Not that I am overly intelligent, but I feel that life and
my education have provided me with a pretty broad range of experiences. Which,
coupled with my at least average IQ provide me with an average, or slightly
above, level of intelligence. I have traveled. I do read. I watch what used to
be educational TV (thanks for selling out Discovery). I know how to write using
MLA format. I have studied early English literature (as an elective no less)
and even earned a master’s degree (through a not so prestigious on-line
college). I can wash my own clothes, sew my buttons back on my shirts, read a
map (a lost art), and do simple auto repair (you can learn anything on Youtube).
Hold on. I forgot something….
That’s better. I almost wrote my first contribution without
an alcoholic beverage.
Anyway, as I was saying, I consider myself to be a fairly
educated individual and yet there are definitely things that I do not get. The
most recent of these is the “That is all…” phenomena. I was reading through my “friends’”
mostly useless, sometime annoying, definitely a waste of time Facebook posts (I
agree with most teenagers that Facebook is definitely not cool anymore) when I
came across a post made by one of my “friends.” “It’s cold outside. That is all.”
Most of my friends (notice this time “friends” is not in quotations –
indicating that these are my real-life, I would actually hang out with friends)
would say that I tend to be rather oblivious to a lot of things. If it is not
something that directly affects me or something I am interested in, I take
little notice of it. So initially when I read the comment little or no brain activity
took place. However, as I have learned through reading and studying, often our subconscious
brain will continue to process things that are unusual or out of place. Apparently,
my subconscious brain took offense to this simple statement. I later became conscious
of this thought from my subconscious brain as I made another day-dream encouraging
drive from my place of employment to pick up my son. This happens a lot during
these drives. I think there is some kind of magic subconscious-conscious
force-field on my route. As I consciously studied this simple statement made by
a person I haven’t had an actual conversation with since the mid-point of my
life, I realized more and more that it was pissing me off. Mostly I take
offense to the fact that the “poster” apparently does not give me, and other
at-least average intelligent Facebook users, credit for knowing the meaning of
a period when one appears at the end of a sentence. “That is all,” seems rather
redundant to me. I assumed that when no other words appeared after the initial
statement was made, that was all. I
don’t really need to be told this.
“That is all” ranks right up there with “boom” for me. And
what the hell is that all about? “Boom!” Your statement was so awesome that it
blew me away? Really? Doubtful. Besides if it really was that great, you wouldn't
need to point out that it was that great. The statement itself should speak for…um…itself.
Guess I’m no writer. But at least I withheld from writing a trendy, annoying,
needless phrase.
This experience has helped me realize at least a few things
(I’m sure my subconscious is working on more as I write this). First I am
thankful that I don’t follow trends quickly. I have missed several fads; hammer
pants, rolled jeans, slap bracelets, tattoos, etc. By the time I decide to buy
into a fad it is no longer a fad. It is mainstream and has stood the test of
time. Second, my subconscious is much smarter than my conscious. Third, I
really am getting older. Things that I would not have noticed 10 years ago piss
me off to no end now. I have less and less patience for annoying and unnecessary
actions. Especially if the main purpose is to show how smart, great, awesome,
clever, intelligent, important, blah, blah, blah, someone or something is. I
might have to quit watching NFL football forever. Does anyone in that league
ever make a play and run back to the huddle. Good grief. A team is down by 45
points and a linebacker gets a sack and he believes he is the greatest linebacker
to ever play, or so his actions would make it seem. Dude, your team is getting “a
good whoopin” and you haven’t made a single tackle.
I did take the time to research
(because that is what I learned to do through my education) the origin of the
phrase “That is all.” And although I can respect that Darth Vader may have made
the phrase popular, I would like to remind the general public that you are not Darth
Vader. No one is, so stop trying.
My beverage is nearly gone and my conscious is telling me I
am feeling like I have had a chance to vent and get this off my chest. I wonder
if it is the blogging or the drinking. Either way, to those who avoid such
statements as “That is all,” cheers.
Mr. Dolores
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