Ahh.. BD&LL, I feel like I'm writing to a long lost friend. My notebooks, admittedly less full these days, are dotted here and there with very and not so very partial attempts/seed-ideas for blog posts. I just never seem to get them completed or transferred to the digital medium. The mind, the incredible result of this cosmic experiment of life, "is a wonderful servant, but a terrible master." In order to drive out this master, I've been sending in the special forces: music and philosophy. Which is what brings us here. Now. Today's lesson from a completely unqualified but unordinary teacher.
The TL;DR ('too long, didn't read' for those of you not into the whole brevity thing) version is this: read philosophy, it's exercise for your brain. Also stuff about the cosmos, life, stardust and humanity.
I've picked up reading the works of a very unique individual lately by the name of Paolo Soleri. He was an architect, builder, philosopher, dreamer, prophet; a man of the Renaissance mind set living in modern times. I was introduced to his work through one of his one time protege, Doug Lee who became Chief Architect and worked Soleri's Arcosanti project. I was introduced to Doug because he is my beautiful and apprentice architect wife's boss. Anyway, after reading the entirety of the Wheel of Time Series it was time for me to put the fiction down. Soleri's words have dusted off a few other rooms in my brain containing similar works that I've read. All that lead to this idea for BD&LL. Enjoy.
Life Lesson #2: Life is an Experiment
Reading philosophy, studying it, is truly an exercise of the mind. As such it can be difficult, frustrating, and extremely rewarding. It can also lift you out of a bad mood, give you a new perspective: a filter in which to interpret the reality that surrounds us. I would like to share some if it but I'll do my best to do the majority of the heavy lifting and offer a more "10-minute abs version."
Perhaps you've noticed that I've assigned arbitrary #'s to my "life lessons." This is because the "lessons" thus far are extremely specific and removed from the more basic necessities of life. They have been lessons in navigating the tributaries of a much larger sphere of life. But much thought over what would be the most basic lessons lead me to these two. First lesson: survive. It is the self-containing truth of life to survive. Without life, there are no 'life' lessons. Maybe more on that in a later post. Here, I want to share life lesson #2: Life is an experiment.
My life, your life, all preceding life in entirety of history, the cosmos, etc. - i.e. human life and the entirety of all living things past and present, has been and will be an experiment oflife. Billions of years of evolution can be looked at as an incredibly long experiment in survival. That's pretty epic. Have a drink. Stay seated and let your brain chew on that one - that human brain which is probably the most impressive result of those billions of years of cosmic transformation. Stardust assembling itself into a consciousness that can be aware of its own existence. Sorry. I did say I'd do the heavy lifting, on we go.
Like good philosophy is apt to do, this one requires thought and reflection, but once you get a grasp on just a part of it, you see it in the world around you and begin to understand the larger implications of those ideas. Something similar to what we call the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon. My own reflections on this cosmic-level philosophical filter coupled with my own hubris of assigning hierarchy to life lessons is this: You can ponder the actual consequences of this philosophy, the scientific understanding of how life originated, how it processes, how it creates, how it persists, etc. But you can sort of turn the philosophy inside out and think of it as way in which to live life. Which I believe is what we're all trying to do here at this fine establishment we call Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons; that is, impart what little wisdom we may have gained through our own experiment in living.
The basic philosophical questions are something like this: (1) What is nature of existence? - Or more simply "What exists?" (2) How do I know that? or How do I know what I think exists actually does exist the way I think? (3) What should I do?
The third one is important and the answers are many. But these are the types of things that guide the way in which we live. What is right and wrong? What is the ultimate purpose of life? What is the ultimate purpose of my life? etc. etc. ad absurdum.
In answering this question our species has created moral code, culture, religion, philosophy which then breeds more philosophy, law, social norms, common sense. The diversity of the human species means a diversity of answers and combinations of the answers. We all subscribe to some set of philosophical consequences: some established law, nation, culture, religion, morals, manners, and means of interacting with each other. We build our personal ethos and directions for living through our experiences with these "answers" through our life. Our families, friends, churches, nations, towns, cities, heroes and heroines, have all had a say in what we have established as way to live and also ways in which not to live.
I'm not here to argue for the rightness or wrongness of any of these ways to live. My point is simply this: with so many answers available to "what should I do?" and "how should I live?", we can view our own life, and that of others, as an experiment - one testing the validity of our life lessons. I think this is quite liberating. As a species we are still trying to figure out what the best answers are. As individuals we spend the entirety of our lives figuring out our answers. The point of life is not finding the best answer, it's to keep questioning, keep experimenting, keep testing. It's the journey, not the destination.
If I treat my life as an experiment in living it opens up the possibilities of true liberty, understanding, tolerance - of myself, of others. While I have a core set of beliefs that make up who I am, what I hold important, what I deem appropriate, etc, simply knowing that it's still imperfect allows me to be open to the viewpoint of those around me; to attempt understanding while reigning in judgement; to open the door to honestly and dialogue instead of fear, hate, and cruelty (all too real demons).
It can be uncomfortable to take on this perspective and use it to explore and experiment with what life has to offer. I also know that many of those reading will not and maybe cannot take it on because you subscribe to a set of answers that prevent you from doing so. And if that set of answers leaves you content, happy, and an active, functioning, contributor to the betterment of human society than who am I to tell you that you should do otherwise? I wouldn't and I won't. But this perspective is what's working for me. Here. Now.
Listening to: Rival Sons; Black Crowes; Rolling Stones
Reading: Paolo Soleri
Playing music, living, learning, stumbling, and coasting through life.
Take care,
Mikey
p.s.
Here's something I've been part of (taking and adding to the ether): Whiskey & the Wolves - an experiment all its own.
It’s been a long time since I actually put any words down in
the BD&LL world, but recently something was brought to my attention that
seems to be a pretty big deal nationally and it really got me thinking.
