Advice for Graduates; do as I say, not as I did.

It seems a little strange to be writing a blog on advice for graduates entering college as I had such a tough time figuring out everything myself, but if I had gotten it right the first time and hadn’t made any mistakes I probably wouldn’t have learned nearly as much.

Everyone’s college experience is different and that’s a great thing. The experiences you have and how you react to them will definitely play a major role in shaping who you one day become.

I’ve taken to putting a new life lesson a day on my bus this year and although I’ve driven some of the seniors and they’ve gotten a chance to see some of that wisdom, I have some specific advice for them that I’d like to share now.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” –George Bernard Shaw

Too often you hear people speak about how they truly found themselves in college. I find that to be a pretty harsh criticism of what you accomplished in your first 18 years and I also believe it diminishes the hard work you do in creating the person you want to be.

To say that you “find” yourself in college; with a person, place, things or any other way makes it seem like you have no say in the matter. Trust me, you always have a say. I’m not a strong believer in fate, I believe in hard work and conscious decisions and the difference between the two can be summed up in whether you believe you “find” yourself, or if you “create” yourself.

“Employ your time in improving yourself by other men’s (or women’s) writings, so that you shall gain easily what others have labored hard for.” –Socrates.

This is the essence of college, the education part any way. The first thing you should do when you arrive at your college is go and check out the library. The amount of stored knowledge should blow your mind…and you have access to all of it!

Now, I say that’s the first thing you should do because the first thing I did was I went cruising then went to a party. It was quite a while before I checked out the library and consequently it took me seven years to earn a four year degree. I lacked motivation and no longer had the parents cracking the whip. It took me several years to realize the opportunities I had by attending a university and now that I’m gone it turns out that the books aren’t as cheap and knowledge isn’t taught…but you never stop seeking it.

“Time you enjoyed wasting is not wasted time.” –Bertrand Russell

I had a great time at college. I pretty much paid my way through my freshman year by having keg parties at a friend’s house, met a lot of new awesome people (including a lady or two), and eventually earned a degree. But it wasn’t until I actually accomplished getting that degree that I began to not regret wasting so much time. I can look back and enjoy those moments because I have now achieved my goal, if I hadn’t…I probably wouldn’t be able to forgive my misdirection.

I started my college career at MSU-Moorhead, then after 5 years there I took some time off, traveled the country a bit, came back, bought the family business and then started to get my shit together. There was still something missing, though, so I enrolled in Minnesota School of Business and finished a degree in Business Management. It wasn’t necessarily the degree I had set my sights on, but it was one that I now tend to use every day. Luckily I still have several interests that I use the knowledge gained while majoring in English, Film, and Mass Communications that I don’t feel like taking courses in these subjects were a waste of time at all. More than anything else, these are still the subjects that bring forth my passion.

Once I finished my degree I finally felt like I had accomplished something and was able to look back at my time at MSU-Moorhead as not wasted time…at least not in the sense that I didn’t enjoy myself while wasting it. Without the eventual degree, I may have found my sense of accomplishment seriously lacking and self-worth as well. So, have fun. Waste some time. But don’t lose sight of why you’re there. Knowledge is power…not your ability to funnel beers.

“Smooth seas do not make skilled sailors.” –Proverb.

You will run into your fair share of obstacles on your journey, some of you may even run into more than most. But know that you are not alone. At some point you will be assigned a group project…if you’re not bitching about one of the members of the group not pulling their weight, then you’re probably not pulling your weight.

You’ll have teachers that may not appear to like you or that you just can’t figure out. It happened to all of us…share your stories with classmates, vent, and you may just find some common ground and ideas on how to change the current circumstances.

College isn’t supposed to be easy. If it were, everyone would do it. It’s designed to separate the strong from the weak and god willing, turn the weak into the strong by having them develop a backbone. It will test what you’re made of and if you’re lucky enough to come out the other side with a degree you’ll be much stronger. If not, the battle scars can either help or hurt you…either way, you’ll find out what you’re made of.

Along the same thoughts we have:

“Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.” –Charles Swindoll

And…

“If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down, but the staying down.” –Mary Pickford

I wish I would have heard/read the Swindoll quote when I started my college career, or anytime really before this year. Perhaps I would have handled situations differently; perhaps I’d be a completely different person. But, although I’ve certainly made my fair share of mistakes, I’d like to think for the most part I’ve made amends and although I’ve had some awfully low moments, I have since picked myself back up and have carried on.

