V-Day Blog...ugh.

As yesterday was Valentine’s Day I think I better speak of the day rather than just ignore it like a good single person, like it never even happened.

We’ve written about Love for this blog before, both the player and the emotion. Both were tough topics to tackle but I think we got some good points across and maybe even shared how we’ve learned some of our most valuable life lessons, as love usually teaches us some of the finest. But, for the first time since starting this blog, I did not have someone to spend my Valentine’s Day with, and as we all know that can be super depressing…

Just kidding! I use to get all bent out of shape about being alone on Valentine’s Day. You see all these happy couples all around you and you think, when am I going to find somebody? But in 30 years I’ve learned a few things. The most important of which is that it’s pretty easy to be romantic and forget all of the bad things that happen in every relationship for one day. You buy some flowers, maybe make a reservation at a nice restaurant or cook something special at home, sprinkle a few rose pedals on the bed and boom, you’re a romantic. But what did you do the day before, or the year before? Love isn’t about one day, and if you truly love someone you shouldn’t need to go above and beyond on Valentine’s Day.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s nice to have another excuse to show someone that you love them and that they mean the world to you, or to even just thank them for being there for you, but I think it’s what you do the other 364 days of the year that really matters.

True love isn’t really about the easy days or the holidays where you’re expected to do something nice for the people you love. It’s about the days when you fight about whatever but realize at the end of the day that it’s more important to you that you resolve the issue and actually talk about it than let it linger and grow into a bigger problem.

I may not have had great relationships in the past but I’ve seen enough of the really good ones and bad ones to know what makes the difference. Couples fight. It’s inevitable. But how you handle the fight is what makes love. The Lumineers really nailed it when they sang, "The opposite of love is indifference." We’re living in a world where the divorce rate is higher than it’s ever been, partly because forensic evidence has made serious breakthroughs so that you can’t just murder the one that you loved anymore, but partly because people don’t focus on the important things in relationships, like loving yourself first.

It may seem a little selfish and relationships are supposed to be a compromise but how can you ever truly compromise if you don’t know who you are and what you want? To throw who you are away to be what someone else wants is not a compromise, and when you just do the things that will make the other person happy and forget about yourself, the other person may lose the love that they once had for you, or they may be a dick and like having a drone to play with.

Each person must be represented in the relationship, and we must make concessions to try and do the things that the other person likes, but we don’t have to love those things, we just have to be honest about them. The greatest relationships that I’ve seen, allow for the individuals to still do the things that they’ve always enjoyed doing, even if that isn’t with their partner. Great pairs know that they don’t always have to do everything together and they really enjoy when their partner has good friends that will do some of the stuff that may seem less fun to them with their partner. What guy really wants to spend all day at the mall shopping? What girl wants to participate in a bacon eating contest? Well, that’s not really fair, who doesn’t want to participate in a bacon eating contest?!

But the point is good relationships don’t result in either party giving up who they are. When you love someone you should love them, not what you think you can turn them in to. Too many relationships have failed because we forget the qualities that made us fall in love in the first place, and it’s easier to quit something than it is to try and learn why it isn’t working. Love is work, but it’s also the only emotion that most people seem to be willing to work so hard to keep in their lives, despite how hard it can be sometimes.

So how’d I spend my Valentine’s Day? Well, I spent it a lot like my other days. I got up and went to work, got to drive some real crazy kids to school and saw how creative they could be with their Valentine’s Day boxes. Saw a 2^nd grader take his shot with a 5^th grader (life’s too short not to take chances!) and then at the end of the day handed out some Valentine’s Day candy and proceeded to have to tell the kids the rest of the trip that there certainly is a thing as too much candy. On a side note here, if you ever want to feel great on Valentine’s Day, single or not, drive a school bus or become an elementary teacher! I can’t tell you how many Valentine’s I got, and the diabetic shock I went into last night as I was getting 59 on Flappy Bird was totally worth it! (Yeah, that’s right, 59)

So now you’re thinking, wow…Flappy Bird, huh? I also had my cat and dog you judgmental pricks! (and booze…lots and lots of booze) Valentine’s Day was a good one, I got to see a bunch of awesome kids doing creative work, got to find out we have an awesome item for our charity basketball tournament’s silent auction, and today I get to go celebrate a retirement/birthday party with one of my best friends parents and I also get to meet the newest addition to my friend’s family. Today isn’t Valentine’s Day anymore, but I get to go spend the day with people who don’t need it to be a holiday based on love to show it! Hope you all had a great Valentine’s Day, but I hope the rest of the days of the year are the ones that show you what love is really about!