I think most people are probably already sick of hearing
about the Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner situation and everyone seems to have a pretty
strong opinion one way or another. The most recent flame to this fire was the announcement
that Caitlyn Jenner would be awarded the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage at the
2015 ESPY’s.
There are a couple of individuals that people feel are more
deserving of this award, with the most prominent being the college basketball
player, Lauren Hill, who recently passed away from cancer. As cancer is
something near and dear to my heart I felt like weighing in on this subject
seemed pretty legitimate for me and my outlet is BD&LL, which is usually a
pretty lighthearted blog but every now and then I like to take on more serious
subjects, so here it goes…
Let me start off by saying that I followed the journey of
Lauren Hill like so many other sports fans around the United States. Her story
certainly brought tears to my eyes and when I think of the girl whose life was
cut far too short, I certainly think of a courageous battle fought with
perseverance which should make her undoubtedly eligible for either the Arthur
Ashe Courage Award, or the Jimmy V Perseverance Award.
She was an amazing person who despite getting the news that
she was going to die, kept on battling and even used her new found celebrity to
raise awareness and funds for cancer research and to hopefully one day find a
cure, and man-o-man have they raised funds! Thanks in part to ESPN for sharing
her story the organization, The Cure Starts Now foundation, has raised over
$2.7 million to help find a cure for DIPGG (Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma),
the cancer that eventually took Lauren’s life.
But in case you don’t know me, that’s not the only thing
ESPN does for cancer research. Teaming with Jim Valvano in 1993, ESPN helped to
establish The V Foundation for Cancer Research which to date has raised and
donated over $130 million into cancer research, and many of you reading this
post have contributed to that amount through the organization Hoops for Hope!
So, for ESPN to be getting bashed for not choosing a warrior in the fight
against cancer for the Courage Award, seems like a big deal…but what they’re
really doing is far more important than who they choose for an award.
That being said, people truly are outraged that instead of
someone like Lauren Hill, ESPN has chosen a former Olympic Track Athlete who
has come out as Transgender for the Courage Award this year. Some of the
arguments stem from the fact that the athlete is from a family who has used
their celebrity for everything that is wrong with celebrities and personally I
truly hate anytime I hear one of their names mentioned. I really think that
they are a great example of the things wrong with this country…yet their shows
are popular enough to withstand several seasons and people everywhere always
seem to wonder what they’ll do next…so the father coming out as Transgender and
getting an operation to effectively make him a woman, certainly may seem like a
publicity ploy to many. I even felt that way right away.
But I don’t watch the shows, I just know of them and that
seems like an inappropriate reason to hate them, and an uneducated one as well.
I’m not going to spend any of my precious time catching up on what I’ve been “missing
out” on, but I’d like to look at Caitlyn’s situation from a perspective I
should…not knowing anything else about her or her family other than the fact
that Bruce felt like he was living a lie his entire life. He always felt as
though he was a woman trapped in a man’s body. To me that seems like a very
strange thing, but I also have no idea how it feels to live my life as a
minority or anything other than what I am, and Bruce apparently never felt the
same way I always have, comfortable in my own skin.
The idea of Transgender makes many people confused and puts
most people off a bit, but if you look back at our colored history there were
many different instances where things that seem normal today were thought of as
strange an even hated. If I need to remind anyone…”White people” destroyed most
of an indigenous people and took their land for their own, we then forced
African people to our country and then used them as slaves. Slowly (very
slowly) we began to see the error of our ways and started to attempt to make up
for these two atrocities but have sort of screwed both parties out of their
true identity and tell them to get along with the times. Even after we started
to attempt to put things right with these two groups, we were still pretty much
treating our women like property and even today they make on average 30% less
than men doing the same work. More recently, after years and years of us
openly bashing homosexuals (mostly due to religious reasons, (BS)) some states
have finally started to realize that the government should have absolutely no
say in who we should get to love (the separation of church and state only
happens when it’s convenient for the state).
So last year, the Arthur Ashe Award for Courage went to the
first openly gay professional football player, Michael Sam, and for the most
part, he was heralded. A lot of individuals were still upset about it, but the
tides have begun to turn for the homosexual community, making it more socially
acceptable…but apparently not for the Transgender community.
I’m sorry, when I think about this it gets me very, very
upset. I work with kids during the school year as a bus driver and I see
bullies, and I see kids coming from homes that don’t prepare their kids for a
day in school. I see kids who are obviously lacking love at home and some that
probably love school just because it’s the one place they feel safe and even
loved. I love kids, each and every one of them…but they can also be mean. But
hate isn’t ingrained in kids; it’s unfortunately learned…often times at these
same institutions which so many kids once felt safe and even loved at. It takes
a single kid or a small group to spread hate, which always manifests itself
onto the weakest individuals, and because our society has an established
pecking order, often times the minorities are the ones that get picked on.
I’d like to look at some research, if any has been done, on
the rate of suicide in high schools and colleges throughout the years and link up
the rise and fall to major events in the social hemisphere. What I’m assuming
we would see is that as it became more sociably acceptable to be a black student
in a predominantly white school, the suicide numbers slowly fell and the rates
would more than likely be similar with women, homosexuals, and other “minorities.”
The point is, by making a big deal out of things such as
Caitlyn Jenner and her changing her sexual identity…we create hate.
Lauren Hill exemplified what it meant to be courageous when
she knew there was no hope for survival, she also defined perseverance…just
like so many other cancer patients I’ve known personally. Speaking with any of
their loved ones, they would tell you the same things about their battle, they
were a true inspiration, they fought a courageous battle, and the perseverance
they showed given insurmountable odds, was a true inspiration…
Most people have dealt with cancer at this point in one
facet or another, it’s the uninvited guest which can rip a family, friends,
everything…apart. We hate it and we want to get rid of it, so we fight. And we
donate money, and we educate people about it, and we do the things to try and
keep it out of our lives, but it still comes…and then we fight, and sometimes
we win sometimes we lose, but we fight because life is precious and worth
fighting for.
