Men's Weekend

Every now and again, my buddy’s wives let them out to play with me…what a terrible idea on their part! This past weekend the boys were left to fend for themselves and were given a weekend to live vicariously through their single friend, which we all took full advantage of!

First of all, no one was maced, tased, stabbed, shot, and not a single one of us were involved in any underground drug deals…we’re growing up rather nicely. We have a pretty awesome group of guys if I do say so myself. We can pretty much turn any situation into an unbelievable time as long as we’re hanging out together. We don’t try to get ourselves into too much trouble and we’re all pretty easy going guys so fights simply don’t happen and the only controversy that we generally run into is when we accidentally misplace one or more of the group or maybe stumble a bit and consequently are no longer allowed into some bars…but thankfully there are plenty of bars in Minneapolis and they don’t all have the same definition of “intoxicated individuals.”

The main reason for the trip was to get together with a bunch of our buddies before some big changes that will be happening for them. Two of my greatest friends are about to become fathers for the first time and a third will become a father for the third time! I can’t tell you just how excited I am for all of them…but I’m a little worried that the wives know me too well and our little get togethers may become limited shortly here, but that’s alright, I like their wives almost as much so I’ll just take them out when I can’t hang out with the guys! That’s right ladies, pop those babies out already then we’re going clubbing!

One of our fellow bloggers and one of the members of the group who participated in last weekends activities just got back from Washington, D.C. with his wife and might have had the hardest time convincing his wife that he should probably go on this trip with us, so he was busy explaining to her how we’re not as crazy as we use to be when we get together, how we’re definitely more mature now and it will be a much more laid back weekend than she might think…when he showed up at his house we were already waiting for him, parked on his front lawn and raiding his fridge for beer…his wife was probably not too terribly impressed…but remember, we’re going clubbing!

We’re pretty lucky to have a guy in our group who doesn’t really like to drink that much and is generally our designated driver, so that meant that by the time we reached my sister and brother-in-law’s place on Friday night we had hit a bar or two between Mentor and St. Louis Park…I believe it was two. We arrived in St. Louis Park and were immediately greeted with hugs and beers for everyone in the group, we’re a really close knit group…we’re huggers, and the alcohol makes us even more so…

After sitting around and watching some very entertaining Key and Peele videos at my sister’s place we decided that we might as well hit up some Park Tavern action to see if we could sing a little karaoke or bowl a little bit. Neither were options when we got there but we were able to have a few more cocktails and get caught up a bit more as we really don’t get to see each other very often any more. I think if we all lived really close to each other we would be pretty darn happy guys, the wives…maybe not so much (but remember, we’re going clubbing ladies!).

As our nights often end when we’re all together, we got back to my sister’s place and B.S.ed until about 5am and then somehow woke up early enough to make it to the tailgating for the Gopher game the next day…somehow it seems like at least three of us always end up in the same bed too, so if the wives are wondering if there was any extra curricular’s going on…I can say there were no girls involved at least…

So, the main event that we wanted to get together for was the Gopher’s vs. Nebraska football game…well the main reason we wanted to get together is just to get together, but apparently when you get married your significant other wants a little more reason then you just going to get drunk with your buddies. Turns out single life isn’t so bad!

We got our Gopher tickets through someone that one of our buddies works with and met up with them to tailgate, but as they were all pretty much Nebraska fans we just ate their food and stole their football to play catch with. So for our entertainment we started off with a good old fashion game of paper, rock, scissors…and because our group is who we are, we were obviously having more fun than anyone else in the whole lot. It takes very little to entertain people who truly enjoy one another’s company.

I feel like there’s a lot to cover in this blog so I’m going to go ahead and spare you the play-by-play of the game but it was pretty darn awesome. We hadn’t beat Nebraska in something like 50 years and we were able to pull off the victory! I randomly ran into one of my high school classmates while we were at the game too! She’s a reader of the blog and also was my prom date in high school. We went to the same city for college as well and she use to like to tell all of the people we met that she stole my virginity on prom night…and she just went ahead and introduced herself to all of my buddies the same way at the game…at least that’s how I remember it happening.

So we won! We had already been celebrating the victory for the past couple of days but now we really had a reason to let loose! We ran over to grab a bite after the game at the…crap…um restaurant (maybe I drank too much), where we were able to meet a very lovely woman by the name of Lindsay who happened to work for Sunday Night Football and was in town to cover the game. We were able to take a few photos with her, talk to her for quite a while and then one of the guys hailed her a cab so that she could get back uptown where they were doing a charity event later in the night. We also met up with my sister and her friends and continued to celebrate.

Our new friend Lindsay with a couple of the BDandLL boys!

We decided that it would be best to head to Uptown so that we could spend some more quality time with our new friend Lindsay and also get a chance to tour the SNF bus! The event was held at Bar Abilene where I think we ate for the fifteenth time that day or so, and also decided to celebrate a little more. We got there a little bit before the event so there was plenty of time to celebrate. At some point during our celebrating my one buddy called one of the bar tenders “Jamal” just randomly and the guy looked at him like, “what the hell?!” Later, I ran across him in the bathroom and was able to convince him to go up to my buddy and tell him that he better watch his back and that he was going to knife him in the parking lot, classic Jay.

