Daiquiris, Dares, and Diapers

Greetings! Well, here I am. First day as a “guest blogger” and I sort of feel like it’s the first day of school. The good news is this is the blogosphere and none of you know that I’m sitting in my pj’s and pretty much look like I rolled out of a dumpster. (Er, well I guess now you know…) Either way this is definitely not one of those “what are you wearing?” smutty posts. So get your mind out of the gutter!

A regular follower of BD&LL (yea, that’s how the cool kids are referring to it) I was pretty pumped to have the opportunity to contribute. I mean, the blog even has its own Twitter handle. That usually equals B.F.D. in my book. (If you don’t know what BFD stands for, you probably don’t have a Twitter account. Just sayin'.) 

I digress…

I was told that the topics as of late have been dare related. (30 apples in a week? Um, no thanks!) And boy do I have a dare for y’all! Your mission, should you choose to accept it: Take care of a 2 year old and a 1 month old. Not so tough you say? Well then I double dog dare you to do this while hungover. Yea, you heard me. (And yes, I did throw a double dog dare out there. Bam!)

Perhaps I should give a little background to my dare. My husband, let’s call him “Manny” (very Maury Povich of me, eh?) and I used to be cool. And by cool I mean party crashin’, keg stand dominatin’, bad ass awesome. (In a white bread sorta way.) That was pre-kids. Now, we get excited to leave the house kid-less. Even if that means going to Menards. Lame city.

SIDE NOTE: Ok, here is the part where I must insert that the kids are totally worth it all. You know, with their sticky fingers, high pitched squeals, and all that other crap that parents say when they’re talking about the ups and downs of parenting. (To me, the real question is why do parents always feel the need to insert that “they’re worth it” line? I mean, we sort of all know that right?) Anyhoo, I don’t want you to think I’ve got ice running through my viens. So now that that part is out of the way… back to the hangover.

This past Saturday Manny and I found ourselves out and about kid-free. When my parents offered to take #1 AND #2 you could see the rubber burning as we sped out of their driveway after dropping them off. We were free! We dipped back into our “glory days” by stopping at a local establishment for some adult beverages. That’s right people, we were in a bar. (A no-kid zone, unless you’re somewhere in the Appalachians.)

After a number of beverages I could be found fist-pumping on the dance floor. The old me was back! Cut forward about 4 hours later. Up with #2 to change poopy pants and feed the kid a bottle. After that fun I laid back down for what I thought would be another hour or two of sleep. ERRR! (That’s a buzzer sound, BTW.) My eyes just closed and #1 was up. I’m telling you, I used to party well past the time these kiddos get up in the morning. (Thankfully “Manny” pulled my fist-pumping ass off the dance floor before the bar even closed and made me go home. Thanks Manny!)

Naps don’t really exist when you have kids. That is, unless, you’re the kid. Thankfully we were at grandma and grandpa’s house so Manny and I were able to get a little bit more sleep than we would have gotten had we been at home. (Grandparents rock!)

Me and #1 during my post-fist pump nap.

Whether you have kids or not, please heed my warning. Hangovers and kids do not mix. At all. That next song on the jukebox or the next drink may seem like a good idea at the time, but trust me, it is not worth it! (It’s really, really not worth it when you factor in dirty diapers and your gag reflex!!)

So do me a favor. If you see what appear to be parents of young children out for a night on the town, remind them (myself included) that they will probably have to be up in a few hours. Or, at the very least, buy them a drink and daydream about yourself sleeping in. Your hangover will probably be nonexistent in the morning.