It may not seem, at first glance, that Caitlyn Jenner’s
fight is similar…but it is. I talked about suicide because so many youth are
lost each year because they are constantly bullied for not being like the other
kids. Many of these kids are different because they don’t look or act like the
majority, they’re easy targets because we as a society say that what they are,
isn’t right. We have laws set up making the act of marrying the person you
truly love, illegal. And we say that even if you spend your whole life feeling
like you’re something you’re not…you’re wrong. That “God” made you that way,
and that’s just who you are.
Bruce Jenner spent his whole life feeling like he was
something he was not, and he lived 60+ years trying to pretend that he was the
thing he felt so strongly that he wasn’t because we as a society told him that
he was wrong and he saw that the “majority” hated the thing he wanted to
become. So he pretended…and he lived his lie, and one day he said, “No more. I
know what I am and I’m going to become it.”
Now look at all the backlash that he’s getting, all the hate
that his decision has brought upon him, hate he knew would be there when he
came out the other side as Caitlyn…yet he did it. He became Caitlyn and stopped
living what he felt was a lie, and being the public figure he was…he didn’t
just do it for him, he did it so that the individuals out there struggling with
identity issues can see that they aren’t alone. He might not have done it to
start the conversation, but I’m sure that she will be at the 2015 ESPY’s
accepting the Courage Award and the fact that she will be, puts the subject in
the limelight. It allows us to openly discuss it, hopefully educate ourselves
about it, and maybe one day accept it. The fact that Bruce knew how publicly
this decision would be broadcast, and the effects it could have…makes him
courageous…and in my mind, makes him a very worthy recipient of the 2015 Arthur
Ashe Award for Courage.
I hope someday…coming out as gay, or transgender is no
longer considered a courageous act, much like a black person not giving up
their seat to a white person, or a woman voting is no longer considered
courageous, it’s the norm. We hate what we don’t understand…so let’s take this
opportunity to attempt a better understanding of our fellow men and women, no
matter who they love, or what they are.
It's been far too long since I submitted a blog post. Tonight as I sit at my tutoring job with exactly 0 students in the room I can really think of no excuse to not write a blog post so here it goes.
Part of the reason that I have not written recently is that I haven't really felt like it. In fact I haven't really felt like doing much of anything. I wouldn't say I am depressed but I have exactly been farting out sunshine either. Not sure there is one cause but can think of some things that might be contributing. I don't want this to be a "Oh - look how sucky my life is" kind of a post so I am not going to talk about these reasons.
Instead, in an attempt to move past this "partly-cloudy to mostly-cloudy" time I will focus on writing about some things that are supplying me with a bit of joy.
First off I recently came across some great music. Thanks to the magic of Pandora! (Sidebar - if Pandora was a girl imagine how much easier dating would be. It's like Pandora knows everything I like and don't like and then introduces me to stuff I didn't know that I like. Amazing!)
Anyway - the music is great. Not only do I like the tunes themselves, but I can relate to the lyrics as well. I have been listening to it regularly and it still isn't getting old. (Definitely not like that one song by that one girl that that one station plays all the time. And don't act like you don't know what I am talking about. I bet you even secretly listen to it and sing along.)
Check it out. If you like it, buy it. I did. Hunter Johnson
(Continued after a 1.5 day delay. Can you believe it, some student was so inconsiderate and came in for help with his Geometry. Kids these days are so selfish.)
We are also preparing for a big life change in our house. We are days away from welcoming our baby girl. The feelings associated with the second child are somewhat different for me than the first. There is still excitement. I am excited to have a girl. Many times I have imagined having a little girl and am very excited to turn these into reality.
However, I have some reservations. I now know from personal experience all about late night feeding, blow-out diapers and long nights with a sick baby. At times having a 3 year old seems like all my patience can handle. Put these two together and it can be a bit overwhelming. Oh-yeah and there is the second mortgage known as day-care + baby food/formula + diapers.
Of course all-in-all the positives greatly outweigh the negatives. I had a blast last night playing Ninja Turtle Bowling with my son. Even though, according to him he beat me every time. I guess that happens when you get to go first every time. I know he will be a great big brother and my wife is the most patient loving mother (well - probably second behind my mom, but she is the Michael Jordan of moms). Between the effort and love she gives to her students at school and our family I'm not sure how she does it all.
In the end a few lessons have been learned over the last few weeks.
Music is awesome (even Blank Spaces can serve a purpose)
Write - it makes you feel better and lets you think through your thoughts (I think smart people have a fancy word for that)
Find someone who you can share your feelings with (you aren't fooling those that are close to you by covering up your worries and "bad" feelings)
Enjoy what comes your way and don't worry too much about things (so far for 34 years everything has worked out pretty well - no reason to think this trend won't continue)
I truly never thought that when I started to do a little “quick”
research for this blog post that it would take me this long to actually put the
thing together and get something written up, but after seeing this College
Humor video I felt like it would be a good subject to talk about.
I started by posting the video to my facebook wall as well
as on our Facebook page and asked what other people thought about the subject.
I didn’t get the outpouring of comments that I would discover usually
accompanied any post about eliminating tipping but I did get a few of my
friends who work in the service industry to leave me some feedback as well as a
patron who could see the benefits of discarding the tradition of tipping.
EV: Interesting stuff. I don't care if ppl don't tip as bartending isn't my regular gig. Will I remember you and hold it against you? Yep. I also disagree with the Cornell study they reference. I get my biggest tips from ppl I take care of the most. While I try to treat everyone equal, Assholes-a-plenty can make this difficult on busy nights. Raising prices isn't an easy answer. Just gives the masses something different to complain about...my .02 cents.
CN: It's a novel concept, but one that would take years and lots of money to change. Small businesses (non-chain establishments) would be the first to feel it, so the backlash would be a pr nightmare. There's a restaurant in New York (?) that just banned tipping because they gave their employees a livable salary + benefits, but that causes the owners to increase the price of everything, which is a risk.