You’ll make mistakes as well, it’s inevitable, but take some time to compose yourself and decide the next best step. It’s always best to tackle problems with a nice stroll rather than a sprint.

“What is the point in being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” –John Green

You’ve now graduated high school, what you do next is completely up to you. I just hope that whatever you do, you strive to be the best at it.

Maybe you’ll own your own business, shape young minds as a teacher, become a doctor and save lives or find a cure for cancer, become a pilot and take people wherever they want to go, or even one day write for Banana Daiquiris & Life Lessons?!

Whatever you choose to do, you will find opportunities to make a difference, opportunities to do something remarkable. Don’t be boring; don’t just do the bare minimum. We all have an opportunity to make this world a better place; I hope you seize your opportunities.

“We do not remember days. We remember moments.” –Cesare Pavese

Remember to seize those moments, make a difference and make an impact.

“If you light a lamp for someone else it will also brighten your path.” –Buddha

Speaking of Buddha, discovering or questioning your faith may be a big part of this next journey you take. It's one that I think most of us are constantly on, and really should be. Recently Rainn Wilson (That quirky Dwight from The Office) gave a baccalaureate speech which sums up so many factions of faith and to me is certainly a must watch.

 

Fill your remaining years with knowledge and happiness. The people you meet and the experiences you have in college will all have a huge impact on the person you become. Whatever you choose, make sure that it makes you happy. Remember that you have people who believe in you and are rooting for you to accomplish your dreams. Our future is bright because of amazing people like you.

One of my all-time favorite quotes about life that applies to everyone, not just graduates is from John Lennon. Because this blog obviously needs one more quote, I’ll leave you with this…

 

Congratulations Graduates, now go forth and make us proud!

A Letter to My 21 Year Old Self

With graduation season in full swing, I've found myself reflecting on everything that has happened since my high school and college graduations. It’s funny how some things change, and others remain the same. Am I right?!?

So here it is. A letter to my 21 year old self...

---

Dear me,

Well hellooooo there! I’m sure you’re busy at the moment booking your next spring break trip studying for a test, but as the older, wiser version of yourself I figured I’d take a moment to fill you in on what to expect over the next 10 years. Let’s get started, shall we?

You’re in college. You feel invincible. (You can stay up later, drink more beer, AND can eat your weight in chips and queso without consequences.) Ride this feeling. Savor it. Remember each minute of it because it will go away much too fast. Stick with those internships even if you’re not getting paid. It will eventually pay off, I promise. (Oh, and you will not have a future as an on air tv personality. The sooner you realize this, the better.)  

Or gives you a fake I.D.
(You’re welcome, sister, for allowing there to be not one, but TWO K.V.’s in the El Roco at once…)

Continue to have fun (spoiler alert: they eventually rip down the DownUNDer and Dagwoods and the Cuckoos Nest doesn't exist anymore) but stick to your guns and finish school in a relatively decent time. It will be tough to be one of the first one of your friends in the “real world” but just think – you’re getting a head start on your 401(k)! (Don’t worry, you’re not that lame in your 30s… just messin’ with ya!) Take those spring break trips, but remember you’ll be paying for them for a long, long time.

Can I get a WTF?!?

Many of the friends you have now will still be around in ten years.You might not see them as much as you’d like, but when you do see them it seems as though no time has passed. You’ll also pick up some great new friends along the way. 

In these next ten years you’ll get engaged, graduate from college, move to Minneapolis to work for a gardening magazine (yea, I still can’t believe that one either), and get married (to Manny, duh). You’ll also move back to the G-Funk, work at a newspaper for a short stint, buy a house, and get an even better job all before you turn 27.

It’s when you’re 27 that you’ll experience the biggest change of all. You’re going to become a mom. It’s hard to sum this up in words, but it will change how you do everything from spending free time to how you grocery shop. Two short years later you’ll have another one. Yes, you’ll have two kids before you’re 30. (I’m still shocked too.)

They will make you laugh, cry, laugh some more, and will even want to make you pull your hair out at times. They have the best qualities of you and Manny and then some. Their personalities fill up the room and the free time you once used to use to sleep do keg stands study won’t really exist anymore. I’m here to tell you that’s totally cool and you’ll love it. (Oh, and a little reminder to live it up now…)

They will find you.

