BDandLL (it's a medical condition)

It’s a Banana Daiquiri world, we’re all just trying to make our way through it…

Slowly but surely the Banana Daiquiri and Life Lesson crew is taking over the world…or at least that’s what’s happening in my head…so maybe they’re just taking over my head? Funny thought, what if there really weren’t any other contributors and I just had all of these random personalities?! Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Wouldn’t that just blow your fricken mind?!!!! You’d be all like, “WHAT’S IN THE BOX?!” (A little se7en reference for those of you that didn’t get it…come on people, keep up).

Now, what I mean by “we’re taking over the world,” is that it seems like more and more people are starting to find our blog. We still may never be award winning writers by any means, but it seems like people are starting to follow us a little bit more and more importantly, people are joining us and using Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons as a way to get their voice out there. We get more contributors (or voices in my head, depending on your definition of schizophrenia) every week and so far I’m personally enjoying the diversity of the blog. It gives some people an opportunity to publish some of their thoughts in a somewhat anonymous way, that is until I post a link to the newest blog on their Facebook wall and write something like, amazing blog President Clinton…crap, you guys weren’t supposed to know he was writing with us…

END OF TRANSMISSION

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Alright, I’m back…and I’m supposed to say that I meant George Clinton, we cool now? Can I continue? Thanks.

 

Many of you aren’t aware that we also have a Twitter account attached to this blog…I’m not very creative in 160 characters or less but I figured in order to build a readership online, you have to take full advantage of every tool out there. I’ve done my best to set up the other BDandLL-ers with the account information for that as well, but so far they’re only good for the occasional blog…I swear, our staff is so lazy…I should really dock their pay…hear that guys, you owe me money now!

So if you’re not into the whole blogging thing but are an expert Tweeter…Twitterer…erer…user of Twitter (nailed it) then let me know and I can put you to work (without pay even!).

Wednesday night I actually got us signed up for a “Snap Chat” account as well…now this thing I’m still not sure how to use, but if you got an invite from BDandLL…yep, that’s us! I’m not even sure it’s something we can share, and I’m sure I’ll just mostly send pictures of bananas but it’s a tool and we shall use it at our disposal! I feel like people will be happier and happier with my work as I continue to dwindle it down. Right now I think most people are like…Christ, these blogs are too long and are pretty terrible. Then with Twitter they’ll be all like, Christ, still too much out of him. Now with Snap Chat they’ll get a sweet picture of a banana and they’ll be like, “nailed it.”

 

So, let’s hope.

Not much of a blog this Friday, but I have the Fargo basketball tournament on my mind and it’s really hard to concentrate when I know I need to put forth some pretty sweet moves this weekend, and also play basketball. I’m pretty nervous though, because our resident DD for the past 9 months or so is about due to have her baby…so that sucks for us, but in some far off way I guess it’s kind of a good things too?! Just kidding Kristen! Can’t wait for the 30^th Birthday Party Miracle Baby to arrive! And now I’ve probably lost another friend…ho…hum…

Happy Friday everyone! Have a great weekend!

BDandLL Tackles The Shermaniac

So I just got done with one of the worst bus routes that I’ve ever had to drive…the roads were simply terrible, I just got home and poured myself a nice Jamie Jump-Up and tomorrow I’m going to go and plow some roads! Who am I talking about?! Crabtree! Don’t you ever talk about me; I’m the best driver in the game! Thus begins my rant about sportsmanship and setting a good example for our ute…or youth.

One of these days I’m actually going to get to that customer service blog I keep saying I’m going to write but life keeps throwing these other very important lessons my way that I feel need to be addressed. The customer service blog will come from me some day, it’s pretty much what I got a degree in so it may actually be the one thing I have something to say about that would actually be along my lines of “expertise” if you will…but I like to try new things, like being good at writing about sportsmanship, so let’s give it a go!

If you are unaware of Richard Sherman, the unbelievably talented cornerback for the Seattle Seahawks, then here is a clip for you of the amazing post-game interview he gave after breaking up a pass in the NFC Title game which sent his team into the Super Bowl. The receiver he was defending was another amazing player named Michael Crabtree:

This spurred a whole world of backlash (including this blog), most of which was negative but Yahoo Sports put together an article claiming that Sherman’s antics were right up there with what Tim Tebow was always doing, which was talking about his faith. The sad fact is that this is kind of the message that a lot of the professional athletes are sending. Trash talking is apparently part of the game. All of the good players are supposed to be confident individuals and are supposed to not only let everybody know how good they are, they’re also supposed to break down the guy in the other uniform…isn’t there some sort of anti-bullying thing we’re trying to accomplish these days? What kind of message do players like Richard Sherman send to our youth? Here’s a video of our youth, reenacting the video.

