Happy New Years Eve from Mexico!

So it's that time of year again, time to reflect on our previous year or years and to measure our expectations to our realities. Looking back at this past year it hasn't really been a series of ups and downs like it had been in the past for me but a pretty constant year, and a good one at that. I didn't have any serious negative things happen to me, my family and friends all appear to be healthy and at this point they're all looking good to survive another year and the positives in my life have been pretty spectacular.

This past year marked the birth of a few awesome little ones to some of my closest friends and it has been truly a joy to get to see them become the awesome parents I always knew they would be, and for some, continue to be. It also brought forth the announcement of a few new little ones to join us in 2015, which I truly cant wait to meet. It may even require me to finally make that trip to Arizona I've been promising for years!

2014 also saw a resurgence of this little endeavor called Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons. I fell short of the 52 blog posts I had hoped for by about 12, but still, that's far more than I had ever done and after 40 posts in one year I still enjoy doing it and occasionally we even bring in a reader or two.

Looking back at my new year's resolution post from a year ago I certainly didn't complete everything I had hoped to in this past year, but I had somme pretty amazing experiences, met some extraordinary people and have somehow been able to turn the massive amount of what could be mundane days that make up a year into one extended learning experience that undoubtedly has taught me a number of life lessons as well as has left me a better person.

One of the coolest things that happened for the blog this year was that we have coaxed a consistent contributor into the fray with Mike Braget. I know he must be somewhat in for the long haul with us as we even made his Christmas card this year! I know I had mentioned that I wanted to convince a celebrity to blog with us this year but I feel like its an even cooler experience to have Mike write a post from a hammock in Mexico!

Speaking of writing from Mexico...

My first post of 2014 was written from my desk at my house with just me and a glass of Jameson. It was a great experience and a post that looked towards the future without any real sentiment for where the year would bring me. As I sit here on my veranda in Playa Del Carmen overlooking the fantastic pool where I have just spent a good portion of my day enjoying Banana Daiquiris pool side I can honestly say that looking back 365 days there is no way I thought this is how I would be spending my new years 2015.

I spent most of 2013 trying to make up for a poor summer where we put far more money into our business than we ever had as well as some other poor financial decisions. I was pretty much flat broke living pay check to pay check and having to borrow money from my sister just to make it through the tax season. 

We still didn't have a block buster year for our summer business but we did make enough to actually receive a pay check this year. We lost all of the month of June to rain, but when our crowds started to come back in July and August we dealt with far more families than ever before and really started to love what we do again. Even if we had simply broke even or not lost nearly as much as the previous year but still got to deal with these amazing people, it would have been worth it.

But we did make a little money, and after a bad couple years for me, my sister decided it was important that we take a vacation together. My brother, Ryan, had already booked a trip with his girlfriend over the same time period that we were going so we undoubtedly miss him on this trip, but it has been exactly what I think we all needed.

This escape to Mexico has been super relaxing (except for the near death experience on our trip here) and has led to a series of days spent sipping Banana Daiquiris and other frozen cocktails by the pool. Fun fact, when you spend your whole day day drinking, you tend to have pretty early nights. Our biggest worry for tonight is actually making it all the way to midnight! Our latest night so far was last night where Joe and I forced ourselves to stay up until 11:30! It helped that we met some new friends from Texas who were a lot younger than us, but day drinking, it appears, has the same effect on all of us!

This trip was just what the doctor ordered. It's a trip where we get to be together as a family (at least partially) in a situation where we aren't working. We probably spend more time together than any other siblings our age but those hours are almost exclusive to work, this is play, this is relaxation...this is quality family time.

So as this is the last blog of 2014 I'm not really going to delve into what I hope to accomplish in 2015, I just wanted to touch base with you as a recap of the year that was and say that it has been a good year for me as well. I'm not sure where I'm going from here, but I know where I am today...and today, my friends, is a great day.

Happy New Year from all of us at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons! We hope you have a fantastic night ringing in the new year with the ones you love, and don't forget to have yourself a daiquiri or two to ring it in!

"IT IS WHAT IT IS"

We're flying high over Saint Louis, MO with Americas hottest family, and we're all about to die.

Let's just say we had a bit of an experience with our flight to Cancun Mexico...

My dad and I took off for Minneapolis on Christmas day so that we could spend a day with y sister and brother-in-law at their place before we took off on our trip to Playa Del Carmen in Mexico. The roads were perfect on the way down there and there was pretty much no snow left in Minnesota at this point although we did come across some fog in areas. 

We got to my sister's house without any problems at all and got to spend that night and the next day pretty much just hanging out with a side step to do some shopping early the day after Christmas. We even got that all done early enough where we were able to avoid the large crowds, got the few items we still needed for our trip (although finding swim wear in December in Minnesota proved to be a chore!) and were back to the house by around 9:30am! We spent the rest of the day watching Christmas movies such as the classic holiday film, Die Hard, and just attempted to get completely into relaxation mode for our flight and trip which we had to get up early for the next day.

Our flight was scheduled to take off at 8:50am and with it being an international flight we wanted to get to the airport by around 6:50am...so of course we got hit with a bit of a winter storm that night. I woke up around 4am to the sound of my sister out shoveling her side walks and went up to see that although we had missed out on a white Christmas, the snow had arrived just in time to possibly cause us some problems to get the heck out of Dodge!

Luckily my sister and her husband recently purchased a Jeep so we weren't too worried about navigating the highways to the airport, but we were a bit worried about other drivers as well as whether or not the plane would be delayed due to the current conditions.

We got to the airport with plenty of time to get checked in then we stopped at one of the airport watering holes to get some cocktails because everyone knows that once you pass through airport security, you are officially on vacation. So we go to this restaurant/bar and it being 7:30 or so in the morning, my dad didn't feel up for a drink, but Steph, Joe, and I ordered mimosas at a busy counter and the girl poured them for us drop them off and said, "$41.13." I figured she must have been talking to the group next to us and when I looked at their tab it was that number so when she came back I said: "I'd like to pay for these drinks please, how much were they?"

Her: "$41.13."

Me: "Holy shit! Well, here you go."