LB: Hmmmm. Interesting I am not sure how I feel about this. I feel one of draws of serving is the potential of earning more than minimum wage. Especially in a small town at least in my experience you take care of the people they take care of you. It's my part time gig, but I wouldn't do it for straight minimum wage.
AH: I think it makes sense! I know many times I may have under-tipped just because my friends and I would base it off of how many little bills we had in our wallets.
My biggest discovery through my research is that the tipping
war has become one between the consumer and the server, and the owner or
franchisee is almost always left out of the argument. Most responses went
something to this effect:
Server: “I work my butt off serving going above and beyond
my job description and I often receive $0 checks because my salary doesn’t
cover the amount I have to pay in taxes on the amount I make in tips. If you
can’t afford to tip, then stay home. If you don’t tip me well, expect bad
service…etc.”
Patron: “I don’t think that I should have to tip in addition
to what I’m paying for my meal. I put forth good money to enjoy the service of
eating out and being served is part of that service so I don’t think I should
have to tip more money than what I’m already paying. If servers don’t like
their jobs, than they should work harder, get a better education and move into
a job that pays better!”
This is just a basic compilation of some of the arguments on
both sides, but the crazy thing is that for some reason most of the Patrons are
arguing against the servers and the servers against the patrons. The fact of
the matter is that the FEDERAL minimum wage for tipped employees is set at
$2.13/hour…FEDERAL! As with other occupations, employers have to pay whatever
is higher, the Federal or State wage so you do have states, such as Minnesota,
that pay their tipped employees the same minimum wage that other entry level
employment positions get paid. And that kind of leads me into a response to one
of the largest arguments…
Restaurant owners couldn’t afford to pay greater wages to
their employees because than they would have to raise prices and most patrons
would not be able to afford to go out to eat!
I probably spent the greatest amount of time trying to
discredit this argument. Almost always, people would reference that the profit margin for most restaurants is a measly 2%, and although that may be true for
some restaurants, that figure is an average nationwide…which also includes all
of the restaurants that don’t make it. So one restaurant may be making a profit
margin of 40%, 6 others offset that by losing money and closing their doors,
and unfortunately it is true that restaurants close every day, it could be from
poor management, poor marketing or location, or even bad or not well trained
staff. It happens…in every business, not just the restaurant business.
But my main question here was, “how do restaurants handle
the change in minimum wage per state? How can it have such a huge impact on the
profit margin yet we still have restaurants in states the pay the minimum wage?
My obvious answer was that restaurants inflate their prices where they have to
pay their employees more, which makes sense considering that you need to offset
costs through the price of your products…but then I saw an Applebee’s
commercial and saw that their 2 for $20 menu was back…and I thought to myself,
well how the heck can a national brand like Applebee’s run a commercial like
that? Their restaurants are franchised so each owner, depending on their state
and the other expenses they face must be able to set their own prices, right?
If they can’t and the prices are set by corporate, how the heck do they
survive?
I guess the answer is that the 2% profit margin may just be
a bit of bullshit.
Sure the states that get to pay their employees less will
have a greater profit margin but the other states must still be doing alright
for themselves in order to keep their doors open and their employees employed.
Upon further research I discovered that the actual profit margin for most
restaurants (those that make it) is probably closer to the 10-12% figure, in
large part, thanks to lobbyists…
$0 Checks
I know it stinks when you bust your butt working for someone and then when your pay period ends you receive a check for $0 or you may even end up having to pay in. It has to suck, but it's not really an argument for why people need to tip more. I'm sorry, but everyone who works for a living has to pay taxes, it's just how things work, and when you get a $0 check, it doesn't mean that you worked for free...it means that you made so much money in tips that your measly wage that you are being paid by your employer has all gone to paying the taxes associated with the amount of money you made.
I'm not happy with the amount taken out by the government each pay check that I receive either, but for my current jobs I'm paid a fair wage by my employer and when the taxes are taken out I still have enough to pay my bills so I keep my current positions. If I wouldn't make enough, then it would be time to find different employment, it's not rocket science...it's life.
I may be willing to bet that if servers actually claimed every tip that they made, they might have to pay in quite a bit more than their $2.13/hour pay check as well. Another perk of this type of employment is cash tips...and cash is pretty hard to tax if you don't claim it.
HOW THE HELL CAN
FEDERAL MINIMUM WAGE ONLY BE $2.13 FOR TIPPED EMPLOYEES?!
It turns out that way back in 1991 (which doesn’t seem that
far back to me), restaurant lobbyist convinced congress that there should be a
different minimum wage for tipped employees…how did they do this, why the same
way everything else is done in congress, by buying politicians votes. Who could
afford to pay to get something like that done?! Poor restaurant owners who were
trying to scrap by on the crumbs of a 2% profit margin…sound fishy to you?
Here’s the kicker…The Federal minimum wage was $3.80/hour in
1990 and was raised to $4,25 an hour starting April 1st, 1991. The Federal
minimum wage today is $7.25/hour with talks of an increase up to $10.10/hour…but
the tipped minimum wage has remained at $2.13 since 1991. Let’s say we get to
that $10.10 point by 2016, that would mean that in 15 years we have seen an
increase in the minimum wage for most employees of 137%...which may be wrong
since it’s been quite some time since I’ve had to use math…but in that same
time frame, the tipped minimum wage will not have changed at all.
The law states that if tipped employees do not make the
minimum wage when their salary and tips are combined than the employer must
make up the difference, which of course is a terrible system as you put it, once
again, back on the employee to bring this to their employer’s attention. If you
take the time to read some of the other links I provide at the end of this
post, and read the comments left by people in the service industry on those
posts, you’ll hear horror stories of how employers have even been known to skue
the amount employees made in tips in order to not have to pay them the
additional funds…you’ll also see that most tipped employees, despite what their
base salary is, make far more than most if not all entry level positions once
you figure in their tips.