We can’t put all the blame on Richard Sherman, though. I spent some time this week attending some high school ball games and jotting down some incidences that occurred and how sportsmanship was handled. The first game that I went to was a boys basketball game where there were some extremely crazy parents in the stands who were not only yelling at the referees but also the players, coaches and anyone really that would listen. I’m kind of old school in the thought that sports can teach us a lot of things about team work, helping others, and how hard work can pay off, so I guess I don’t quite understand where bitching about everything that doesn’t go your way came into play? As far as I’m concerned these crazy parents are what turns kids into individuals such as Richard Sherman.

Now I keep attacking Sherman here and a lot of you that maybe saw some of the other coverage of him may think that I’m going overboard here. You may say that the guy has a lot of good qualities too, you may even buy into the bull crap that he’s been spouting since about how he was caught in the heat of the moment and that’s not really who he is…well here’s another video for you from before this incident:

And a Facebook meme about his Stanford achievements:

 

What a lot of people seem to forget is that professional athletes sometimes have a tendency to cheat at high school and college. I’m not saying that’s the case here, but another thing that a lot of people may not be aware of is that Stanford allows a lot of individuals that are not the “smartest in the nation” into their school. They make exceptions for people who are really good at other things, such as sports, so that the average really smart individual doesn’t get so discouraged when they realize that they are not stacking up to the upper echelon of Stanford. That’s a fun fact I learned from reading the book, David and Goliath. It also proves to be a great way for the NFL and other professional sports teams to say that they have athletes that appear to be smarter than they really might be, such as Richard Sherman.

Regardless of this “Catch 22” Richard Sherman did still graduate from Stanford with a Master’s degree, an amazing accomplishment no matter who you are, but having an education doesn’t necessarily make you educated. Some of the smartest people I know share a common trait with Richard Sherman…they’re assholes. Sherman can be, and might be, the best player at his position in the entire NFL. He can be a Stanford Graduate. He can donate to charity and help out his old school. But, put the guy in front of a camera and let him show you who he really is, and every time I’ve seen him he comes across the same…as a jerk who I would be ashamed to have any kid aspire to be like. All the talent in the world doesn’t make you a better person. I’m not a religious guy by any means, but if one day I have to sit at the pearly gates and await judgment I’d like to think that the way I’ve lived my life, and how I treated others would be of far greater importance than where I went to school and how good I was at a game.

I love sports. If I can stop biting through my lip while playing basketball, I’d like to think that I’ll keep playing them as long as I possibly can. I currently play in a city league basketball league where we run across guys from time to time who think they might be the world’s greatest athlete. Someone needs to tell these guys that they’re playing in Grand Forks, ND at a City League. But they run their mouths, talk about how good they are and try to bring down the other guys that are out there playing. Guys who are still playing mostly because they like the camaraderie of playing. Who want to get out of the house at least one night a week and spend some time sweating up against some other dudes…wait, that came out wrong…guys who want to get their heart rate pumping and shed some baby fat…totally saved it. The last thing I want to have to put up with is some jackass who gets off on being a dick.

I will certainly get cocky when we’re playing against a team that we know, especially if I’m playing absolutely terrible. I do it in jest because I think most people think that to truly be cocky like that is absolutely ridiculous and makes you look like a complete fool. One of my favorite scenes from any sports movie is from Coach Carter. After his team starts to get good, they start to get cocky on the court. They run their mouths and are degrading the other team, so in practice the coach has them run a play and when they score an easy shot off of it he has this response:

There’s no place for this crap in sports, from the players or the fans. The sad thing is the same people on the court/field/etc. who are obviously a bunch of jerks are someday going to reproduce and what do you think the result of that will be? I know it’s a classic chicken and egg scenario but when you have players such as Richard Sherman promoting this way of playing on top of everything else…everybody loses.