So needless to say, we were getting pretty excited to get out of the airport and to our all inclusive resort! 

We got a notice saying that our plane would be delayed 15 minutes but considering the outside conditions we felt like that wasn't bad at all! We boarded the plane at 8:15am and were now scheduled to depart at 9am. Everyone got loaded up pretty quickly and we were all set to go, we pulled onto the tarmac and then were informed that due to heavy traffic in Cancun as well as the need to do some de-icing we would now not be taking off until a little after 10am...yet we got to stay in the plane...for an hour and 20 minutes...like sardines. Why we needed to get on the plane when we did, I'll never know, but I had a good book with me and I just decided to make the best out of a bad situation.

So 10am arrives and we're headed for take-off, finally. It's a pretty smooth takeoff and we are finally on our way to our all inclusive vacation! about an hour and a half into our flight the captain comes on over the PA system and says: "You may have noticed that we have turned around. We got a crack in our windshield so we are headed back to Minneapolis where we'll try to arrange another plane for you. The second pane is intact and we feel like we'll be fine to make the trip rather than landing in Saint Louis."

Things were starting to register with the passengers and most of us were waiting for him to say, just joking! But it never came. Soon people were starting to get angry that we were turning around and I was sitting there thinking to myself...he did just say that we got a crack in the windshield of our plane right? The thing that is carrying us traveling around 300mph or so however high above the ground? So yeah, we're all going to die today. But, I had that book so I just said, well, I'll read my book and whatever happens happens. The lady a few seats ahead of us was celebrating her 80th birthday by flying all of her family to Mexico for a vacation and after talking to her a bit she just showed us her bracelet witch said, "It is what it is." Which summed up the situation perfectly. 

We probably should have landed in Saint Louis, but by traveling back to Minneapolis (if we made it) we would have a better chance at still getting a plane to take us to Cancun sometime that day. So, I guess they figured it was worth the risk.

We arrived back in Minneapolis safely and as we were departing the plane we got a glimpse into the cockpit where the windshield could certainly be considered to be cracked. I would have listed it more as shattered but whatever, we made it home safe.

Once we got back into the MSP airport I text my brother and buddy and told them: "Well, we're back in MSP." and then went ahead and filled them in on our traveling escapades to that point. The good news was that they had secured another plane for us with a windshield and all the other bells and whistles and they thought we should be able to take off at 2pm. We landed back in MSP around 12:15 so the turnaround was pretty darn impressive!

The flight actually took off at 2:10pm but we had a good flight this go around and made it to Mexico around 6:30pm. We got through customs pretty quick and then got our taxi lined up and got ourselves a couple of cervezas and now we've been drunk for two days....

But the trip to Mexico ended up being pretty exciting and probably a story we'll remember for quite a while, but the thing I'll probably remember most is how some people were complaining about being late for the start of our vacation, and some realizing that there wasn't anything we could do about it other than pray we made it home safe. The birthday girl taught us all a valuable life lesson that day with a simple bracelet that just read, "It is what it is."

A Christmas Story

“So this is Christmas, and what have we done? Another year over, a new one just begun.”

So go the lyrics of a holiday classic brought to us by the infamous John Lennon. It’s a magical time of year where we sort of celebrate the birth of “our lord and savior Jesus Christ,” but really it’s a time to just try and act in a manner that may represent what the story of that person is meant to instill in us. To do unto others and all that Jazz.

I personally am not all that religious of a guy, (I know, big shocker to our consistent readers) but I am a man of faith so to speak. I believe in people and their ability to do good, and this time of year is a great time to really show that spirit. Given all of the crazy terrible things going on around the world, I think we could use a little more of the good and a rest from the wicked. We all could use some of that holiday magic where we forgive the wrong that others have done unto us and we use this holiday to show the ones we love how much they mean to us. The idea isn’t about presents, but presence. Being there and showing we care for each other by actually spending some quality time together. The presents we give to each other may be nice but the main point is to prove we know each other, that we’ve been paying attention and that the things we receive may not be as important as the meaning behind them.

As we grow older our wish lists dwindle as we get jobs and purchase the necessities for ourselves throughout the year, but to give the magic of Christmas to a child is something special. I was recently talking about Santa with some of the kids on my bus and one of the 7^th grade girls told me that she knew that Santa wasn’t real during our discussion of when we open presents for Christmas. I then proceeded to tell her about the time that Santa made a trip to our house, right about the time we started to question his existence as well…

Our tradition is to gather the family at the house on Christmas Eve where we have our Christmas tree which has had a growing number of presents throughout the week underneath it (all from each other), than we would go out looking at Christmas lights while one of our parents would stay behind to assist Santa in putting out all the presents that came from him. When we would come back Santa would have been there and we would be amazed at all of the presents that he had left behind!

Some kids love the surprise, and some seek out their presents before opening them. They shake the ones under the tree and wait for an opportune time to search through all of the possible hiding places in the house where Santa/Mom & Dad may have hidden other presents. You hear stories, and maybe even partook in carefully unwrapping presents to discover what they are before Christmas and then carefully rewrapping them in order to not be discovered. My brother may have been one of these individuals…

When I was just about that age where I was starting to question if Santa was real or not, my brother and I were home alone one day and he came to me and said, “Want to see something?”

I being the younger, dumber brother I quickly said, “Sure!”

He then led me into my parent’s bedroom where he opened up their closet to reveal a plethora of items which we had asked for throughout the year, all waiting to be wrapped, and all of which were more than likely coming from Santa. He also showed me a toy drum set which I had requested from Santa which was being hidden in our garage…at which point our parents returned and found us.

They were furious that we would go snooping around like that and told us that all of the presents were being returned to the store, they even went as far as to load everything back up in the car while we sat there watching, tears filling my face and drenching my shirt. Christmas was ruined.

I now knew that there was no Santa and that I would no longer be getting all of the great toys that I had just moments before discovered. I cried and cried, blamed my brother for everything, told my parents that I hadn’t wanted to go snooping, and as could be predicted completely threw my brother under the bus.