When I think of these two little humans their graduation seems so far away (I mean, they’ll graduate high school in the late 2020s!) but I’m sure my/your 45 year old self will tell you it’s going to fly by. (I sure hope the 45 year me is as cool as the 21/31 year old version. Just sayin...) So have fun and enjoy those 20s!

Sincerely,

Your 31 year old self

PS - Britney eventually pulls her $h*t together, Beyonce and Jay-Z name their kid Blue Ivy (I mean, come on), and Grey’s Anatomy is still on TV. You’re welcome. 

The Tale of Mr. Magoo

 

 

There are a lot of things in this life that we are in complete control of; our jobs, our friends, the clothes you choose to wear, even the people you love.

But then there are things you certainly can’t control.

To an extent you do have control over a portion of your health, but certain people have a predisposition to health issues, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

For me, personally, I don’t think there is a more helpless feeling then going to see a doctor…any doctor. This past week I got to visit two, one for my biannual bus driver physical and one for my annual eye exam.

Physical Exam

I made the best out of the first visit by scheduling my physical with the new P.A. in Red Lake Falls who happens to be a little easier on the eyes than our 60+ year old family doctor, let’s call him Orvis.

I was first brought back to hit the scale, measuring tape, and the thing I feared the most…the eye exam.

The last physical I had, I just about failed the eye exam (to the State’s standards…fascists) but was able to just barely make it through without a new restriction on my license…but two years had passed, and I was worried.

After some very fortunate guesses I was informed, after being asked several times where my glasses were, that I had passed with 20/40 vision in each individual eye and 20/25 when the two were able to work together. That’s about exactly where they were two years ago so I was feeling pretty darn good!

 

The nurse finished up the rest of my vitals and then informed me that the P.A. would be in shortly. It is probably worth mentioning two quick things before we enter in the new character to this story:

1.  For a CDL physical you must submit to a UA test, which means my physical began by me peeing in a cup.

2.  During my eye exam when I was obviously struggling to guess the letters from a mile (or 20 feet) away, the P.A. walked by…

O.K. So we’re back! I’m chilling in my little exam room (which was covered with Toy Story and princess characters), putting out the vibe and in walks my medical professional. She introduces herself, I introduce myself, and then:

P.A.: What is going on with your eyes?!

Me: It’s not like I’m blind! I can see when I have both eyes open and I have no problem seeing when I’m driving or reading, it’s just that they don’t work so good independently…

P.A.: [Blank Stare]

Me: I have astigmatism.

P.A.: [Blank Stare]

Me: I have glasses, I just ruined them cutting blocks while I was landscaping.

P.A.: Don’t you think you should get some new ones?

Me: I have an eye appointment tomorrow…they’re fine.

So, yeah, my visit (and vibe) wasn’t how I had imagined it.

Later we were discussing my business that my brother, sister, and I run and my game is so good right now that I laid down this convo that she was undoubtedly picking up…

PA: How long have you been driving for VV?

Me: Since I turned 18, maybe before…it’s a family business that we run so as soon as I could drive I got my license.

PA: Oh, so you’re the family that owns that? I don’t think I’ve tubed for 7 or 8 years. Do you do it all the time?

Me: Honestly, no. We work a lot, six or seven days a week and you really need to step away when you can to recharge your batteries.

[See how I’m being honest and maybe even sounding somewhat professional…not too shabby Ashby – on a side note I’m now going by the name “Barrett Ashby” as my pen name, to protect the innocent, another one of our writers has chosen the name Barry Allen…who is The Flash, for those of you who aren’t as into superheroes as some of us]

PA: So what do you do on your days off?

Ashby: Nothing.

PA: [Blank Stare]

Ashby: Yeah…nothing. You spend so much time with people that you just need a little break every now and then. I actually spend a lot of time in my basement watching movies.

[Damn I’m cool…I should have told her about all the video games I play too…if only that were true]

PA: Hmmm…

Her being somewhat new to town, she probably was looking for some fun activities to do, but hanging out in my basement probably didn’t jump to the top of her “Things to do in my life” list…or ever.

Needless to say, that pretty much ended the social interaction of the visit, but as we were finishing up she quickly added: “Everything checks out, and your pee looks good.”

Most people probably wouldn’t know what to say to such a statement, but luckily I’m one twisted individual…

Ashby: Why, thank you! It’s been a long time since someone paid me that compliment!