SO WHY ARE WE ARGUING
OVER THIS?
When it comes right down to it, my personal belief is
centered on the fact that big business (restaurants) are geniuses. Not only
have they locked in their minimal ways of paying employees with the federal
government, they’ve turned over their responsibility of paying those employees
to the people who are using their service. If a server doesn’t make the amount
they think they deserve, they aren’t upset with their employer, they’re upset
with the customer.
And honestly, how could they be upset with their employer? I
don’t think I’ve ever taken a job without knowing what I’d be getting paid in
advance and the same goes for servers. They’re told what their base salary will
be and are aware of the fact that they are mostly paid by the consumer through
tips.
WHY WOULD
YOU WANT EMPLOYEES WHO WORK FOR TIPS?
I get that if you have employees work for tips, than you can
pay them less and consequently rake in more money yourself, but what are the
negatives associated with this practice?
Pilferage. First of all, count on pilferage. If you tell someone that
you’re going to pay them right next to nothing to do a job for you, but someone
else tells them that if they give them a little extra kick in their drink or
some additional food than they will tip them handsomely, than how do you
prevent them from taking from the person who’s giving them nothing and giving
to the person that has offered to give them extra?
The number one problem that restaurants deal with is pilferage, and as stated above, how could it not be? If employers went out of their way to pay their employees what they're worth, and outlawed the tipping practice than why would employees pilfer? If they knew that giving someone an extra shot of alcohol in their drink wasn't going to lead to more money for them, than why would they risk doing it? A better question may be, why haven't restaurants gone this way if pilferage costs them so much? I think a good reason may be that they save more money in employee costs than the costs associated with pilferage. The attempt to stop this in restaurants/bars is a prime example of having your cake and eating it too. More profits for the restaurants and less loss is definitely to their benefit, but apparently increasing the wage of their employees doesn't really cross their minds as they try to find a solution to this particular problem.
Off Days. What happens when you have a tired employee? Say
this employee has been a blockbuster for a couple of days and has made pretty
darn good money in tips, but last night they went out and just don’t feel like
working today. They may lower their performance simply because they don’t
really care to be there and know they’ve already made a lot of money for the
week.
Company Image. This kind of goes along with the last item,
but what kind of employees do you want representing your business? How
demanding can you be of an employee you only pay $2.13 to do their job? It is a
staple in the customer service business that the customer pays your wages, not
just for tipped employees but for anyone in customer service at all. People get
to decide where to spend their money and if your service isn’t good they will
go somewhere else and spend their money. If they go somewhere else, that
translates into less money for the owners of the operation and also less hours
for the employees and possible closure of the establishment.
If you want to have employees that represent what you want
your business to stand for than you have to compensate them for the job. If you
rely on someone else to compensate them (through tips), than expect them to
portray the image that gets them paid the most, which more than likely won’t be
the standards that you set.
Have you seen the movie "Waiting?" Quite frankly it is a disgusting portrayal of the restaurant business and many of the people I have known who have worked in the industry have said that it's actually a pretty accurate movie for some of the places they have worked. If you haven't seen it, it may be worth a watch just so you can see why they say, don't mess with people who prepare your food. When people work for the customer and the customer pisses them off, it isn't a good thing. These things may happen no matter the wage set for servers because we've all seen how terrible some people treat others but maybe we could have better behaved patrons and servers if owners paid their employees more and management was given more of a green light to refuse service to patrons who lack respect for restaurant employees.
CONCLUSION
We all get an opinion on everything, that’s what makes this
country so great and in the same sense, tough to live in! But when it comes to
tipping I think we really need to consider what it is, a way for employers to
get away with paying their employees less which translates into higher profit
margins for the company. A better bottom line, regardless of other arguments.
The restaurant industry is a multi-billion dollar industry which employs a
giant portion of working individuals, but like many industries it is just
another business with the same risks/reward possibilities that others face but
are protected towards better profits because of a loop hole which allows them
not to pay a livable wage to their employees. They’re smart, though, turning
the debate away from them and towards the consumer/server relationship.
I hope in the future we see a change in this system and
employees are paid what they are worth by their employer. I, personally love to
tip for great service because I like to reward people who do their job above
the call of duty, but when you consider the markup on food and drinks at all
restaurants, you start to question why you’re paying double for the single
service you’re receiving. The best thing that restaurants do is when they
automatically add on a certain percentage tip for larger groups. Servers and
patrons alike see it as a way to ensure that the server doesn’t get “stiffed”
by the patrons, but really it’s just a way for the employer to ensure that the
employee is getting paid by the patron, not them. The industry has done one
hell of a job pulling the wool over all of our eyes, and hopefully someday we
can do something about it.
WHY AM I QUALIFIED TO
MAKE THESE ARGUMENTS?
For one, I’m a writer who adds another heading after his
conclusion heading, so I must be better at something other than writing, right?
But more importantly I had a serious three month stand in
the industry. For the most part I washed dishes but one day I was given my big
break to attempt serving!
I got to serve exactly one table.
At that table I took their drink and food orders right away
as they came in knowing what they’d like as they were regulars. There were five
patrons who all ordered a pop as well as a water and then their food order. I
filled the glasses with the appropriate beverages, loaded them on my tray,
brought them over to their table, and then proceeded to spill the entire tray
on all them.
They were absolutely soaked but fantastic about the whole
situation. I was obviously very embarrassed and apologetic but they were
unreal. They said that it wasn’t a big deal at all, and allowed me to continue
to serve them the rest of the time, all while sitting there in their soaking
wet clothes! They even left me a really good tip, I remember because it was the
first and last table that I ever got to serve. After that it was back to
washing dishes until I decided the restaurant business wasn’t for me.