But they were holding firm. There would be no presents except the few we already had under the tree, which in our eyes (after seeing the haul we were going to get) was practically nothing.

Despite knowing that we would not be getting all of those awesome presents, my brother and I were now in make up mode and were on our absolute best behavior for the remainder of the Christmas season. We knew we had messed up and Christmas being our mom’s favorite time of year, we felt like we had almost cheated her out of something as well (It being better to give rather than receive was far beyond our rationale at that age). So we were good, probably better than we had been all year, not because we felt like we could still redeem ourselves enough to save our Christmas, but because we felt bad about what we had done.

So Christmas Eve came and we piled in the car with my dad and two sisters and my mom stayed home to finish the Christmas meal and hang out just in case Santa arrived (which we knew wouldn’t happen because we had been bad, and also because we now knew that there was no Santa, just mom and dad).

We were gone for quite a while checking out all of the beautiful lights our community had put up on their houses to help put them in the Christmas mood, or to make the season special for their families or neighbors, or just because they loved the season. We drove all over the place and for the first time for a long time we weren’t complaining about trying to get back because we knew that there weren’t going to be any of the crazy things we had asked for for Christmas, there was just going to be a few small presents as well as some quality family time. Maybe we would eat and put together a puzzle, or play a hard core game of Yahtzee…and that was going to be enough. We wanted to make the day special for our parents because we knew we had ruined their Christmas and because we were beginning to finally see all of the amazing things they do to make our lives better…I mean, who comes up with a magical person who delivers presents just to make their kids believe that there is magic in this world of ours?

We finished our drive and parked our car in the driveway, not rushing to be the first one in the house as normal, but just slowly walking in talking about what was our favorite display and excited about getting to tell our mom about all of the beautiful lights.

As we entered the house and looked up from our landing, we were shocked to see a large man with a big white beard dressed all in red and white standing at the top of our stairs! Santa hadn’t just been to our house, but he was still there!

We were like the little kids who happen upon Santa away from his typical haunts (the mall photo opt, or ringing the bell for the Salvation Army), we were in awe and very timid. We also figured we were about to get a lecture about how bad we had been that year…which was pretty much what happened.

But he being Santa, and seeing everything in all, he also talked to us about how he had been really impressed with our turn around and wanted us to keep being the good boys he knew we could be. He said that our parents had asked him to talk to us specifically because they thought that we were beginning to believe that he didn’t exist and thought that it would be a shame if we stopped seeing the magic of the season.

As you would imagine we praised everything he was saying, told him we would be the good little boys he knew we could be, promised to not go snooping around in places we shouldn’t be and probably a ton of other things which we inevitably failed to hold to.

Santa wished us all a very Merry Christmas, told us he had parked his sleigh on our back deck and that maybe next year we could see it and pet the reindeer and away he went. I still remember hearing the hooves of the reindeer on our deck as he took off to his next stop.

We then went out to the Christmas tree which was now surrounded by presents, including all of the things we had seen our parents load up to return to the store, Santa had really come through in the end!

So I told this story to the little 7^th grade girl on my bus and although she had been very sure that Santa did not exist I could see now that she was starting to question it a bit. I have never been known to lie to the kids on my bus, so why would I be lying to her now?

Christmas is a magical time of year, not necessarily because of all the things that we receive but because of all that we can give and because hopefully we are able to share it with loved ones. It doesn’t matter what you have under the tree, but who’s there to share the season with you.

As I look back at our Christmas seasons past I think of how hard our parents worked to instill the magic of Christmas upon us all. No matter the circumstances our parents made it a special occasion for us and because of the kind of people they are and were, they had friends that would help out along the way.

When I think of Christmas and its meaning now, I think of the Christmas where we were flat broke and we weren’t going to be able to have any presents at all, but my mom’s best friend Lil Bridgeford, went out and bought us all gifts because she knew how important the holiday was to our mom.

I think about all of the sacrifices my parents made for us, how my mom absolutely loved Christmas, the lights, the decorations, the exchanging of gifts and just getting to spend the holiday with the people she loved and I know that I was very lucky to get to spend my first 22 Christmas seasons with someone like her who always made sure we believed in the magic of Christmas and the goodness of people.

I think at some point my parents told us who played Santa that day for them and how they had made it seem like the sleigh was taking off from our deck, but for the life of me I can’t remember that part of the story. Maybe I just choose not to, maybe to this day I still believe in the magic of Christmas, and maybe you should too.

 

Merry Christmas from all of us at Banana Daiquiris and Life Lessons!

 

 

Some Thoughts on Ferguson

 

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been following all of the events surrounding the shootings in Ferguson and other areas of the country. We saw videos, heard opinions one way and the other and have seen protests not turning ugly, but beginning that way and staying that way. We’ve seen people saying that these incidents were race related and others search out and post information about white people being shot by black officers, further expanding the race divide on the issue. We’ve also seen officers standing up for their fellow officers and whites and blacks jumping their “race line” and defending their opposite race.

The issues have gotten the masses talking about the racial divide and how race issues are almost as bad as they’ve always been, at least in some areas of the country, which is quite a bold if not uneducated determination considering our very tumultuous history, but something is certainly wrong with our current situation.

I did not grow up in a very diverse community. Our school attempted, for a while, to run a foreign exchange program to assist us in learning more about cultures foreign from our own, and help us to dispel some of the prejudices that you may be more prone to, growing up in a single culture area.

The program was great in theory and it definitely led to some lifetime friendships and accomplished the proclaimed goal of exposing all of us (the kids and adults from my town as well as the exchange students) to different ways of life, but ultimately the large scale program failed.

Why?

Because eventually the foreign exchange students grouped together as one unit and the kids from my area as another. They were no longer one harmonious group learning from each other, but they were two groups who focused too much on their differences and not enough on their similarities. The two groups who started as open minded and eager to learn and interact with each other formed prejudices. It may have been a few individuals who turned the groups (which more times than not, proves to be the case) or it could have been baggage passed down from previous generations. But whatever the case there was an igniting incident which led to what can best be described as an all-out melee in our school cafeteria one lunch hour. This led to several other group against group fights and ultimately to the end of what had been a very successful program.