The sad thing is, until that game…I really had no clue who Richard Sherman was. I guess he was voted into the Pro Bowl the year before, but if they’re not a Viking I could really care less who become an All-Pro. I’m sure he’s really big in Seattle, but he’s obviously done more than me in his 24 years on this planet so I guess I should just try to be more like him…or I could try to be more like someone who plays the same game with much more class, Peyton Manning. I’m sure somewhere along the line he’s done several things that he has regretted but you put this man in front of a camera and you think, role model. He has so much respect for the game that he actually writes hand written letters to guys retiring that he really respects. Now Richard Sherman is young and his legacy is still building, but as Peyton Manning gets closer and closer to putting a cap on his career it’s pretty safe to say that he will go down as one of the greatest to ever play his position. EVER. Not one year, or two…but ever. It’s a point that’s hard to argue when you look at his whole body of work, and the man did it with class…he also graduated from Tennessee, which isn’t as prestigious as Stanford, but I think he’s doing alright for himself.

So in summary I guess you could conclude that the life lesson we should learn from Richard Sherman is that anyone can be an asshole. You can be well educated, an unbelievable athlete, and even a charitable person…but asshole is still asshole. What really gets me is that the NFL season started by suspending a player who was bullying another player on his own team (Incognito), now it ends with another bully headed to the Super Bowl as a representative of this proud sport.

This post is brought to you by the letter N. (Hint: 'N' is for naptime...)

Free time. Everyone needs it. Am I right?!?

Turns out when you have two young, very active kids the free time you once knew of evaporates into thin air. Or maybe it evaporates into diapers. Yes, it must most definitely evaporates into diapers…

Pre-kids, “Manny” and I had loads of time to ourselves. We had hobbies. We traveled. We took naps. It’s funny how you can take all of that for granted the minute you become responsible for a tiny human. For those of us that have either already become parents, or are soon to become parents, we’ve all heard the “sleep/travel/eat at restaurants/insert other non-kid friendly blurb here” while you can bit. And I’m not gunna blow smoke, a lot of that is true.

What people tend to leave out of that equation is that after you’ve had kids you’ll be amazed at what you can accomplish in a short amount of time. A typical (weekend) day in the “Garner” household unfolds a lot like this:

6:30-7:00am - Get woken up by either kid #1 notifying us that it is starting to get light outside, thus meaning it is “morning time”, or awake to kid #2 jumping (and I do mean jumping) in his crib yelling “GO! GO! GO!” as loud as tiny-human possible. (I may have overdone the caffeine intake just a tad while he was cooking. My bad…)

7:30am - Eat breakfast. Proceed to spend the next hour cleaning the breakfast off the floor.

9:00am - Break up first (or second... or third...) fight between #1 & #2.

9:30am - Read books, play games, build castles out of blocks, knock down said block castles, rebulid castles, change poopy diapers. You get the gist.

10:00am - Complete load #3,762 of laundry since waking up.

Noonish - Feed the wild animals again and finish cleaning the remnants of lunch off the floor and children (and sometimes even off Manny).

12:30pm - NAPTIME! For the kids… You didn’t think I’d say for me, did you?

Word...

This is where I find that us parents really shine. Naptime usually equals a few hours hours of what we call “getting $h*t done” time. We basically turn into tasmanian devils and complete projects like nobody’s business. I can get more stuff done in one hour than the pre-kids me would have gotten done all day. That’s right, you can call me “Mommy Macgyver”...

After naptime comes to a close, it’s basically the morning shift revisited. And once each of the mini humans bedtimes rolls around? Well it sometimes calls for a delicious banana daiquiri (or two), followed by an early bedtime. I’m no idiot -- I know how to use my free time to it’s fullest!

However, after seeing “Mason’s” post on how to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew, I’m thinking this is next up on my free time to-do list… 

Whatever you do, don’t count me out BD&LL-ers! I’m still here for the par-tay (and I’m a high-class broad… take that Gretchen WIlson), but my posts will have to wait for laundry load #3,763 to finish.

Baby it's Cold Outside

I'm sure you're all thinking, sure, the guys says he's going to do a new blog every Friday and then he doesn't even make it two weeks in a row! Well, for your information...I did have this blog done yesterday but we had an opportunity to do a new fundraiser for our charity, Hoops for Hope, and although I love BDandLL, Hoops for Hope and a cure for cancer will always trump it! Also...I know how you all are such visual readers so I needed a little extra time to put in some sweet pictures...

Everything Irie...those are some pretty sexy Brumwell's!

