Whiskey and Women

The epitome of Women and Whiskey.

This is what the good people who read my occasional posts have probably been waiting for. I made mention in my last post about some recent indiscretions that led me to miss a few #BDandLLHappyDays posts and have since been asked about it several times…so here it goes…

A few weeks back now I finished up working for the day and then headed over to our local watering hole to try and get in on the last few games of our volleyball league night and maybe have a cocktail or two.

I hadn’t really eaten that day much so after two drinks while playing volleyball I was already feeling a little bit buzzed. Once we finished our games I figured it would be in my best interest to get a little food into me before I continued to drink, so I sat down with my good friends Dustin, Lacey and Shari and had myself a delightful chicken sandwich.

During our dining experience one of the kids that work for us came to the table to chat and he also brought with him a group of young ladies who were camping at our establishment. All four girls were pretty attractive but I was pretty engaged in conversation with my friend Lacey and apparently they assumed that the two of us were married, after being assured that we were not the night took a drastic change.

Shortly after Dustin tried to claim that Lacey and I were in fact married and I told them that the two of them were actually married I believe that Lacey decided it was time to leave because she was afraid of ruining what the kids today call “my game.”

A few drinks later, including a shot or two, I was out on the dance floor with these girls dancing to what some people refer to as music but I simply call Country. If I was dancing to this so called, “music,” you know that I was starting to feel pretty intoxicated…but I wasn’t quite ready to dive in so I yelled to the bar tender (Fikin’ Swayze) that I needed whiskey, stat.

I look over and see that a shot is sitting next to a glass of beer. I personally really do enjoy whiskey but I had never attempted what is affectionately called a “Boiler Maker” before. But the country was blaring, the ladies were beckoning and I needed something more to drag me back to that dance floor…so I dropped my shot of whiskey into the beer, slammed the drink and retook my place back on the dance floor.

The thing that made the night fuzzy...but real.

I apparently switched to straight Jamie Jump-Up’s after that, which if you’re not familiar with them check out our What We’re Drinking page. The night really gets fuzzy after that but I remember that at one point two of the girls told my friend and I that they weren’t single and just left. It was kind of a strange exit and kind of out of the blue, but I guess that meant we were to continue our night with the other two girls and that we were supposed to be putting in some sort of “game.” Until that point I was pretty unaware that whatever “game” we had been using had been leading in this direction but whatever, the whiskey was flowing and it started to appear that my night was going to have a completely different ending than the one I had imagined, which was me getting a little buzzed up and then walking home to pass out with my dog.

So the night continued with the four of us, I found out all about the one girl, which I have since forgotten (whiskey side effects) but I do remember that at one point, as we were both getting a little more intoxicated, we were talking about how she had just graduated (college you sickos!) and was going to become a teacher.

I told her that I had a really good friend from Canada who was a teacher and that she actually taught all over the world. Somehow this led to me talking about all of the Spanish I know (que?) and her telling me that she speaks Spanish and a little French. So for some reason I said to myself, well let’s FaceTime my friend from Canada and we’ll speak Spanish to her…it seemed like the only logical thing to do (whiskey side effects).

Well I think that I had a very nice drunken conversation with my friend Brenda but the young lady I was with seemed to believe we were just calling one of my ex-girlfriends and really wanted nothing to do with it…let there be no mistake, I have absolutely no “game.”

The next thing I knew I was laying on my patio getting rid of the delightful chicken sandwich I had purchased earlier in the day. I must have felt pretty comfortable, though, because I was totally planning on spending my night right there until my friend decided to yell at me about something to the point where I just went and…you guessed it, passed out with my dog.

The next morning I awoke (just barely) for work to find I had a message on Facebook from a friend who happened to be out at the bar saying, “I want to write a blog about a guy making out with some random girl at the bar,” which brought back some memories of how I had in fact had an experience like that that could be blogged about. I responded, “as long as it ends with the guy waking up in a pile of his own throw-up alone.”

For some reason I kept hearing The Lumineers in my head singing, “Classy girls don’t kiss in bars like this.” Turns out classy guys don’t either…so that either means the young lady and I were not what you’d call classy, or we weren’t in a bar like the one in the song…I think you know what I choose to believe.

I later turned to Fikin’ Swayze to fill in a few more of the blanks for me, such as, if the girl thought I was using her to get back at an ex-girlfriend, how did we end up pawing at each other like wild animals at the bar? And what did I do with all of those hours that I can’t remember?

Well it turns out that I spent a portion of that time lying on my back outside of the bar “watching the stars,” as I like to remember it. But more than likely I was just passed out. Somehow it was after that little cat nap that I came back in, re-found that “game” thing and ended up stealing some kisses from my lovely new friend.

I can't really remember, but I'm pretty sure these are photos from my bar makeout sesstion.

Swayze ended up giving us a ride home at the end of the night and it sounds like the girl would have been alright with spending the night, but I was sleeping in the car and apparently she was a little worried about all of the whiskey I had consumed.

All in all, it was a night to forget. But she did have a beautiful smile and I am a sucker for a smile. She was a pretty girl and from what I remember we seemed to have fun together that night, I just don’t usually do things like that. I’ve been spending most of the last year building myself into a pretty decent human being but every now and again those wild nights come calling.

My last summer was spent for the most part in exercise and self pity. Once the summer ended I started moving in a more positive direction, I consumed as much literature as I could and tried to leave a positive impact on as many individuals as would listen to me as well…but this summer I’ve been letting lose a little more. This was one of the only nights I got a little crazier than normal, but I’ve been having fun again and I am getting ever so closer back to happy. I don’t like to get this drunk and make a fool out of myself, but it happened and as many of us say, “I’m never drinking again,” …mine’s now in print and shall become much harder to forget.

I’ll keep falling for the beautiful smiles and I guess they say that if you’re looking for a girl you shouldn’t be looking in bars, but the libraries, coffee shops and wherever else a guy should look don’t serve the whiskey I like, and classy girls don’t kiss in bars like those.

Until next time, “el gato es blanco.”