We were lucky enough to still have some families who recognized the importance of learning from each other who still would recruit and welcome in a few foreign exchange students each year, but our large scale program eventually failed all do to a few individuals who incited the masses.

This brings me back to Ferguson. My personal opinion, take it or leave it, is that for the most part we’re dealing with misplaced anger. Too quickly we jump on the race, religion, sex, nationality, or whatever convenient band wagon. We take isolated incidents and turn them into causes. We blow incidents out of proportion and turn a whole group of people against another group of people instead of looking at the specific incident and individuals. Maybe the young man who was shot was completely innocent or completely to blame. Maybe the officer acted exactly as he should and did his job to the letter of the law, or maybe he murdered an innocent man…but the incident involved those two individuals. It certainly affected their families and loved ones, but it was an incident involving not groups, but individuals.

 Too often we group ourselves together, be it by your favorite sports team, the school you attend, the neighborhood you live in, the church you attend, your gender, your race or your nationality. We group ourselves together and forget about ourselves as individuals. When we do this we tend to take isolated incidents and latch onto them as something concerning the whole group. Nobody’s better at establishing “group think” than the people who represent us in government. These individuals are generally the first ones to tell us that these incidents aren’t group but individual related, unless it affects their party line, at which point they of course choose sides and tell you the opposite side is dead wrong…and there’s something wrong with that.

These people and their actions are portrayed in front of us (via television, radio, and multiple other sources) more than any others, and the example they set for everyone is to toe that party line, which can then lead to mean; race, religion, country or whatever line. Do what’s best for the group, damn the consequences and the individual.

So we get Republicans telling us what the Democrats idolize is wrong and vice versa. Not that John Smith made a valid point or that they disagree with that individual, but that he represents his party, so they’re wrong….which in turn leads to; all cops are killers of innocent men, all white people hate black people, all black people break laws, loot and burn down buildings…and quite frankly, that’s bullshit and I, for one, won’t accept it.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover,” is the essence of prejudice and it’s something we may all be guilty of but it needs to stop. Stop grouping individuals and as individuals we need to stop doing it to ourselves as well. We may fall into these sub categories on the surface, but we’re all still very unique people with our own views, opinions, and beliefs. We are not our gender, race, religion, country, political party or any other singularity. We are complex and unique and each one of us is responsible for ourselves and our actions.

”The biggest mistake of people is that they think they do not deserve the good and bad things from their lives.” – Paulo Coelho

My heart goes out to all of the individuals involved in these incidences and I truly hope that you can find some peace.

Don’t look for the differences between you and your fellow man, for you may only find hate. Look for the similarities and hopefully we can find love.

To be, or not to be, thankful.

I wish I had some crazy story to tell you, some hilarious off-the-cuff moment in life that necessitated the near 3-month hiatus from writing that I've had as of late. But the truth is, life happened and I sort of put it in cruise control. I can also be very, very lazy.

But some very, very great life happened within those three months: Whiskey & the Wolves continues to gain momentum, albeit a little slower than I wish; my wife and I moved into our first place together after over two years being married and over seven years of being together; one of my dearest and oldest friends got married over a 4-day weekend extravaganza that might have killed part of my liver but revitalized a part of my heart (the ole' give and take); my old band 9 Paces West reunited for a 6-song set after almost a decade - still got it, but playing power-pop-punk-rock definitely took its toll on my body (getting too old for that shit?); I got to see my parents after a much too long year and a half; and the Minnesota Vikings are dominating the NFL..

Good Times. Good Times.

I wish I could say that life couldn't be better. That would be a lie. And as much bullshit as we sling here at BD&LL, I think we do our best not to lie to you, our readers. Perhaps because we're good people (questionable) but really, honesty makes the best stories and without it, life lessons have no footing. So, honestly, life for me is "Okay" right now. There have been some pretty significant bumps in the road. I struggle some days and want to crawl into bed assuming the fetal position and say 'fuck it' to the outside world. We've - probably - all been there. If you haven't, good for you.

Bad Times. Bad Times.

The former we can choose to be thankful for and let's be honest, it's pretty easy to be thankful for the good times and I think most of us usually are, though we may take them for granted.

The later, we usually choose not to be thankful for. Actually, most of us would take being thankful for the bad times as a proof-positive sign of insanity. And perhaps saying, "be thankful for the bad stuff," is putting it wrong. Maybe it's more like, be thankful for the opportunity to better yourself, to realize what you don't want; be thankful that whatever bad shit happened, it left you standing, if not a little busted up, to see another day. Depending on the significance of the bad stuff, this really is the hardest life lesson to learn. On that level, I'm a poor teacher. The bad stuff I've encountered has been pretty mild compared to those who lose their children, soldiers who lose their friends, political prisoners, and those held in slavery around the world including those crippled by devastating poverty. Those are things I don't think you can be thankful for. But for those who have survived without losing hope, they may be the best life lesson teachers this world has to offer. Out of the terrible comes the beautiful and enlightening.

You can take that as academic BS if you like. I wouldn't blame you. Anyone who has encountered heart breaking moments would erase them if given the chance. But to ignore the travesty of life belies the truth that this stuff happens all the time and if we can't, either individually or collectively, learn to cope and make something better out of them, then we have lost hope. Hope is fundamental to survival. And that's really what this game is all about. Survival. Some of you may have noticed that I attach arbitrary numbers to my life lessons. Well here is one I haven't shared but is scribbled all over in my notebooks. It is is the only life lesson that doesn't have an arbitrary number: Life Lesson 1: Survive. On the one hand, it's a truism, a "life lesson" at its most basic level. On the other hand, I think it reminds us that there are different levels of survival: surviving well, and surviving poorly. I'll let you interpret that as you wish.

I read this somewhere: "Do not regret growing old. It's a privilege denied to many." So be thankful for those gray hairs, aching bones, and the more frequent trips to the neighborhood doc. If those are the worst things to happen to you, remember you're alive, as painful as that can be at times, and that since your conscious, you can reestablish the priorities that make living at least bearable and at best, completely awesome.