I was going to do my next blog on customer service here, but today gave me a little different idea. I was outside earlier today, the sun was shining and I was thinking to myself…it sure is a nice day! I then proceeded to jump into my car and saw that my thermometer said that the outside temperature was negative 13 degrees (that’s Fahrenheit for our Canadian readers…about negative 25 Celsius).

I then started thinking about some of the comments I’ve seen on Facebook and other social networking sites, when people post photos of the temperature being something like negative 30 without the wind chill…most comments go something along the lines of, “yeah, we get it. It’s cold.” But that’s kind of what brought me to want to approach this topic. I think unless you live in one of the very cold states like Minnesota or North Dakota, you simply don’t get the cold. When it was negative 13 degrees today, I was out in my sweat pants and sweatshirt and I considered it to be a nice day. If you know me, I’m considered to be one of the biggest babies when it comes to cold temperature. I also just bought new traction running shoes so that I could start jogging outside again because I felt like it was starting to get nice enough to do that.

This is nothing, but you all know my thoughts on NPR...

To many, the people in the cold states are crazy for living here, but I honestly love Minnesota. I love that we have four very distinct seasons, even if winter is the longest one. That makes us tough skinned and ready for just about anything. Our summers are blistering hot, our springs are generally as wet as you can get (be it rain, or more than likely a few late snow storms), and our falls, albeit short, are beautiful and everything that one may think of when that season comes to mind.

Despite all of these “harsh” conditions we also happen to have the reputation as the hardest working, friendliest people in the United States. We don’t generally take circumstances or each other for granted and we have a general like for our fellow man. There are always exceptions to this, but for the most part I think people from around here generally have pretty good heads on their shoulders and hearts in their chests...or on their sleeves! 

The other thing I was thinking about while pondering our climate and why we chose to live here was that we generally have a reputation for being overweight compared to much of the rest of the country. As I was contemplating my run today in negative 13 degree weather I thought to myself…well no shit? You have to be extremely dedicated, or brain frozen to get out and get exercise during the winter months in the northern states. But still we find ways to do it. Be it cross country skiing, snow shoeing, snowmobiling (surprisingly a pretty good work out), or even just going out in the negative x degree weather to go for a walk or a run (which with the snow and ice, is never an easy endeavor). Sure, you could always spend your time at the gym running in a stationary position on a treadmill, which many of us still do, but it’s not only less boring to run outside in nature, but the sheer beauty of it makes it so much more rewarding, and from experience I can say that I get a far better workout running outside then on a treadmill.

So I say, if we have one fit guy or girl to four or five Californians, Texans, or Floridians…then we’re doing pretty darn well for ourselves! Physical fitness is one of the things that they say that when you’re older you look back and say, I really wish I would have kept in better shape. So, even though we live in the cold states, try and take advantage of the different methods of exercise we have here. I went snow shoeing when it was twenty below during muzzle loader season and I had to stop several times as I was completely winded and sweating my ass off…hopefully literally! Great exercise and a great way to still experience all of the beauty Minnesota winters have to offer!

This blog is starting to sound like an Explore Minnesota campaign, huh? Sure, our company is a part of the organization…but I honestly love our state, so be it!
 

The whole point I was trying to make when I started this blog was that we endure a lot in our state, but we also get to enjoy the splendor of one of the most beautiful and diverse states in the United States. It might be tougher for us to explore our state then some of the others, and you hear of “snowbirds” and other residents trying to escape the cold Minnesota winters all of the time, but after we have our forty or fifty below days, then twenty below or warmer starts to feel pretty darn good. We’re adaptable, thick skinned, and some of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. But, if you see one of us with a Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or whatever source of social media post about how cold it is…run. If we think its cold, it’s fucking cold (and I don’t like to swear…but that’s an actual measurement of coldness for us northerners)!

Here I am. This is 2014.

I’m nursing a Bulleit Bourbon hangover today, the aftermath of a night well spent rehearsing music and eating Friday’s late night happy hour wingies - damn those are good wingies. The 7 a.m. swollen head has receded to just a dull hum thanks to a couple pints of water, 4 ibuprofen and some more sleepy time. But I was bound and determined to get this blog written, so I shall soldier on without my ritualistic alcoholic beverage as a companion; substituting instead some more water and a coke. Need me some caffeine, brothers and sisters! I think many of our readers are beginning to think we are all raging alcoholics - as we should be, we are writers after all - so it’s perhaps a good thing I write this one sober. But warning: Metallica made shitty music when they got sober, just say’n. 