But that’s not really where my restaurant story ends. I
actually, somewhere along the line, started to love to deal with people and for
a long time felt like running a restaurant would be something I would be
interested in so when I had exhausted most other majors in college (I think I
had gone through about 6) I decided to get my degree in what used to be known
as Hotel & Restaurant Management which has now taken on a broader scope to
include the entire service industry and is now known as Hospitality Management.
I have yet to re-enter the restaurant business but have strongly
been once again contemplating it and felt like the issue of tipping may be
something that would be worth doing some research on. The links below will lead
you to several other great articles and facts about tipping and the restaurant
business in general so I hope you check them out! But I started this blog with
a video and I’d also like to end it with one. This is a TED Talk given in
Canada from an individual who has worked in the Restaurant industry his entire
life and has some fantastic information and suggestions about tipping. If you
don’t check out the other links, at least give this video a watch. It’ll cost
you 20 minutes of your life but the gratuity is already included!
Searching for the Life Lesson?
How about, don’t judge a book by its cover? When
we talk about tipping it becomes too cut and dry of a topic, there aren’t
tippers and non-tippers and those are the sides, both are really fighting
against the establishment…they just don’t realize it a lot of the time.
A Few More Articles for Your Reading Enjoyment.
(Make sure to read all of the comments to really get a feel for how the battle has become one between Servers and Patrons rather than against the Restaurant Owners)
I hadn’t really thought about it for quite some time, I
remember watching the touching tribute during the ESPY’s and I remember being
very moved by the Jimmy V award winner’s speech, but Stuart Scott was a young
man, a person who was always there and would undoubtedly win his battle with
cancer. I didn’t really think too much more about it…until the morning of
January 4th, 2015.
My dad and I were just preparing to leave my sister’s place
in the cities to begin our journey back home after a nice vacation together. I
had just stepped back in from outside when my sister told me the news, Stuart
Scott had died. It was a weird feeling that came over me and I think I shared
with the others in the room, we didn’t know Scott, but in a way we did…and we
were all going to be sad that he was no longer with us.
I went to the gym when I got home to play some basketball
and spoke with one of my great friends about this legendary ESPN anchor. He
said that he had seen the announcement and that he had actually shed a tear (I
certainly had as well). He put the sentiment of many in a good perspective, he
said, “You know it’s kind of strange, I didn’t know the guy at all but he’s
been a part of my life for like the last fifteen years. I don’t really know who
he was as a person, but every single day I would listen to Stuart Scott for one
program or another.”
It’s crazy how a personality you know no other way than
through a program you watch can have such an impact on your life. But if you
have seen any of the coverage since his passing, you can see that it may not be
the same for every television figure that you run across, that some people just
possess that quality no matter where you find them, and that Stuart Scott, by all
accounts…was special.
I was saddened by the loss in a lot of the same ways that my
friend was, but until last year’s ESPY’s…that was the only thing I knew about
Stuart Scott. I wasn’t aware that he had been fighting the same battle my mom
had once fought and I wasn’t aware that there was more to this person other
than his dynamic personality that truly shone through his television persona.
But then I watched the ESPY’s and saw a glimpse at this man’s battle and also
who he was as an individual.
Then I heard him talk about his battle…
And I saw the essence of The V Foundation once again
personified, as I had seen through Jim Valvano and I had seen through my mom’s
battle. The will to not give up, to keep fighting as hard as they could right
until the end because life truly is worth fighting for. I was moved by this man
and how he was not just fighting this disease, but how he was living his life.
He was not letting the disease define him, but was living with cancer.
I spent a great deal of last night watching tribute videos
of Scott as well as re-watching these videos from the ESPY’s…and I cried. I
watched more this morning that were televised through ESPN, videos of his
co-workers and friends talking about the impact he had on their profession, the
sports world, and most importantly, their lives.
Later on my dad stopped by the house to chat and have a cup
of coffee and once again he and I spoke a little about Stuart Scott and I got
to the point where it was hard for me to talk about it. I often get caught up
in the fight against cancer because it’s so near and dear to my and my family’s
hearts. Losing a loved one to cancer is never an easy thing and when talking
about my mom, I always hate to say that she lost her fight against cancer. It’s
just never felt right. She fought her ass off to beat the disease, to survive
not for herself but for us and because life is worth living, so when she did
pass away from cancer it didn’t really feel like she lost. We all feel a loss
without her in our daily lives anymore, but she fought like hell and if there
had been a way to truly win the battle, I can’t help but think that she would
have.
That’s why I lost it this morning. I remembered my mom’s fight, and I’ve
spent theses past nine years trying to figure out a better way to describe her
battle, rather than saying that she lost it…then I heard Stuart Scott give his
speech. I heard the words come out of this man that I had been searching for
for the better part of a decade, “When you die, that doesn’t mean you lose to
cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which
you live.”
Here at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons we've talked a lot about heroes and I found it kind of funny to see that one of Stuart's favorite "heroes," Jack Bauer (Keifer Sutherland's 24 Character) presented him with the award, and he mentions it because it seems like a big deal to him. What's funny about that to me, is that it appears that he doesn't understand that there are two men standing on that stage, and that one played a hero on TV, while the other exemplified everything we believe a hero to be.
One of my favorite quotes of all time was something Vince
Lombardi once said, “Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” I’ve
always associated this quote with sports and have always found it a great way
to inspire young athletes when I’ve worked with them throughout my life. But it
wasn’t until after I heard Stuart Scott’s speech that I started to understand
that this quote goes beyond sports, that it immortalized the same sentiment
that Scott portrayed through his speech and the great Jim Valvano had done with
his 20 some years earlier, that fighting the good fight and giving it your all…win
or lose, results in victory.
Scott went on to say, “So live. Live. Fight like hell. And
when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest, and let somebody else fight
for you.” While he was still with us he spoke of the family and friends that
stayed by his side and reminded him to stay in the fight at his lowest points.