If Life is the headmaster, then we are all students. As in any class, some of the best learning happens when the students teach each other. "I get by with a little help from my friends." That's what this blog is about. That's what this life is about.

I hope you found this time of Thanksgiving to be full of the love, hope, and happiness. If not, maybe it's time to reflect on the things that prevent, and the things that may bring along those things. As Jason reminded us with his last post, we can be anything we want. Except an apple. You can't be an apple. But you get it.

I'll close with some incomplete thoughts, some quotes, and general debauchery:

..the Blues comes from the bad times, or rather as a coping mechanism for dealing with the bad times, and the Blues is a beautiful thing.

...it's the darkest nights that make the magnificence of the light of the day so obvious..

"Buy a ticket, take the ride" - Hunter S. Thompson

"Good times, bad times, you know I had my share; When my women left home for a brown-eyed man, well I still don't seem to care." - the Mighty Ones, Led Zeppelin

"The conditions what make things like they is today. Conditions. You know, when you don't have no money, no job, no place to sleep, you go to work, you start thinking evil... So conditions make these things happen today." - Howlin' Wolf

~Mike B.

"What do you want to do when you grow up?"

I got the idea to do a blog on this subject earlier in the year when a discussion centered on this topic came up on my school bus route. I can’t remember how it came about but I started talking to the kids about the subject and the details that they were presenting to me were so fantastic that I thought the sheer fact that it got their imagination going so much was reason enough to cover the subject for BD&LL…but then I got busy.

Things started to slow down recently and the other day I got to drive the senior class over to the elementary here, where the older kids were going to interview the kindergarteners about what they wanted to be when they grow up. After they did their interviews they then got to go back and watch what they had to say about what they wanted to be when they were in kindergarten. We didn’t do this exercise while I was attending good old Lafayette, but I think it’s a wonderful exercise on multiple fronts.

First it lets the young kids use their imaginations. They haven’t been exposed to too many things at this point and have not seen the difficulties that arise throughout one’s life that can effect what they end up choosing to do. The possibilities truly are endless and when it comes down to it some of the most chosen future jobs involve helping others; teacher, policeman, fireman, nurses, doctors and even superhero. But they also want to be actors, writers, marine biologists. They want to make cartoons, run restaurants and hotels, and very few of them want to be the boring stuff. Not one kid I asked said they wanted to be an Actuary…sorry Dan.

It’s not only neat to get these kids going on what they want to be, I think it’s important for us to remember those days ourselves. I think that’s the point of the exercise these seniors were doing and it’s also why I asked the question via our Facebook page.

We may all be able to look at the seniors and say that we get why Cheryl (The RLF English teacher in charge of this project) would have them do it; because they are moving onto one of the most important times in their lives. The following four years (or seven for some of us) will be the time that they not only determine what they want to do, but they will get the schooling needed to do the job and will begin work in their chosen career path, whatever that may be. So having the perspective of what these kindergarteners as well as themselves as kindergarteners want and wanted to be can show them a couple of things:

1.       How unrealistic your expectations are when you are a kid, or

2.       At what point did we forget that we can do anything?

“Somewhere along the line we stopped believing we could do anything. And if we don’t have our dreams, we have nothing.” – Charlie Farmer

While searching for supplemental material for this post, I happened upon this neat little “How To” guide on choosing what to do when you grow up: http://m.wikihow.com/Choose-What-You-Want-to-Be-when-You-Grow-Up

It’s a pretty good example of how to choose your career if money is the only thing that matters, or at least the driving force for you to do anything with your life.

My mom was always very supportive of us doing whatever we chose and helped us to keep that sense that we could do anything. She was also very proud of all of her children and kept just about anything that we did or was printed about us…which allowed me to find this gem in the archives she left behind for us:

So I inferred a few things from this, the most important was that even as a kid I had great hair…and fashion sense. Secondly, I was inspired by a person (Mr. Dressup) that literally could become and do anything. And finally, I think I’m beginning to think I was raised in Canada…check out the Wikipedia Page for Mr. Dressup. (The first concert I ever went to was also Fred Penner).

The reason for the exercise the seniors at Lafayette did is the same reasons I asked the question through our Facebook page. Not because I wanted my friends to look back and be disappointed with what may have been, but so that they would look back at the time when they thought that they could do anything, and hopefully remember that they still can. Too often we settle, we tell ourselves that I wish I could have done this or that, and we forget that most things are still within our reach. That if something makes us happy, that it’s worth pursuing.

You may read this and say, this guy doesn’t have the things that I have in my life. He may still be able to drop everything and do something different, or take those chances, but I have other people that depend on me to continue to do what I’m doing.

Here’s a little something for you to consider…when I first went to college I had several much older people in my classes. I thought it was a little weird that such old people were taking freshman English with me, but they had a goal in mind, something they felt passionate about, something that they thought would make them happy. These people had wives and husbands, as well as kids but they didn’t take that as a detriment to their goal but a reason for accomplishing it. They wanted to not only prove to themselves, but also to their loved ones, that it’s never too late to do the things you always wanted to do, in short…they were trying to prove to themselves as well as others, that you’re never too old to do anything.

The funny thing is I think we all see the stories of the businessman who quit his job to become a teacher, or the accountant who got his shot in the NFL, or even the person who just took a year off of their job to write that novel they’ve always wanted to. We hear these stories and we think to ourselves, “How great would that be if I could do something like that?” Well here’s the story, you can.

I think it’s important for us to hang onto those dreams of “What do you want to be when you grow up?” One thing is for certain, not one of us can ever tell for sure what tomorrow will bring, but we can look back at our life and all those crazy dreams we had when we were kids and wonder what if?

The point of this post is to remind you that you can do anything. The point of the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up,” is that at one point you believed that and I think it’s time we all start believing it again. Life happens pretty fast, and you may say to yourself that your time has past…but as long as you’re still here…you still have the time and the resources to do what makes you happy. Let’s show the little kids in us and the little ones around us that it’s never too late to do what makes you happy, whatever that may be.