My plan was to write a piece on travel and conquering fear but after reading Mason’s new post (nice bear by the way, do you do Blue Steel?) it made me think of a different direction, or rather steal his direction and do a little someth’n something on 2014  and what I want out of life, or at least what I think I want out of it, for this coming year that we are 11 days into. It also occured to me that as this blog takes on more contributors - which is great - that we need to identify ourselves. I thought of a few different identities that I could use going forward: rubber duck, the dude, el sexy pants, steel magnolia, etc. But I’ve fought off the urge to give myself such a badass moniker and just go with the generic, and horrendously common identity that my parents gave me: Mike. Well, technically Michael but I’m much more into the brevity thing. Some of those who know me well or are from that time and place called the “orange house” refer to me as Mikey. Which is cool too, but if I don’t know you it just sounds weird if you call me that. Plus if you're up on your angelology, Archangel Michael is a healer and the leader of God’s army. Now THAT is badassery! But I digress. On with it then:

Call me Mike, or think of me as Mike, and here is who I am and what I want to squeeze out of 2014:

I like to read a lot. Philosophy, non-fiction, fiction (a lot of Tolkien esque fantasy), the classics, pretty diverse reading list. I have a masters degree in sociology, which I use to be a smartass and look at the world a whole lot differently than most - sometimes that knowledge makes me an asshole. Oh well.

I’m an avid gamer, play a lot of RPGs and strategy games; not really into the whole call of duty craze. Perhaps I’m just scared of getting “pwn’d” by anonymous pre-pubecent 11 year olds telling me they fucked my mom last night - such language kids use these days of the interwebz and online gaming! Damn kids and their MTV.. GET OFF MY LAWN!

I’m closing in on 30 years old and I think it’s scaring me straight into the realization that I need to get a whole lot more shit done in my life that I want to accomplish and I won’t, after all, have all the time in the world to do it. We all understand the technical reality that we won’t live forever, but when you’re in your twenties you certainly live like you will - at least I did. Made me put off doing a lot of stuff, “I can do that later..” sort of thing. I’m an avid procrastinator.

I fancy myself a writer - though the only real pieces I’ve completed are blog posts and the things I did in academia: articles, the standard college papers and my thesis. I have started other pieces of fiction and non-fiction but haven’t gotten very far with them. But I have ideas. Many many ideas.

I’m a bit of a musician. I play guitar, drums and little piano. Guitar mostly and I was in a band for about 6 years where I released (unleashed?) a lot of vigor and hormonal youth. Mostly I like to write music (write songs) but after the band dissolved (there was never really a breakup, we just.. stopped) I have been on an indefinite hiatus from writing and performing music.

So now that you know a little bit more about me, here are my plans on the new year. My aspirations that I jotted down while sitting in the hot tub drinking beer the other night - maybe I really am a raging alcoholic..

●     Average 2 BDandLL posts per month

●     Write “A Treatise for a New Moral Code” - a quasi research and philosophy piece that has been rummaging around my brain.

●     Write the first chapter of what I’m tentatively calling “Insciety” - this one is my ‘magnum opus.’ If you want to hear about it and have the patience, get me drunk one night alone and I’ll tell you all about. You supply the whiskey, I’ll provide the rambling craziness and, the hangover.

●     Average writing 1-2 songs per month

●     Record - release the “Whiskey and the Wolves” EP - this is a music project I’ve started with long time friend, Lucas of “Starving for Gravity” fame.

●     Perform a live show - it’s past due for me to “get back on the horse”

●     Write the first “novelette” of the Whiskey and the Wolves world - yes, I am tossing around ideas for writing fiction based on the music project. Man, I’m starting to sound like a pretentious dick..

●     Return to Arcosanti - god I love this place - both the actual site and the idea of it, google it!

●     Brew a few batches of beer - another hobby that I don’t have the time or money for. Insert also: scuba diving, racing, and fine whiskey collecting.

There they are. My resolutions, though I really despise using that term. What it really comes down to is conquering fear and laziness. Which I wish to explore  further in my next post. But for now, I think this will suffice. Thanks for reading. I wish you all a better, more fulfilling year. Unless you had a really really awesome 2013. Then you can go Fuh.. I mean, keep on keep’n on!

Alas, if you wish a face to the name. Here I am in all my unkempt, hungover, in desperate need of a shave glory 5 minutes after finishing this blog:

What?! What Happened?! Oh. So what's going to happen now?