PA: [Blank Stare]

Eye Exam

The eye exam, the next day, went great-ish. The way the exam was going I was just waiting for the optometrist to tell me I’m legally blind…she was a very stoic individual and not quite as much of a looker as the PA…but they can’t all be such admirers of your pee.

It turns out that an actual eye doctor, that’s right clinics that have been telling me I’m blind, said that my vision has actually improved from two years ago!

You’re probably thinking, “20/40 is an improvement?!”

Well, no. But my OPTOMOTRIST said that one eye was 20/30 and the other was 20/25! I’m practically Superman, which is better than the clinic which had me believing I was Ray Charles.

 

 

She did make a point to say that she thought the glasses were actually helping my brain to be more attentive and that may be causing my better vision. She also strongly suggested that I keep wearing glasses…then sent me out to purchase some from her…best salesperson ever.

The Moral

Really? There’s no moral, there’s a guy making an ass out of himself and thinking he’s blind, then finding out that he’s not…this week’s blog is more of a redemption story than anything. But if you can find some sort of life lesson in there, good for you! If not, maybe you can see why we added “Banana Daiquiris” to the title of the blog as well…

Mother's Day

By now your flowers have begun to wilt.

Breakfast duties have returned to you.

Mother’s Day won’t be here for a whole year…

It seems like a strange thing to post this blog about Mother’s Day a few days after the event has passed. How I understand it, we’re supposed to give mothers just the one day, right? Doesn’t it seem a bit like a crock considering just how much our mothers do for us? And you know what the craziest thing is? Most mothers would claim that every day is Mother’s Day! It’s almost like they enjoy the duties put upon them by their demanding kids and other family?! What’s wrong with these people?!

Here’s a brief history of Mother’s Day taken from the most credible source on the web, Wikipedia…

The modern American holiday of Mother's Day was first celebrated in 1908, when Anna Jarvis held a memorial for her mother in Grafton, West Virginia. Her campaign to make "Mother's Day" a recognized holiday in the United States began in 1905, the year her beloved mother, Ann Reeves Jarvis, died. Anna’s mission was to honor her own mother by continuing work she had started and to set aside a day to honor mothers, "the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world." Anna's mother, Ann Jarvis, was a peace activist who had cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War and created Mother’s Day Work Clubs to address public health issues.

Due to the campaign efforts of Anna Jarvis, several states officially recognized Mother's Day, the first in 1910 being West Virginia, Jarvis’ home state. In 1914 Woodrow Wilson signed the proclamation creating Mother’s Day, the second Sunday in May, as a national holiday to honor mothers. In a thank-you note to Wilson, Jarvis wrote of a “great Home Day of our country for sons and daughters to honor their mothers and fathers and homes in a way that will perpetuate family ties and give emphasis to true home life.” Jarvis became critical, however, of the commercialization of the day.

 

Mother’s Day was always a very special day for our family because our mother was the best mother in the world…aren’t they all? I may be biased, and she was the only mom I ever knew so I guess whatever…she was the best damn it! Most of the readers of this blog know me by now as the writer who’s too long winded and often goes from some sort of philosophical posts to random nights of debauchery. A lot of you also know that I lost my mom quite a few years ago now to ovarian cancer.

My mom and I were very good friends, she encouraged me to live a full life, and gave me the freedom to choose whatever I wanted to do…which may have backfired as I had several different majors in college including; Film, English (Writing), Secondary Education (English Emphasis), Mass Communications, and finally got my degree in Business Management. I know what you’re thinking, one of these things is not like the others. You’re right. I kind of copped out after my mom passed away. My brother, sister and I had taken over the operation of our family business and I not only wanted to finish my degree, but I also wanted to be able to run our business the best I could. It was the first logical decision I made, ever.

But despite all of the random majors I had in school my mom always encouraged me along the way. Was she concerned that I was having too good of a time at college and not necessarily attending to my studies as much as I should? Without a doubt. But for some odd reason she seemed to always believe in me, that I would get it all worked out in the end, and part of me feels like she liked the free spirit that she had raised.

I was not an easy child to raise though. I was certainly taking full advantage of being the youngest child. The road had been plowed for me and I could see all the angles and just how far I could take things…then I would go just a little further.