When the seniors who did the interviews with the kindergartners this year get to look at their videos from when they were in the little ones shoes, I’m willing to bet at least a few of them will say to their friends, “I can’t believe that I wanted to be a marine biologist!” and laugh it off, but somewhere deep down inside of them, I bet they wish they could go back to that time when they believed they could do that, or anything else. When I asked the question, I hope those of you who responded got that same feeling and the ones that didn’t as well. I hope that you remembered, however briefly, that you once knew you could do anything…and maybe someday here, you’ll believe in you again.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.” – Soren Kierkegaard

A few links you may want to check out:

A great Huffington Post article about “What to do when yougrow up.”

A couple quizzes ( TestQ & Buzzfeed) designed to help you find out what to do, but if you just google this you’ll find tons of these!

And finally, the Top 15 jobs kids want to do when they grow up!

Thanks for reading, now go and do what makes you happy, the thing you’d do if money didn’t matter, because in the end, time is the only currency that matters. Spend yours wisely!

Regrets

I know what you’re thinking…what did he do now in some random bar with some random girl…the good news is it’s been a while since I’ve spent any time in the bar and even longer since I’ve made any new memories with a lovely member of the opposite sex. No, this blog is about the past, the present and the future. It’s about something we all try to make it through this life without having but inevitably end up making.

I was recently having a conversation with a co-worker and he mentioned that he recently got together with a group of guys he hung out with in high school. He’s now nearing age 50 and this was a core group of friends that he spent many of the “glory days” with, and they wanted to get together to reminisce about old times.

He said that he had spent a lot of time with these guys growing up but around his junior year he started going in a bit of different direction and while they all attended college, graduated and ended up with really good corporate jobs, he had tried college, didn’t like it and now runs a farm, a repair shop, and is the head of a pretty big township as well.

During their conversation they talked about college, all the crazy and fun things they did and how much fun they had, meanwhile my friend was thinking to himself how he felt out of place and began to regret that he did not have a similar experience as these former classmates. I told him that I had gone to college, lived it up and partied all of the time. Spent way too much time and money at the endeavor but finally walked away with a degree but in the end I wasn’t really doing anything with that degree, other than my summer business. When it came down to it, I was doing a lot of the same things as him, but probably started with much more debt.

There was certainly a time when I considered not finishing out my degree. I certainly could have done the things I’m doing now without one, but during my hiatus from school I felt a sense of regret for not finishing, so I went back, took the courses, got the degree and now it sits gathering dust on one of my many book shelves…which one…I mean, which one?! Where the heck is that thing?!

What I’m kind of trying to get across, is that if anyone gets through this life with no regrets, than they probably didn’t spend a whole lot of time living their lives. Regrets aren’t something that you necessarily see while they’re happening, in fact during your life you’re going to have several incidents where everything feels like it’s working out as planned, until the proverbial lemons sneak onto the scene and you’re left without the pitcher to make the lemonade. Bottom line is that you don’t know you’re living a regret until you’ve lived through it, some time has elapsed and you reflect on the situation. You then look back at it and say to yourself, well I wish I had…or, I wish I hadn’t.

You’ve probably seen or heard something along the lines of, “In the end you regret the things you didn’t do far more than the ones you did.” This is a great quote, but also a way of living to ensure that you have several new regrets all of the time.

I like to think of myself as a bit of a risk taker. You can probably see that by my many failed attempts at meeting new girls, or just reading of any of our random adventures through this blog. I’m never afraid to trust new people or try new things, which is a great way to live…but most of my biggest regrets come from some of these situations where I’m trying to live an open, bold life.

Another great quote goes something like, “What you think of as your worst regrets are only lessons learned.” I know I butchered that and I should have gotten it spot on since I’m kind of the “Life Lesson” guy but I think it kind of misses the point any way. Sure you learn a lesson every time you make a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you don’t regret making the mistake. You see hundreds of people every day that didn’t make your same mistake, but they seem to be doing just fine and probably knew the lesson in advance. Hell, you knew the lesson...you just didn’t know you were going to learn it again, until it was too late.

What about the workout where you try to leap a cavern and die?

Most of us try to live in the moment, even if you don’t think that’s what you’re doing, it is. You live your life, things unfold and they can either be good or bad. My mom always use to say that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans. It’s a common quote but it’s also one of the truest definitions of life that I’ve ever seen. Things aren’t, until they are…and even then they can still go back to aren’t once again (confused?).

I have all kinds of things I can look back on and call regrets. I’ve taken a lot of chances in my life and sometimes those chances didn’t pay off, other times they were just plain old stupid decisions. There’s an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the main character goes through a whole night having his decisions judged by the Knight from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (In case you aren’t familiar with the scene, the Knight tells the bad guy and Indiana to choose a cup that they believe to be the Holy Grail. The bad guy chooses a really fancy cup, drinks from it and shrivels up and explodes, to which the Knight replies, “He chose poorly.”). In this episode, Ted (the main character from HIMYM), picks the wrong girl, and continues to make poor decisions throughout the entire episode but as the whole show is told through the eyes of Ted 20 years down the road, he sees that what at first seemed like a night full of regrets, eventually led him to meeting the right one and may have been a blessing in disguise.

While watching this episode I certainly related to the type of night he was having and have definitely been in Ted’s shoes before, but I think the reflection of his past shows us that some things we regret having to had go through are simply life. You still regret, we all do, Katherine Hepburn puts it best here:

 

So I said this was going to be about the past, present and future. I’ve touched on the past and talked a bit about the present and kind of tip toed around the future, but while I was looking for pictures to accompany this post I found this quote kind which kind of summarizes everything I’ve been saying the best:

 

As Charles Bukowski said, “What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” In essence, shit happens. You have to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and carry on. If you don’t come out of a regret smelling like roses, redefine what roses are. You have it in you to start anew and make your tomorrows better than your yesterdays. Learn your lessons, try not to make the same mistakes, have regrets but don’t stop taking chances. Life’s not meant to be played safe, it’s meant to be lived.

My biggest regret lately…that it’s taken us this long to get to blog post 100. That’s right, this marks triple digits for this little past time of ours which means that if you’ve been keeping up reading every post, then you’ve pretty much read yourself a regular length novel and it’s only taken you like three years to do it! Congratulations you!