It’s Friday night, I’m done with my bus route for the week, just got done helping the niece and nephew with a little homework, got them sent away…and low and behold, here’s a bottle of Jameson! Must be a sign that I’m overdue for a new blog! As this is my first blog of the New Year, I’d like to take this opportunity to reflect on my last year and set some goals for the upcoming one…bear with me!

Me with my best "Bear" expression circa 2007

 

2013 wasn’t exactly the year I had planned on. I distinctly remember discussing how the year was going to go down and all the awesome possibilities during New Years 2012/2013 and not one thing I had planned actually happened…which of course makes it a crappy year, right?

I could easily look back at this past year and bitch and complain and look at all the negatives and a lot of people may even agree with me that I had a bad year, but when I really think about it, I had some crappy stuff happen, but it’s over. The first part of my year was pretty awesome, and then I had an unexpected end to the relationship I was in and the worst summer that our business has ever seen. But first looking at the relationship, the girl and I had different opinions on what love should be and when that happens, it’s obviously not meant to be. So what really devastated me at first has really revealed itself to be kind of a godsend. I was really hurt for quite a while, and the crappy summer for our business certainly didn’t help anything along, but as it usually does, time gave me perspective. I can honestly say that I am in a much better place now than I was after we broke up, and when I really think about it…I think I might be in an even better place than when we were together, not that I disliked our situation, I did and still really do care for the girl and truly hope she’s happy, but we just weren’t right together. She has an amazing family which I truly miss as well, but if we hadn’t been together I never would have gotten to know them, and I truly am thankful for the opportunity to get to know them.

Once I was able to pull my head out of my ass and realize that you can’t do anything but accept your past, I was able to have a pretty decent remainder of the year. Overall, I might even say that about 7 out of the 12 months were pretty darn good! That over 50%, much better than my shooting percentage or even the number of years I attended college and had passing grades (I did graduate finally with a 4.0 though! Thank God grades don’t transfer, only credits!)!

Once I did get back on track I was able to do something else that really made the year a lot better for me as well…that’s getting this blog going again, and better than ever!

Are you through making your pretentious and derogatory comments?

Fine. I’ll continue…We really got this baby going again about the time I started to really move on from the crap I couldn’t control in my life anymore and really, I think writing and organizing other contributors really helped me through everything.

We did more blogs in the final three months of 2013 than we had done in the previous two years! We gained a few more contributors, got a sweet new logo (Thank You Kelsey!!!) and I think that we all were able to learn a few things from the posts…or at least enjoyed some fine daiquiris (the secret is pineapple infused rum)!

2014 has just begun and I’m trying to learn from last year’s mishaps and I’m trying to not set my goals too high…just kidding! I learned a lot from last year, but not dreaming big was and never will be something I learn. Life’s short and we all only get one crack at it. We all make mistakes and have regrets but we learn from them and move forward. When you have trouble moving forward…buy a blender, and some bananas, and some pineapple infused rum…and sit down and let us tell you a little something about life…then do the opposite (but drink the daiquiris…you must drink the daiquiris).

So, my goals for Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons, and myself for 2014 will be lofty! I want us to get more contributors producing better and better blogs. We’re awesome writers (and modest), which is what our readers expect and deserve, and in 2014 we’re just going to get even better! Our first blog this year was already from a new contributor so we’re well on our way! I’d also love to get a celebrity to blog with us! I’ve been in contact with, “The Todd” from Scrubs and I have a suspicion Rainn Wilson wouldn’t completely dismiss us either!

We’re also working on a clothing line…both of our readers are pumped, I’m sure! But once our book comes out (it’ll be mostly pictures…possibly some tasteful nudes of bananas) I’m sure BDandLL will be the next Douglas Bubbletrousers! On a side note…don’t Google “nude bananas,” unless you want to be scarred for life.

  
 

 

I’m thinking the book might just be a coffee table book with drawings such as this:

 

But still, it’ll be a game changer.

I just finished reading, “Steal Like an Artist” and one of the things they tell you is to, “write the book you want to read.” I love to read whatever I can get my hands on. I’ll also watch just about anything and listen to just about anything. Some people may accuse me of having bad taste, but I’d like to think that I just prefer diversity…and that I appreciate the art and craft of things. Our blog is the blog I’d read. I do it every day. It’s diverse. It’s funny…sometimes, it’s a bit edgy at times and there really truly are some life lessons we can all learn from.