I remember coming across my mom one morning while she was out for her morning walk…we were out still from the night before and she just asked if we were out already, or just heading in (making sure we knew that those were our only two options). “Just heading in,” I replied and away we went to my buddy Brad’s house to finally get some sleep.

When I first went to school at MSU-Moorhead I had been to Fargo exactly one other time. I didn’t really know much about the town because my family never really went there at all. My mom’s job brought her all over the place but very rarely did she go to Fargo, but then I started going to school there. Soon after she had picked up some clients there which meant that she would have to come to meet with them, which meant that she would come to see me and take me out to lunch and perhaps catch a movie.

When my mom was battling cancer and still working, she would get up at 4am if I or any of my siblings happened to be home just so she could get all of her work done before we woke up. That way she could spend the day with us doing whatever we wanted to do.

When we were really little kids and our parents were really struggling financially my mom was so disappointed because she loved Christmas so much and always wanted it to be so special for all of us kids, but there was a year where it looked like we weren’t going to have anything under the tree. One of my mom’s greatest friends then proceeded to go out and buy a bunch of presents for all of us, simply because of how much it meant to my mom to see us happy. She was the kind of person who wanted only to make others happy, often neglecting her needs to achieve happiness for others and consequently she attracted only the greatest people that became her friends.

These are just a few of the stories about all of the things that my mom did for me and my family in her short time here. I was only able to celebrate 23 Mother’s Days with her, and that simply wasn’t enough. I miss her every day, not just one day a year.

But I’m not alone, and that should tell you about how important moms (and dads) truly are, and how one day a piece a year simply isn’t enough to celebrate all of the amazing things they do for us. Being a parent is the definition of unconditional love, and for those that it isn’t I feel sorry. Kids grow and are molded by the love of their parents and family. One of the greatest things I’ve heard about parents, and it rings true with all of the best parents, is that they give their children two gifts; the first is roots, and the second is wings. They encourage you to become whatever you want, but they’re always there for you no matter what you choose, whether you achieve your dreams or fail miserably. Being a parent isn’t for the faint of heart. Kids will drive you to drink (sorry mom and dad!) but they’ll also give you plenty to be proud of if you just believe in them and never stop loving them.

I know a lot of people who have lost a parent too young, be it mother’s or father’s, and one thing I think we all share is not only the fact that we all think about them daily, but also we all hope that we’re making them proud.

I know a lot of people probably wonder about whether or not people who have lost a father or mother still celebrate Mother’s or Father’s Day in memory of the one they lost. I’m sure that a lot of people do, but in my experience they kind of become like the other important days in that person’s life; their birthday, anniversaries, and even the day they died…everyone in the family is aware of the day but no one really tries to acknowledge it. It’s a very sad thing but not having that wonderful person around to celebrate with tends to just bring you down a little more, and that’s too bad. As you can see through the stories I’ve shared in this blog, my mom was an awesome mom. More than anything, that’s why I wanted to write this blog.

It’s been far too long since we’ve celebrated how fantastic of a mom we had on Mother’s Day. We host a basketball tournament to raise money for cancer research every year in her name, and it is a great celebration but there’s not really a good reason why we don’t celebrate her on Mother’s Day as a family.

I sent out a message to a few of my friends who recently became mom’s for the first (and one who became a mom for the third) time, wishing them a Happy Mother’s Day and one of them replied that she hoped that we had a great day celebrating how awesome of a woman my mom was, and that’s when it really hit me as far as how we have to stop hiding from these occasions.

How, even though she isn’t with us anymore, she still was the best possible mom for this group of misfits I call my brother and sisters, and that deserves to be celebrated.

Instead of me writing a blog about some of the reasons she was so amazing, next year I’m hoping that we can get together as a family and talk about why each and every one of us was her favorite (it was me…).

On a final note here I wanted to tell my friends who have lost a parent to always remember the good times, and I hope there were plenty. We’re shaped so much by all of the things that our parents do for us, and we all should really celebrate those amazing individuals who so selflessly love us, no matter our missteps.

One of the individuals I have been working on to write with us for this blog, (a friend who I have actually written about on here before, and besides my mom, was certainly one of the big influencers that turned me to writing) unfortunately knows the struggle of losing a parent first hand. In his case he lost both far too early, but as they look at the son they left behind, there’s no doubt they are proud of the man he has become. Follow Kurt’s blog at TeacherScribe, and keep up with all of the amazing things he’s passing onto the youth to make sure our future is bright! You think I brag about the awesome kids I know a lot, wait until you read what the kids in Room 205 are up to!