So he kept fighting, just like Jim Valvano, and just like our mom.
All of these people, as well as so many others that I’ve
known who have passed away from cancer continued to fight right through the end…but
now they’ve reached their resting point and can fight no longer…so now we must
continue our fight for them.
Each year a fantastic group of people join us to continue
our fight against cancer through Hoops for Hope and The V Foundation for Cancer
Research. If we hadn’t continued our mother’s fight we would never have found
the amazing organization that we are now a part of. We wouldn’t have been
inspired by her and Valvano to help continue to fight to find a cure and I may
have never found the words that represent how I felt about my mother’s fight,
through another warrior in the battle, Stuart Scott.
He would have just been a Sports Center anchor to me, I may
have still shed a tear for him as my friend had, but I wouldn’t share this
connection with him like I feel I now do.
One of the things that bothers me more than anything is that
after we lose someone to cancer the family is left behind to try and pick up
the pieces. I know this is a terrible thing to have to go through because me
and my family have done it, and continue to do it every day. If I could I would
love to talk to Stuart’s daughters and tell them that I’m here for them if they
need someone to talk to. That despite the heartache that they’re currently
feeling, that they need to know that they’re not alone. That there will be hard
times, but the love their dad had for them won’t go away, its warmth will be
with them for the rest of their days and every time they hear a story about
their dad or see something that reminds them of him that it may hurt…but it
also brings him back.
I would tell them to not forget his words, to live their
lives to the fullest and to not forget how hard he fought to try and stay with
them. That his love for them kept him going through an over seven year battle
against a terrible disease. That they were his life.
I’d like to recruit them to join us in keeping the fight
going for him. I hope they remember how hard he fought and how he seemed like
he was never afraid to speak to others in the fight with him and offer an
encouraging word to keep going, and that legacy is something that they can keep
going to help him to keep fighting.
According to the tributes, Stuart Scott was also a man who
loved children. He would go out of his way to talk to them and have actual
conversations with them, and from all accounts he was loved by so many kids for
these efforts. He knew that he was a public figure and he used that to bring
joy to everyone, adults and children alike, which is something we should all
strive for.
A plaque which my Grandpa always had hanging from his wall
when we were kids read:
“That man is a success who has lived well, laughed often and
loved much;
who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of
children;
who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;
who leaves the
world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or
a rescued soul;
who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to
express it;
who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.”
It’s a way I’ve tried to live my life and when I heard of
Stuart’s passing, it was the first thing that came to mind.
Stuart did not lose to cancer. He wanted to win and gave
everything he could to win. He touched so many people in his far too short of
time here and leaves a legacy which will continue to touch others long after we’re
all gone as well…That man…is a success.
None of us know how we’ll die…but we can choose how we live,
and Stuart Scott helped to inspire us to live life to the fullest and that it’s
worth the battle.
So it's that time of year again, time to reflect on our previous year or years and to measure our expectations to our realities. Looking back at this past year it hasn't really been a series of ups and downs like it had been in the past for me but a pretty constant year, and a good one at that. I didn't have any serious negative things happen to me, my family and friends all appear to be healthy and at this point they're all looking good to survive another year and the positives in my life have been pretty spectacular.
This past year marked the birth of a few awesome little ones to some of my closest friends and it has been truly a joy to get to see them become the awesome parents I always knew they would be, and for some, continue to be. It also brought forth the announcement of a few new little ones to join us in 2015, which I truly cant wait to meet. It may even require me to finally make that trip to Arizona I've been promising for years!
2014 also saw a resurgence of this little endeavor called Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons. I fell short of the 52 blog posts I had hoped for by about 12, but still, that's far more than I had ever done and after 40 posts in one year I still enjoy doing it and occasionally we even bring in a reader or two.
Looking back at my new year's resolution post from a year ago I certainly didn't complete everything I had hoped to in this past year, but I had somme pretty amazing experiences, met some extraordinary people and have somehow been able to turn the massive amount of what could be mundane days that make up a year into one extended learning experience that undoubtedly has taught me a number of life lessons as well as has left me a better person.
One of the coolest things that happened for the blog this year was that we have coaxed a consistent contributor into the fray with Mike Braget. I know he must be somewhat in for the long haul with us as we even made his Christmas card this year! I know I had mentioned that I wanted to convince a celebrity to blog with us this year but I feel like its an even cooler experience to have Mike write a post from a hammock in Mexico!
Speaking of writing from Mexico...
My first post of 2014 was written from my desk at my house with just me and a glass of Jameson. It was a great experience and a post that looked towards the future without any real sentiment for where the year would bring me. As I sit here on my veranda in Playa Del Carmen overlooking the fantastic pool where I have just spent a good portion of my day enjoying Banana Daiquiris pool side I can honestly say that looking back 365 days there is no way I thought this is how I would be spending my new years 2015.
I spent most of 2013 trying to make up for a poor summer where we put far more money into our business than we ever had as well as some other poor financial decisions. I was pretty much flat broke living pay check to pay check and having to borrow money from my sister just to make it through the tax season.
We still didn't have a block buster year for our summer business but we did make enough to actually receive a pay check this year. We lost all of the month of June to rain, but when our crowds started to come back in July and August we dealt with far more families than ever before and really started to love what we do again. Even if we had simply broke even or not lost nearly as much as the previous year but still got to deal with these amazing people, it would have been worth it.
But we did make a little money, and after a bad couple years for me, my sister decided it was important that we take a vacation together. My brother, Ryan, had already booked a trip with his girlfriend over the same time period that we were going so we undoubtedly miss him on this trip, but it has been exactly what I think we all needed.
This escape to Mexico has been super relaxing (except for the near death experience on our trip here) and has led to a series of days spent sipping Banana Daiquiris and other frozen cocktails by the pool. Fun fact, when you spend your whole day day drinking, you tend to have pretty early nights. Our biggest worry for tonight is actually making it all the way to midnight! Our latest night so far was last night where Joe and I forced ourselves to stay up until 11:30! It helped that we met some new friends from Texas who were a lot younger than us, but day drinking, it appears, has the same effect on all of us!