Thanks for reading, and here’s to another 100!

The Banana Bowl Live Draft Extravaganza - Part 1

I’m starting to think that this whole blogging experience is just a way for me to get rid of some of my demons. A sort of internet confession to absolve me from my sins…and I’d like it to be more than that. I want it to be a blog that you turn to for inspiration, for ways to really get out there and live your life to the fullest. I would like it to be the first thing you turn to in the morning because you know it’s going to put you in a good mood right to start your day…in short, I’d like it to become part of your 100 Days of Happiness, or BDandLL Happy Days…

But, I haven’t done anything really inspirational lately and I’d like to take a minute here today, to tell you about the shenanigans that took place just over a week ago during what we at BDandLL refer to as: The Banana Bowl Live Draft Extravaganza!

This year’s draft weekend began the Friday night at what we are affectionately referring to as, “The Fucking Catalina Wine Mixer.” Barry and a few of his banker friends started a tradition a few years ago where they go to this soiree  at a ritzy golf course and enjoy a fine German cuisine and all you can drink beer for a measly $20 from 5:30pm – 8:30pm. This year marks their 3^rd annual attendance and it just so happened to fall on the weekend of The Banana Bowl Life Draft Extravaganza!

Ryan and I arrived at around 7pm, enjoyed a nice plate of Brats, German potatoes, and some delectable beans and then began to attempt to empty a beer truck. By 8:30 I was preparing for the next day’s draft by trading away players I didn’t even have, then making calls to try and secure those players so that the first deal could go through. The wheels were in motion, the plan was going down exactly how I had planned and by the end of the ordeal I ended up with Matt Prater (Kicker – Denver) for the first round of drinks at the draft…it seemed like a lot of work to just end up with a kicker, especially a suspended one, but Cam (the guy I got him from) was devastated and that made it completely worth it.

For some reason Cam decided he needed to purchase a bag of Brats as we left...
No one knows what happened to these brats.

Somehow we felt like the next logical move for us would be to head downtown  and keep our little party going, so we went to our old standby, “Rooters.” When we arrived we quickly realized that we were very old (relatively) and out of place. The place still smells like week old stale beer, though, and that brought back many fond memories of our time spent there while attending my pre-med school thingy at MSU-M (it must have been pre-med for how long I spent there…although I can’t find my certificate or whatever you call it anywhere…).

We exited “Rooters” and had no real idea of what a better bar may be for our current age situation and intoxication level…we were looking for something in the early 30’s Intoxicated genre but weren’t exactly sure of where to find it…that’s when I remembered a few guests that had spent a night with us at our campground who worked at a new bar downtown called, “The Wurst Beer House.” And our German night was going to continue!

We’re lucky that Cameron was familiar with the newer bar scene in downtown Fargo as I really had no idea where to find this bar, I just knew that I wanted to go to there… We arrived and immediately felt more at home because we could actually hear each other talk and people were sitting at tables rather than standing or playing pool or darts…let's face it, this had early 30’s Intoxicated (and lazy) written all over it, and was the perfect place for us to continue our night! On top of the perfect layout and décor, individuals at just about all of the tables were drinking out of giant boot glasses, just like in the cinematic adventure, “Beerfest!”

As we sauntered by a table admiring some of this fine glassware, someone at the table said: “Why don’t you join us?” I looked up from my trance to discover three lovely ladies were the ones holding the boot (I’m not totally sure on the “loveliness” of the ladies as I had spent a good portion of my night at an all you can drink event, but at that moment, in that place…they were the most beautiful, kind, and caring creatures I had ever laid eyes on).

I honestly don’t know what I was more interested in, the beautiful young ladies or the boot…that may cause me future problems…but one thing was for sure, at one point I traded them Matt Prater (Kicker – Denver) for a boot, which they in turn traded to our waiter to deliver a boot to our other table. Long story short…the waiter at The Wurst Beer House now owns the rights to Matt Prater (Kicker – Denver).

I found a much better picture of this lovely lady on my phone, but I wanted you
all to see her how I remember her..through the eyes of beer goggles.

It was draft weekend after all. We also discovered, at some point during the night, that Cordarrelle Patterson (Wide Receiver – MN) was going by the nickname, The Flash. Now for those of you who don’t know, there is only one “Flash,” and he won that title in a naked race years ago and the only way anyone else can go by the moniker is if they beat him in a naked race, which Cordarrelle Patterson (Wide Receiver – MN) had not…so we called him out on Twitter:

We take this nickname thing pretty serious.

Man, I’m really starting to love Twitter! So, we had some good food, great friends, some possibly beautiful new friends, and boots filled with beer…but, as it does, time slipped by, the girls had to leave (not with us), the bar decided that it was time to polish the boots and put them to us 30-something drunks to get us out of the bar and the remaining members of our crew decided it was now time for some Drunken Noodle (Restaurant – Fargo)…

I think I’ll take a page out of Barry’s book here and make this a two part post, but I may actually come to a conclusion with mine…whatever did come of that 3^rd part of his trilogy?! Anyway, enjoy this post and I’ll tell you all about the main event of The Banana Bowl Live Draft Extravaganza in my next post, pre-warning…it may involve more alcohol, dancing, karaoke…and maybe, just maybe…another random bar make out session…I really need to find Jesus…If you guys see him let me know, he’s about 5’ 11” and really knows his way around a garden sheers.

I am the Red Mage.

I awoke this morning, stepped out into the bright light fusion-core drive of our cosmic armada - system de sol - feet comfortably planted on the deck level of Spaceship Earth, walked to the public center of the enclave zombie-fortress residential quarters, and bought myself a Mountain Dew. Pepsi was sold out. I know once you turn 30 you should probably not drink the Dew. It is an age after all where one is gearing up to stagger through at least another 30 to 40 and every soda-pop drunk after 30 eliminates 2 years from your end game. It's the delicious 290 calories of high fructose corn syrup. I'm hyped up on Mountain Dew and operating a keyboard irresponsibly under the influence of super sugar.