So in the spirit of Mother’s Day I would love to leave you with a poem written by Kurt Reynolds for his mom, I told Kurt I could just copy and paste it…I’m not that technologically capable apparently though, so click the link below to read!

Fingerprints by Kurt Reynolds

Everyday should be Mother’s Day!

Home

I’ve been away awhile. Partly because I’ve been busy with other pursuits, but mostly because I’ve procrastinated. Writing is a lot like working out. You know you should do it and when you do, you feel much better; not only physically but also about yourself. Writing makes me feel good, just not so much when I do it. It’s work. But I feel accomplished when a piece is finished, which is a fundamental ingredient in one’s self-esteem. So in other words, I don’t have a good excuse for being away for so long. But let’s stay in the present-moment, and get this long over-due post moving along.

First, a quick follow-up to the last post concerning the Whiskey & the Wolves project. Our first track, “St. Memory” from the Denver recordings is up. You can find it through our Facebook page and also here at, Reverb Nation http://tinyurl.com/m8peyaz. We’ve had some pretty good response from it so far and appreciate that if you like it yourself, share it. Ironically, in the age of the internet, we’ve returned to word-of-mouth type marketing. When it comes down to it that really is what social media is, only the medium has changed from face-to-face to electronic; and it’s really the way music gets out “there” now-a-days.

We have 3 more songs from Denver that we are currently working on polishing up for release and are shooting for a Summer release of the full EP. But, seemingly like anything that is worth doing, it takes time, effort and the almighty dollar. We’re also pursuing radio play with a few connections back in God’s country: the northern Red River valley of ND and MN. Beyond that, we continue to write, rehearse and even learn a few cover songs as we move towards full exposure: shows. It may be strange, but I don’t consider W&W a “band”, at least not proper, or for now. It’s a project and as such we are looking to add musicians, record, and do what a band does, but keep the core of it a creative release for Lucas and I; a way to “spill our blood” artistically. But who knows what the future may hold, as Paolo Soleri so aptly put it, “The future does not exist.”

Now that the slight detour is over, I want to put down a few words on that Red River Valley that I came from. The place that will forever be my home, even if I’m not currently living there. You can take me out of Minnesota, but I’ll forever be a Minnesotan. Twenty plus years where I was born and raised along with all the lived experiences there are part of who I am, and when I die - God-willing that is a far away event - I wish to find my final resting place there. Maybe I’m sentimental, or slightly delusional but I truly believe that if I was born of that land, it is only fitting that I return to it.

I have a habit of writing things down, but not always in a structured or organized way. Only recently, I began to centralize my jotting into notebooks; currently called “The California Notebooks”, I’m on #2. Before that I would write things in Word documents on whatever computer was available, in whatever notebook was available, on post-it notes and legal pads at work, on blank pieces of paper that just happened to be around me at the time. The problem is that many of these were unfinished pieces and keeping them organized and centralized is, understandably, impossible without further clerical work - which I just don’t seem to get around to.

Seven months after my wife and I made the journey from the heartland out to the coastline of California, we returned back home. In some ways it felt like we had never left, but things were slightly different and felt that way. I haven’t been home since and can imagine those feelings will be amplified when I make my way back again. Places and people change through time. It is the absolute constant of existence. After that week was over, and we enjoyed the company of many friends and family, I found myself sitting in the back seat of my parents’ car on the way back to the Fargo airport to board a flight back to our new “home” in California. I didn't have a notebook so I used the only thing I did have, my iPhone. Here is what I put down (slightly edited) that day and I can only say this, now 10 months later: I feel the same, and one day in the future, I certainly have plans to return. But my journey out here isn't over, and may not be for some time, but when it is, I hope the land and people that I know as home will welcome me back.

“Home. A word that like any in the variety of human language, contains multiple meanings. As societies shift and change, so too do our words to describe it. Entire academic disciplines and by extension, many individual careers are and have been dedicated to the study for how language carves out meaning from the abyss. Language shifts, evolves, adapts and, if we take the word ‘home’ as an example, words can change meaning for a single individual over their lifetime.