This trip was just what the doctor ordered. It's a trip where we get to be together as a family (at least partially) in a situation where we aren't working. We probably spend more time together than any other siblings our age but those hours are almost exclusive to work, this is play, this is relaxation...this is quality family time.
So as this is the last blog of 2014 I'm not really going to delve into what I hope to accomplish in 2015, I just wanted to touch base with you as a recap of the year that was and say that it has been a good year for me as well. I'm not sure where I'm going from here, but I know where I am today...and today, my friends, is a great day.
Happy New Year from all of us at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons! We hope you have a fantastic night ringing in the new year with the ones you love, and don't forget to have yourself a daiquiri or two to ring it in!
We're flying high over Saint Louis, MO with Americas hottest family, and we're all about to die.
Let's just say we had a bit of an experience with our flight to Cancun Mexico...
My dad and I took off for Minneapolis on Christmas day so that we could spend a day with y sister and brother-in-law at their place before we took off on our trip to Playa Del Carmen in Mexico. The roads were perfect on the way down there and there was pretty much no snow left in Minnesota at this point although we did come across some fog in areas.
We got to my sister's house without any problems at all and got to spend that night and the next day pretty much just hanging out with a side step to do some shopping early the day after Christmas. We even got that all done early enough where we were able to avoid the large crowds, got the few items we still needed for our trip (although finding swim wear in December in Minnesota proved to be a chore!) and were back to the house by around 9:30am! We spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies such as the classic holiday film, Die Hard, and just attempted to get completely into relaxation mode for our flight and trip which we had to get up early for the next day.
Our flight was scheduled to take off at 8:50am and with it being an international flight we wanted to get to the airport by around 6:50am...so of course we got hit with a bit of a winter storm that night. I woke up around 4am to the sound of my sister out shoveling her side walks and went up to see that although we had missed out on a white Christmas, the snow had arrived just in time to possibly cause us some problems to get the heck out of Dodge!
Luckily my sister and her husband recently purchased a Jeep so we weren't too worried about navigating the highways to the airport, but we were a bit worried about other drivers as well as whether or not the plane would be delayed due to the current conditions.
We got to the airport with plenty of time to get checked in then we stopped at one of the airport watering holes to get some cocktails because everyone knows that once you pass through airport security, you are officially on vacation. So we go to this restaurant/bar and it being 7:30 or so in the morning, my dad didn't feel up for a drink, but Steph, Joe, and I ordered mimosas at a busy counter and the girl poured them for us drop them off and said, "$41.13." I figured she must have been talking to the group next to us and when I looked at their tab it was that number so when she came back I said: "I'd like to pay for these drinks please, how much were they?"
Her: "$41.13."
Me: "Holy shit! Well, here you go."
So needless to say, we were getting pretty excited to get out of the airport and to our all inclusive resort!
We got a notice saying that our plane would be delayed 15 minutes but considering the outside conditions we felt like that wasn't bad at all! We boarded the plane at 8:15am and were now scheduled to depart at 9am. Everyone got loaded up pretty quickly and we were all set to go, we pulled onto the tarmac and then were informed that due to heavy traffic in Cancun as well as the need to do some de-icing we would now not be taking off until a little after 10am...yet we got to stay in the plane...for an hour and 20 minutes...like sardines. Why we needed to get on the plane when we did, I'll never know, but I had a good book with me and I just decided to make the best out of a bad situation.
So 10am arrives and we're headed for take-off, finally. It's a pretty smooth takeoff and we are finally on our way to our all inclusive vacation! about an hour and a half into our flight the captain comes on over the PA system and says: "You may have noticed that we have turned around. We got a crack in our windshield so we are headed back to Minneapolis where we'll try to arrange another plane for you. The second pane is intact and we feel like we'll be fine to make the trip rather than landing in Saint Louis."
Things were starting to register with the passengers and most of us were waiting for him to say, just joking! But it never came. Soon people were starting to get angry that we were turning around and I was sitting there thinking to myself...he did just say that we got a crack in the windshield of our plane right? The thing that is carrying us traveling around 300mph or so however high above the ground? So yeah, we're all going to die today. But, I had that book so I just said, well, I'll read my book and whatever happens happens. The lady a few seats ahead of us was celebrating her 80th birthday by flying all of her family to Mexico for a vacation and after talking to her a bit she just showed us her bracelet witch said, "It is what it is." Which summed up the situation perfectly.
We probably should have landed in Saint Louis, but by traveling back to Minneapolis (if we made it) we would have a better chance at still getting a plane to take us to Cancun sometime that day. So, I guess they figured it was worth the risk.
We arrived back in Minneapolis safely and as we were departing the plane we got a glimpse into the cockpit where the windshield could certainly be considered to be cracked. I would have listed it more as shattered but whatever, we made it home safe.
Once we got back into the MSP airport I text my brother and buddy and told them: "Well, we're back in MSP." and then went ahead and filled them in on our traveling escapades to that point. The good news was that they had secured another plane for us with a windshield and all the other bells and whistles and they thought we should be able to take off at 2pm. We landed back in MSP around 12:15 so the turnaround was pretty darn impressive!
The flight actually took off at 2:10pm but we had a good flight this go around and made it to Mexico around 6:30pm. We got through customs pretty quick and then got our taxi lined up and got ourselves a couple of cervezas and now we've been drunk for two days....
But the trip to Mexico ended up being pretty exciting and probably a story we'll remember for quite a while, but the thing I'll probably remember most is how some people were complaining about being late for the start of our vacation, and some realizing that there wasn't anything we could do about it other than pray we made it home safe. The birthday girl taught us all a valuable life lesson that day with a simple bracelet that just read, "It is what it is."