Texting (cuz it's 2014, it's what we do now) with a good friend recently about writing, gaming, finding time to do either, video-game addiction, and writers talking about writers, I was reminded of an idea for a blog post that I never got around to writing entitled "I am the Red Mage." The meaning of which I will get to, but suffice to say this is my experience with writing so far: 'that's a great idea' *write it down* 'I'll get that knocked out this weekend' *procrastinate* *forget* 'I need to post, I need to write, but what about?!' *play video games*

Had I wrote this post when I thought of it, there is ample anecdotal evidence it would have been the best blog in the world. Alas, I can't remember what it all was going to entail. So this is just a tribute, to the greatest blog in the world, I am the Red Mage:

For as long as I can remember I've liked books and I've liked video games. I remember going over to a neighbor's place to play Atari (Pitfall, Joust), begging my cousins to let me play their NES (they had all the sweet games like Duck Tales, Chip 'n Dale Rescue Rangers. Kirby) or my uncles had P.O.W., Baoyou Billy, Tecmo Super Bowl. The day my very own NES system arrived, that was really the game changer. It came home with Super Mario Bros/Duck Hunt and Rad Racer II. I was pretty young at the time, and I remember bugging my mom to make the really hard jumps in Mario, and Rad Racer II was, like most NES games, borderline impossible.

I learned to swear because of these goats. Pain in the ass
Himalayan level!

I could go on name dropping NES games that I played through those first years of gaming. Castlevania I-III, Baseball Stars, CONTRA!!, etc. And I kept faithful to the 8-bit NES and was bitter when Nintendo Power started featuring mostly games from the 16-bit "Super" NES. Psh. I wasn't getting one of those any time soon, so wtf? I never did get one actually, jumped right to the Playstation from the NES with a brief interlude with Sega Genesis (Mortal Kombat?!). But I did rock out some sweet Super NES days with a couple good buddies later in life (Phalanx, Rock 'n Roll Racing, Super Mario World). Those were the days.. sigh.

However, there was one game that forever changed my perspective on gaming and established, really, my genre of choice when it comes to "wasting" time with video games. Final Fantasy. The cover of that game, the music, the storyline is forever embedded in my brain. If I lose my memory in old age, or if I ever suffer from amnesia, just mention this game and along with the plight of the Light Warriors defeating the fiends of earth, fire, water, and wind (Lich, Kary, Kraken, Tiamat, respectively), igniting the 4 elemental orbs allowing them to travel 2000 years into the past to defeat Garland/Chaos in the Temple of Fiends, closing the time loop and saving the world from non-existence, and the rest of my memory should return.

This was my first experience with a "Roleplaying" game set in a fantasy or "high" fantasy world (think Lord of the Rings), and I've played many since. Including other Final Fantasy games. But yes, yes the point of this, beyond the shameless recalling of my gaming history.

In Final Fantasy you had to select 4 characters that would be your "party" for the entirety of the game. You could select from Warrior, Thief, Black Belt, White Mage, Black Mage, and, wait for it, Red Mage. The Warrior specialized in heavy armor and weapons, the Thief in combat and the ability to get your party out of battles it couldn't handle, the Black Belt became a unarmed combat specialist, the White Mage in white magic (healing, enhancements, etc.), the Black Mage in offensive/black magic (FIRE 3 Bitches!!) and the Red Mage was a jack of all trades and master of none. He could use weapons, white magic, and black magic, just not the highest levels of any of them. 

Sweet Swashbuckling Hat Wearing, Magic and
Sword Wielding Red Mage!

So if you haven't put it together yet, here is what I mean when I say I am the Red Mage: I weave both black and white magic and practice daily with a scimitar. Still looking for that sweet hat/cape combo but I stole the feather from a bald eagle I was drinking bourbon with a few years ago as we discussed existentialism. Pretty straight forward this time. No metaphors and such. That would make today's BD&LL a non-fiction piece.

Well, actually. My point is this. I've done a lot of random things, practice quite a few hobbies, held a lot of odd-jobs, and possess a pretty good smattering of related and unrelated skills. I won't rehash them here, but take a quick look at my bio to get an idea. But because I don't feel I've mastered any of these and seem to be floating in career-limbo while my peers are locking in theirs, I am left identifying with our red light warrior acquaintance.

Here's the thing, some days I really care and am bothered by this. It gets me down. I'm 30. I should be locking in my job, getting promotions, buying a house, getting a mini-van to put my 2.1 kids through grade school while complaining about my mortgage and worrying about my 401k. You know, Living the American Dream.

Otherdays, I'm grateful I don't have some of those things. That I have experienced a slightly wider range of what life offers than a majority of folks. It's not that I believe the American Dream is completely evil ;), but there are many things about it that I just can't get behind and I get exhausted feeling guilty about it.

The great philosophizing-pop-punk mega trio Green Day once asked "if you feel like a social tool without a use?" Sometimes, yes. Other days, I feel like a Swiss Army Knife.

Fin.

Epilogue: BD&LL Happy Days

This has become a normal Friday night at Bombshelter Rehearsal
Studios. Set up to practice, write, create music. It's a great
refuge from the 'real' world.

I spent most of my Labor Day recovering from Sunday
and reading the philosophy of Paolo Soleri. I understand about an
1/8th of this most of the time. An additional 1/16th with every fifth
re-reading, but that is really enough to feel the brain explosions.

Whiskey & the Wolves' first 'gig'. Open Mic
night in Long Beach. It had been 8 years since
the last time I had performed. Felt absolutely great
to get back on the horse.

My good friend, Tyler, posted a great piece on Bill Murray that gave me some honest LOLs. The deaths of Robin Williams and Phillip Seymour Hoffman remind me of the great exposure that celebrity passings usually bring  and that we tend to celebrate them more when they are gone. With Bill Murray, we shouldn't wait until then. The stuff this guys does alive will far outshine any celebration we could put on after his death. Check out these reads, you won't be disappointed:

What it's like casting Bill Murray in a movie

Bill Murray shows up at Toronto 'Ghostbusters' screening, answers fan questions

~Until we cross paths again, BD&LL faithful.