“What home means to one person to the next, from their childhood to old age, is contested and challenged as the acts for life are played out on the grand stage. As I sit in the back of my parents’ car as they drive my wife and I to the airport, my idea of home is being kicked around in my thoughts. The sharp corners of meaning are being blunted by large shifts in my personal life. Home has become many places over the years and in a few short hours I’ll be returning to my own place of residence that I currently refer to as home. But at the same time I’m flying home from home - my real home. The place where I was raised. A place where I never contested the meaning of the word home, it was simply taken for granted. This land in the northern Red River valley, in the furthest Northwest corner of Minnesota. A place of wetlands, lakes, rivers, forests, the flattest pieces of land that you can find outside the Salt flats. And, yes, it is all covered in a blanket of snow and cold for 5-8 months out of the year. But regardless of the climate, there is a certain serene beauty to the characteristics that make Minnesota, Minnesota; or for that matter, the Midwest the Midwest. This place will always be home; my HOME home.”

Moving to California has proved to be neither as hard nor as easy as I thought it would be. Physically, it’s rather easy. You pack up your life in a Uhaul trailer and drive West. It’s the part that comes after that that makes it harder. That is where I’m at now. But that’s life, as they say. I know where my home is. I couldn't forget it if I wanted to - and I don’t want to. It’s not perfect, far from it. But many of the things that make it imperfect are exactly what make it great. And judging by the sheer number of songs written entitled, “Home” I know I’m not alone in these feelings. Life may take you away but, …well you know the rest.

As an example of “you can take the boy out of Minnesota, but not the Minnesota out of the boy,” when someone says “thank you” to me out here, I still answer “you bet.” I’m not sure if it has any meaning here, but it’s too programmed. And it’s “pop” goddammit, not “soda.” Get your shit straight, California!

‘Til next time, take care of yourselves,

~Mikey

“California

I don't even know you

And you've taken me away from home

Old Magnolia

I'll never get over you

Feeling's running straight to my bones

Someday I'll be coming home

Someday I'll be coming home

With a cast iron Soul”

~California (Cast Iron Soul) by Jamestown Revival

I highly recommend this band!

Things I Have Learned

     1. Video games are awesome, but video game systems can drive you nuts

a.       NES – if you don’t know what that is you are too young, but wasn’t it annoying to insert a game, take out the game, blow into the system then blow into the game, then try to play again.

b.      N64 – now we're talking Mario in 3D whoop whoop, but what do they do, take away internal memory so you can never turn off the system unless you beg for a memory card

c.       Sega Genesis – no one knows if this had problems cause no one bought one

d.      PlayStation – finally no cartridges but now discs. Yep discs are the future, that tend to get scratched easily and when you finally reach the last level the disc stops working

e.      PlayStation 3 – everything you want in a system; gaming, internet, blue ray, 3D, motion activated, the future.. Never get to play though because it is always updating.

f.        PlayStation 4 – the new new future, but no games for it yet.

      

2. TV Guide on your TV is awesome but lies

a.       This is sweet cause you can channel surf without changing the channel (genius), maybe find a movie or a sporting event you wanna watch. But what TV guide doesn’t tell you is, whatever channel you decide to go to, you are going to have to watch commercials first. Try it I dare you, 7 out of 6 times you’re watching a commercial first (its science)

      

3. Duke is still better than UNC

 

                        a.    Can’t argue with that

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4. You eat more pizza when it is in squares

a.       You don’t believe me, go to Duane’s house of pizza in Fargo/Moorhead and order a pizza, keep track of how many pieces you eat.  You will than realize you ate 3 whole pizzas

  

5. Comedy, Laughter, Humor

a.       These are the best things in life

b.      2 men walked into a bar, 3^rd one ducked…. You're welcome

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6. You don’t know disappointment

a.       Unless you’re a Vikings fan

b.      Unless you stayed up super late cause you figured school would be canceled and it wasn’t

c.       Unless you are craving a mountain dew and you open the fridge and your roommate drank the last one

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7. Men are insane, woman are insaner

a.       Men will do something extremely stupid once, and probably end up doing it again. (drinking themselves into a coma)

b.      Women will try doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. (“will you pick your underwear up off the floor”) 

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8. Toys have too many batteries

a.       Every toy a child has today has a battery

b.      I had a ball, a matchbox car, and a spoon (so I could dig holes in the sandbox) – my childhood was awesome

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9. Everybody wins these days

a.       Who the heck thought of this, you enter a competition and you get a trophy if your 1^st or 101^st.

b.      When I lost, I went home pissed and figured I better work harder, try harder, and I will win next time.

