she attracted only the greatest people that became her friends.

These are just a few of the stories about all of the things that my mom did for me and my family in her short time here. I was only able to celebrate 23 Mother’s Days with her, and that simply wasn’t enough. I miss her every day, not just one day a year.

But I’m not alone, and that should tell you about how important moms (and dads) truly are, and how one day a piece a year simply isn’t enough to celebrate all of the amazing things they do for us. Being a parent is the definition of unconditional love, and for those that it isn’t I feel sorry. Kids grow and are molded by the love of their parents and family. One of the greatest things I’ve heard about parents, and it rings true with all of the best parents, is that they give their children two gifts; the first is roots, and the second is wings. They encourage you to become whatever you want, but they’re always there for you no matter what you choose, whether you achieve your dreams or fail miserably. Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart. Kids will drive you to drink (sorry mom and dad!) but they’ll also give you plenty to be proud of if you just believe in them and never stop loving them.

I know a lot of people who have lost a parent too young, be it mother’s or father’s, and one thing I think we all share is not only the fact that we all think about them daily, but also we all hope that we’re making them proud.

I know a lot of people probably wonder about whether or not people who have lost a father or mother still celebrate Mother’s or Father’s Day in memory of the one they lost. I’m sure that a lot of people do, but in my experience they kind of become like the other important days in that person’s life; their birthday, anniversaries, and even the day they died…everyone in the family is aware of the day but no one really tries to acknowledge it. It’s a very sad thing but not having that wonderful person around to celebrate with tends to just bring you down a little more, and that’s too bad. As you can see through the stories I’ve shared in this blog, my mom was an awesome mom. More than anything, that’s why I wanted to write this blog.

It’s been far too long since we’ve celebrated how fantastic of a mom we had on Mother’s Day. We host a basketball tournament to raise money for cancer research every year in her name, and it is a great celebration but there’s not really a good reason why we don’t celebrate her on Mother’s Day as a family.

I sent out a message to a few of my friends who recently became mom’s for the first (and one who became a mom for the third) time, wishing them a Happy Mother’s Day and one of them replied that she hoped that we had a great day celebrating how awesome of a woman my mom was, and that’s when it really hit me as far as how we have to stop hiding from these occasions.

How, even though she isn’t with us anymore, she still was the best possible mom for this group of misfits I call my brother and sisters, and that deserves to be celebrated.

Instead of me writing a blog about some of the reasons she was so amazing, next year I’m hoping that we can get together as a family and talk about why each and every one of us was her favorite (it was me…).

On a final note here I wanted to tell my friends who have lost a parent to always remember the good times, and I hope there were plenty. We’re shaped so much by all of the things that our parents do for us, and we all should really celebrate those amazing individuals who so selflessly love us, no matter our missteps.

One of the individuals I have been working on to write with us for this blog, (a friend who I have actually written about on here before, and besides my mom, was certainly one of the big influencers that turned me to writing) unfortunately knows the struggle of losing a parent first hand. In his case he lost both far too early, but as they look at the son they left behind, there’s no doubt they are proud of the man he has become. Follow Kurt’s blog at TeacherScribe, and keep up with all of the amazing things he’s passing onto the youth to make sure our future is bright! You think I brag about the awesome kids I know a lot, wait until you read what the kids in Room 205 are up to!

So in the spirit of Mother’s Day I would love to leave you with a poem written by Kurt Reynolds for his mom, I told Kurt I could just copy and paste it…I’m not that technologically capable apparently though, so click the link below to read!

Fingerprints by Kurt Reynolds

Everyday should be Mother’s Day!