Stuart Scott

I hadn’t really thought about it for quite some time, I remember watching the touching tribute during the ESPY’s and I remember being very moved by the Jimmy V award winner’s speech, but Stuart Scott was a young man, a person who was always there and would undoubtedly win his battle with cancer. I didn’t really think too much more about it…until the morning of January 4^th, 2015.

My dad and I were just preparing to leave my sister’s place in the cities to begin our journey back home after a nice vacation together. I had just stepped back in from outside when my sister told me the news, Stuart Scott had died. It was a weird feeling that came over me and I think I shared with the others in the room, we didn’t know Scott, but in a way we did…and we were all going to be sad that he was no longer with us.

I went to the gym when I got home to play some basketball and spoke with one of my great friends about this legendary ESPN anchor. He said that he had seen the announcement and that he had actually shed a tear (I certainly had as well). He put the sentiment of many in a good perspective, he said, “You know it’s kind of strange, I didn’t know the guy at all but he’s been a part of my life for like the last fifteen years. I don’t really know who he was as a person, but every single day I would listen to Stuart Scott for one program or another.”

It’s crazy how a personality you know no other way than through a program you watch can have such an impact on your life. But if you have seen any of the coverage since his passing, you can see that it may not be the same for every television figure that you run across, that some people just possess that quality no matter where you find them, and that Stuart Scott, by all accounts…was special.

I was saddened by the loss in a lot of the same ways that my friend was, but until last year’s ESPY’s…that was the only thing I knew about Stuart Scott. I wasn’t aware that he had been fighting the same battle my mom had once fought and I wasn’t aware that there was more to this person other than his dynamic personality that truly shone through his television persona. But then I watched the ESPY’s and saw a glimpse at this man’s battle and also who he was as an individual.

 

Then I heard him talk about his battle…

 

And I saw the essence of The V Foundation once again personified, as I had seen through Jim Valvano and I had seen through my mom’s battle. The will to not give up, to keep fighting as hard as they could right until the end because life truly is worth fighting for. I was moved by this man and how he was not just fighting this disease, but how he was living his life. He was not letting the disease define him, but was living with cancer.

I spent a great deal of last night watching tribute videos of Scott as well as re-watching these videos from the ESPY’s…and I cried. I watched more this morning that were televised through ESPN, videos of his co-workers and friends talking about the impact he had on their profession, the sports world, and most importantly, their lives.

Later on my dad stopped by the house to chat and have a cup of coffee and once again he and I spoke a little about Stuart Scott and I got to the point where it was hard for me to talk about it. I often get caught up in the fight against cancer because it’s so near and dear to my and my family’s hearts. Losing a loved one to cancer is never an easy thing and when talking about my mom, I always hate to say that she lost her fight against cancer. It’s just never felt right. She fought her ass off to beat the disease, to survive not for herself but for us and because life is worth living, so when she did pass away from cancer it didn’t really feel like she lost. We all feel a loss without her in our daily lives anymore, but she fought like hell and if there had been a way to truly win the battle, I can’t help but think that she would have.

That’s why I lost it this morning. I remembered my mom’s fight, and I’ve spent theses past nine years trying to figure out a better way to describe her battle, rather than saying that she lost it…then I heard Stuart Scott give his speech. I heard the words come out of this man that I had been searching for for the better part of a decade, “When you die, that doesn’t mean you lose to cancer. You beat cancer by how you live, why you live and the manner in which you live.”

Here at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons we've talked a lot about heroes and I found it kind of funny to see that one of Stuart's favorite "heroes," Jack Bauer (Keifer Sutherland's 24 Character) presented him with the award, and he mentions it because it seems like a big deal to him. What's funny about that to me, is that it appears that he doesn't understand that there are two men standing on that stage, and that one played a hero on TV, while the other exemplified everything we believe a hero to be.

One of my favorite quotes of all time was something Vince Lombardi once said, “Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to win is.” I’ve always associated this quote with sports and have always found it a great way to inspire young athletes when I’ve worked with them throughout my life. But it wasn’t until after I heard Stuart Scott’s speech that I started to understand that this quote goes beyond sports, that it immortalized the same sentiment that Scott portrayed through his speech and the great Jim Valvano had done with his 20 some years earlier, that fighting the good fight and giving it your all…win or lose, results in victory.

Scott went on to say, “So live. Live. Fight like hell. And when you get too tired to fight, lay down and rest, and let somebody else fight for you.” While he was still with us he spoke of the family and friends that stayed by his side and reminded him to stay in the fight at his lowest points. So he kept fighting, just like Jim Valvano, and just like our mom.

All of these people, as well as so many others that I’ve known who have passed away from cancer continued to fight right through the end…but now they’ve reached their resting point and can fight no longer…so now we must continue our fight for them.

Each year a fantastic group of people join us to continue our fight against cancer through Hoops for Hope and The V Foundation for Cancer Research. If we hadn’t continued our mother’s fight we would never have found the amazing organization that we are now a part of. We wouldn’t have been inspired by her and Valvano to help continue to fight to find a cure and I may have never found the words that represent how I felt about my mother’s fight, through another warrior in the battle, Stuart Scott.

He would have just been a Sports Center anchor to me, I may have still shed a tear for him as my friend had, but I wouldn’t share this connection with him like I feel I now do.

One of the things that bothers me more than anything is that after we lose someone to cancer the family is left behind to try and pick up the pieces. I know this is a terrible thing to have to go through because me and my family have done it, and continue to do it every day. If I could I would love to talk to Stuart’s daughters and tell them that I’m here for them if they need someone to talk to. That despite the heartache that they’re currently feeling, that they need to know that they’re not alone. That there will be hard times, but the love their dad had for them won’t go away, its warmth will be with them for the rest of their days and every time they hear a story about their dad or see something that reminds them of him that it may hurt…but it also brings him back.

I would tell them to not forget his words, to live their lives to the fullest and to not forget how hard he fought to try and stay with them. That his love for them kept him going through an over seven year battle against a terrible disease. That they were his life.

I’d like to recruit them to join us in keeping the fight going for him. I hope they remember how hard he fought and how he seemed like he was never afraid to speak to others in the fight with him and offer an encouraging word to keep going, and that legacy is something that they can keep going to help him to keep fighting.

According to the tributes, Stuart Scott was also a man who loved children. He would go out of his way to talk to them and have actual conversations with them, and from all accounts he was loved by so many kids for these efforts. He knew that he was a public figure and he used that to bring joy to everyone, adults and children alike, which is something we should all strive for.

A plaque which my Grandpa always had hanging from his wall when we were kids read:

“That man is a success who has lived well, laughed often and loved much;

who has gained the respect of intelligent men and the love of children;

who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

who leaves the world better than he found it, whether by an improved poppy, a perfect poem or a rescued soul;

who never lacked appreciation of earth’s beauty or failed to express it;

who looked for the best in others and gave the best he had.”

It’s a way I’ve tried to live my life and when I heard of Stuart’s passing, it was the first thing that came to mind.

Stuart did not lose to cancer. He wanted to win and gave everything he could to win. He touched so many people in his far too short of time here and leaves a legacy which will continue to touch others long after we’re all gone as well…That man…is a success.

None of us know how we’ll die…but we can choose how we live, and Stuart Scott helped to inspire us to live life to the fullest and that it’s worth the battle.

Rest in Peace, Stuart.