c.       Now a days you can just show up and collect a trophy

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10. "Selfie"

a.       Who, What, Where, When, And WHY…

b.      Someone write me a term paper on how the selfie started

c.       This has to be the beginning of the end, why are we snapping a picture of ourselves to post on social media.. Oh look I'm at Mount Rushmore…mmmmh really looks like you and some rocks in the background I can’t see anything else.

d.      Hold on I have to take a selfie #hashtag#

"Like"-ing on Facebook

We need more social interaction on social networking sites. It's nice to have someone "Like" a photo or status or whatever, but it's nicer to know why they liked it. Open up the doors of dialogue. If you liked something, explain why. You might just find that you like even more of the person than the fragment of their existence that you saw a glimpse of. We have these tools at our disposal to learn so much about each other but we limit it to a quick glance and a tap of a button. An added bonus to actually responding and leaving a comment is that it may just help you with your writing ability. It might also bring others into the conversation and allow you to discover new friends and ideas!

Sometimes a "like" is all you need if it's a close friend and the post is somewhat of an inside joke; or a lot of people use it when they get a bunch of birthday posts or congratulations or any mass post. These times I would say it's pretty acceptable to use the "like" button. But why not take it a step further? Why not take some time and write a little response? Is it because it takes too long? These people have taken the time to let you know that they're thinking about you, so maybe return the favor!

I also believe that meme's...or whatever they're called, may qualify for a simple "like." Once again, though, a little explanation opens up the waves of conversation. Maybe it was exactly what you needed to brighten your day, or maybe it pisses you off because it reminds you of something terrible in your life...a phone call may be the best if you'd like to explain that, or simply try to ignore it. 

One thing you see a lot of on Facebook is people spilling their emotions or maybe dumping their trash as some posts so elegantly put it. Some people think or say how terrible this is and how people shouldn't do it, but when you think of it we're really in a different time right now. Unfortunately our face-to-face relationships are diminishing and our online or text relationships are growing. So when people depend on their online relationships for pick-me-ups, or advice, etc, they tend to use those same sites when they're down and out, depressed or whatever. 

The sad thing is that with the ease of connecting with people this way we have become less and less conversational in the real world. Our "friendships" and offline relationships can't be handled with a simple hit of the "like" button, and so we tend to avoid more often and take less chances. 

So although I feel like it is very important for us all to get out in the real world a little more often (hypocritical for a blogger I know) I think it's also important for us not to ignore these people who use social media to ask for help, and don't get confused, dumping our problems on Facebook, Twitter, etc., is a call for help. We have two choices here, as we do if a friend tells us their problems offline...you can help them or ignore them. These are the instances where a simple "like" isn't enough. Send them a message, or better yet, give them a call! 

In 2012 Facebook averaged over 2.7 billion "like's" daily...daily! 

There were 2.5 billion content items shared daily and over 300 million photo uploads.

That translates to roughly 3 "likes" per day and one photo every 3 days per user. 

Facebook has allowed me personally to connect with individuals I probably never would have seen or heard from again. I can see what's going on in their lives and occasionally "like" the things that they post. But I'm going to try and do more. There's a video circulating right now about abandoning social media, and I love the idea behind it...but chances are it's not going to happen for a lot of us. Personally I use it too much for marketing and stalking so I couldn't give it up without another one of those restraining orders...

But if we're not going to give it up, let's just do a better job of using it and maybe use our phones more for talking to people rather than texting them. If you "like" something on Facebook, explain why! Let's see what we can do about putting the social back in social media...and let's put it back in the real world too.

Call your parents, your friends, that girl or guy you like or "like." Get out and meet new people and explore life, it's not going to be around forever and chances are you're not going to have a Skype funeral...

Now that I've lectured about "like"-ing and using technology, I'm going to confess...I wrote this whole blog on my phone. I did it partly out of spite of my own stupid opinions and partly because one of the guys who we would like to blog with us kept telling me he didn't have a computer to type on...well, challenge accepted and completed my friend!

If you "liked" this post...tell us why! The best part about when you comment on this blog, we can make it better! Hopefully our writing will get better as we go along here, but we're certainly open to suggestions and thoughts from you about how we're doing! If you have something you'd like us to tackle let us know that too! Hopefully we start hearing more and more from our readers, let's use this social media to it's fullest! You can also call...