I promise 2014 will be an awesome year for BDandLL and our followers! My goal is to post a new blog from me every Friday throughout the year. The rest of the contributors are more than welcome to set a day and attempt and do the same thing, and if there are any of our readers that just feel like they have something to say sometime, and want to do it somewhat anonymously…let me know! Safety in numbers, right?!

Your 2014 and mine will be what we make of it. I hope it’s awesome for all of us!!!

Happy New Year from all of us at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons!!!

Things I don’t get…

Not that I am overly intelligent, but I feel that life and my education have provided me with a pretty broad range of experiences. Which, coupled with my at least average IQ provide me with an average, or slightly above, level of intelligence. I have traveled. I do read. I watch what used to be educational TV (thanks for selling out Discovery). I know how to write using MLA format. I have studied early English literature (as an elective no less) and even earned a master’s degree (through a not so prestigious on-line college). I can wash my own clothes, sew my buttons back on my shirts, read a map (a lost art), and do simple auto repair (you can learn anything on Youtube).

Hold on. I forgot something….

That’s better. I almost wrote my first contribution without an alcoholic beverage.

Anyway, as I was saying, I consider myself to be a fairly educated individual and yet there are definitely things that I do not get. The most recent of these is the “That is all…” phenomena. I was reading through my “friends’” mostly useless, sometime annoying, definitely a waste of time Facebook posts (I agree with most teenagers that Facebook is definitely not cool anymore) when I came across a post made by one of my “friends.” “It’s cold outside. That is all.” Most of my friends (notice this time “friends” is not in quotations – indicating that these are my real-life, I would actually hang out with friends) would say that I tend to be rather oblivious to a lot of things. If it is not something that directly affects me or something I am interested in, I take little notice of it. So initially when I read the comment little or no brain activity took place. However, as I have learned through reading and studying, often our subconscious brain will continue to process things that are unusual or out of place. Apparently, my subconscious brain took offense to this simple statement. I later became conscious of this thought from my subconscious brain as I made another day-dream encouraging drive from my place of employment to pick up my son. This happens a lot during these drives. I think there is some kind of magic subconscious-conscious force-field on my route. As I consciously studied this simple statement made by a person I haven’t had an actual conversation with since the mid-point of my life, I realized more and more that it was pissing me off. Mostly I take offense to the fact that the “poster” apparently does not give me, and other at-least average intelligent Facebook users, credit for knowing the meaning of a period when one appears at the end of a sentence. “That is all,” seems rather redundant to me. I assumed that when no other words appeared after the initial statement was made, that was all. I don’t really need to be told this.

“That is all” ranks right up there with “boom” for me. And what the hell is that all about? “Boom!” Your statement was so awesome that it blew me away? Really? Doubtful. Besides if it really was that great, you wouldn't need to point out that it was that great. The statement itself should speak for…um…itself. Guess I’m no writer. But at least I withheld from writing a trendy, annoying, needless phrase.

This experience has helped me realize at least a few things (I’m sure my subconscious is working on more as I write this). First I am thankful that I don’t follow trends quickly. I have missed several fads; hammer pants, rolled jeans, slap bracelets, tattoos, etc. By the time I decide to buy into a fad it is no longer a fad. It is mainstream and has stood the test of time. Second, my subconscious is much smarter than my conscious. Third, I really am getting older. Things that I would not have noticed 10 years ago piss me off to no end now. I have less and less patience for annoying and unnecessary actions. Especially if the main purpose is to show how smart, great, awesome, clever, intelligent, important, blah, blah, blah, someone or something is. I might have to quit watching NFL football forever. Does anyone in that league ever make a play and run back to the huddle. Good grief. A team is down by 45 points and a linebacker gets a sack and he believes he is the greatest linebacker to ever play, or so his actions would make it seem. Dude, your team is getting “a good whoopin” and you haven’t made a single tackle.

I did take the time to research (because that is what I learned to do through my education) the origin of the phrase “That is all.” And although I can respect that Darth Vader may have made the phrase popular, I would like to remind the general public that you are not Darth Vader. No one is, so stop trying.

My beverage is nearly gone and my conscious is telling me I am feeling like I have had a chance to vent and get this off my chest. I wonder if it is the blogging or the drinking. Either way, to those who avoid such statements as “That is all,” cheers.

Mr. Dolores