Thursday, June 14, 2012

30 Apples Up on Top!


It’s been a while since I took to the net to get my random thoughts and opinions into all of your heads, and that’s mostly because I’ve been in a sick bed recovering from an over exposure to apples. Turns out 30 apples in a week may just be too much fiber…

The first blog was extremely well organized with the exact stats, and had a real nice breakdown of how exactly everything went during the dare, I am not exactly that organized though so I’ll see what I can do with this.

Day 1
I began my morning with two apples, than continued to munch on them as the day went on finishing my day at 8 apples. At the beginning and end of the day I posted what I was doing and the total I was at that night onto Facebook as I am constantly starving for attention. I also spent a lot of my night in the bathroom…

Day 2
I started my day the same way, two apples for breakfast and then munched throughout the day whenever I had an opportunity. I finished once again with 8 more apples, bringing my two-day total to 16 apples. When my brother got home from coaching at a local basketball camp he told me that at least ten people had come up to him wondering about the apple challenge, I wasn’t quite full but my attention fix was starting to be satisfied.

I also went the entire day without using the bathroom, which seemed awfully strange to me since I think I was totally exceeding my recommended daily amount of fiber…

Day 3
Day 3 was not a great day for me. I woke up in the morning with my stomach in absolute knots. It felt like I had eaten an entire Apple tree and it was desperate to get out. This morning I had no trouble at all in the lavoratory…

I was definitely sick. The thought of apples made me sick, seeing them made me feel terrible and when people asked me about them I kind of wanted to punch them in the face…apparently I had brought it on myself though, or so the people I threatened told me.

The roughest day I had had in months resulted in me eating no apples and thinking that this was a challenge I simply was not going to be able to complete. I wasn’t too proud of my day so there were no posts on Facebook or twitter. I was kind of hoping that everyone would just forget about the whole thing.

Day 4
I woke up and went on Facebook to update our company page and then checked my Facebook where one of my friends had posted that she had eaten an apple at the Bonnaroo Music Festival and had thought of me…ego stoked. It was time to get back on the wagon…or off, not really sure how that works, it’s my first experience with addiction (unless you count video games and alcohol). Maybe we should call it back on the apple wagon, hell maybe that’s where it comes from?!

Two apples for breakfast got me back on track and then five more throughout the day got me within reach of my goal of 30. Four day total was now up to 23 and I was feeling a little more confident about my progress, then I found out that the other two challengers finished the challenge that day. My dreams of becoming the apple champ were crushed. Where was I to find the motivation to continue on?!

As a great man once said, “Sometimes you have to complete your journey even if you’re the only idiot that cares that you did it.”

That great man was me, I’m fantastic at self motivation.

Day 5
I awoke to my alarm and I kid you not the song that was playing was “Eye of The Tiger!” Nah, that’s a lie. It was actually just the buzzer that’s super annoying and I really had to use the bathroom so I had actually been up for hours by the time that went off. But the stage was set, seven apples to go and besides the early morning trip to the loo I was feeling pretty good about my chances.

Two for breakfast…five to go.
Two for lunch…three to go.
Then we got busy with camping, tubing, etc…

My next apple didn’t come until about 10:30 at night, but we still had to shut off some radios in the campground and double check to see if anyone needed anything else before we took off for the night, but it turns out people don’t tend to really think you care if you’re eating an apple the whole time you’re talking to them.

10:45 – Two apples to go.

11:15 – One apple to go…

11:35 – Surprisingly the last apple was not a challenge at all. The worst part by far was eating the seeds, stem, and whatever that thing is on the bottom of the apple is called. Our buddy had been posting stuff all week about how the seeds contain arsenic and that eating enough of them will certainly kill you, so when I was eating them I found myself wondering…was it worth it?!

I had done it. 30 apples in five days with two days to spare, which I set aside for getting my colon cleansed. Just kidding, that sucker was pretty cleaned out after this whole experiment!

I had completed the dare, but had come in last so what did I win? Respect. Oh, you say that you actually kind of respect me a little less now? Well I guess I got to eat a bunch of apples then. Wait, I can’t count that because I had to pay for all of them? Well, I guess if you’re reading this, then you can say that I’m no longer starving at least…

Update:
I’m officially entering myself into rehab as I cannot get through a day without craving an apple. One of us is homeless now as he has been attempting to support his apple addiction and word on the street is that he has been pulling a DiCaprio circa Basketball Diaries just to get his fix. The winner of the competition has moved to Florida to live amongst the “Apple People.”

Talk about Life Lessons.

No comments:

Post a Comment