When the guy went up to my buddy, he was so shocked he was speechless…and I’m pretty sure needed a change of pants. My brother, (who knew I had convinced the guy to do it) told him very seriously that he better go and apologize, but my buddy had no idea what he had done. So, he goes to apologize and he’s so nervous and has no idea what’s going on and what to expect and the guy finally lets him in on the joke, but for about ten minutes there I’m pretty sure my buddy’s life was flashing before his eyes…priceless.

Next big event of the night, Carl Eller shows up! One of the Purple People Eaters and probably one of the main reason’s anyone still call themselves Vikings fans. We had the opportunity to meet Jim Marshall when we were kids as well when he came up to play in a “Celebrity” softball game during a Klingon Language camp that use to be held at our campground. I think it was one of the biggest moments in my mom’s life as we were featured on Entertainment Tonight because of it…yeah, we’re kind of a big deal…or maybe she just was!

One of my buddies tried to tell Mr. Eller that his cousin had dated Mr. Eller’s son and it was pretty awesome how easily he blew off my buddy! I believe it went something like, “Oh, yeah! That’s great. O.K. then…” (Thumbs up, then walks away). Classic Carl.

We were able to talk to him a bit later on, though, and spoke to him about our charity basketball tournament and he seemed really interested in trying to get us something to help us out with our charity auction we hold that weekend too, even gave me his card…boom mom, I finally made it too!

So, Carl Eller is awesome. Fact. Fact number 2, our new friend Lindsay…also pretty awesome.

So, Lindsay is working her way into being a real big deal in the sports broadcasting industry. She is unbelievably personable, seems to be a very smart and funny girl, knows far more than me (or probably most guys) about most sports, and not too hard on the eyes either. She even put up with a bunch of random Northern Minnesota guys for most of the night. I had a pretty good conversation with her at the end of the night (hers not ours) too. I told her that I’m not looking for anything serious, that I have girlfriends in a bunch of different areas but that I didn’t have a New York one, so I could maybe let her take me out to a nice dinner next time she happened to be in Minnesota. I think we’re also going to play Madden with our perspective buses going to the winner. I would get the SNF bus and she would get the Voyageur’s “Totally Topless Tubing Transit.” She definitely gets the better end of the deal, but I’m not sacred…its been like three years since I’ve played the game but my smack talk hasn’t missed a beat.

My sister and her friends also took off at this point which left the boys to fend for themselves once again, and this time we didn’t do as good of a job. The next few hours had us losing each other throughout Uptown Minneapolis, our group of seven soon became two and the two remaining ones just said, you know what…I just want to dance, so we went clubbing.

At some point we looked over and another one of our buddies happened to be on the dance floor, we don’t know how he got there and neither does he, but he got there. He said that his phone had died so he tried to get some random girl to give me a call…but he couldn’t remember my phone number, so he had her add me on Facebook, ahh technology! Really, it didn’t matter, though, because I was far too busy clubbing to pay any attention to my phone. But the music must have taken a hold of him, like it did us, and before long we were reunited!

Shortly after our first reunion, another one of our friends randomly resurfaced. This one wasn’t as surprising as he somehow has a tendency to disappear for hours than always end up at the same place we all are to end the night, I don’t know how he does it but its unbelievable. I bet all the wives are wondering, whom the hell is he talking about and what the hell was he doing?! Turns out he had been with the other part of the group and when they decided to call it a night he decided to find the rest of us. The guy is like a bloodhound for his buddies, no clue how he does it.

We finally decided to call it a night when they told us that they were now closing the bar and that we had to leave…seemed like a good time to head home. We then decided to share a cab with some random girl at the end of the night, and although my memory is pretty foggy of everything after the football game, I think she was pretty good looking and somehow by the time we got her back to her place she and I had been messing around a little bit. We were hanging out in front of her place and the cabby was trying to convince me that I had to stay with her, that’s right, the cabby. He was taking photos and I swear he goes, “come on Jay, you got this!” The cabby and I are on a first name basis apparently, and it turns out he’s my wingman. But, I’m pretty sure we were now in the ghetto and it was one of those nights where it was just time to go home.

I knew I had made the right decision when I woke up in the cab and we were sitting in some random cul-de-sac and my wingman was nudging me saying, “Seriously, I need an address.” Turns out the last four standing were now all passed out in the cab. We finally were able to make it back to my sister’s place and three of us got out of the cab and got to the door of the house before we realized that our forth buddy was still passed out in the cab. Thank god, my wingman had my back.

So, we had a fantastic weekend. We don’t get to see each other too often anymore but when we do it’s like we never left each other. I’m pretty sure I have the greatest friends in the world, including Carl, Lindsay, and the cabby.

On a side note, I’ve been on a bit of a working and partying bender as of late as I’ve had buddies leaving for far away lands, friends having babies, friends visiting from other states, and sometimes I just felt like I needed to club. Because of this I have not had a whole lot of time to work out, but tonight I attempted to get back on track after about a month…turns out you can’t just start where you left off after being so terrible to your body for so long. So I couldn’t hop on the treadmill and go six miles no problem, 1.5 just about killed me as a matter of fact. I think it would be pretty easy to give up, especially since I wanted to figure out how to do leg lifts correctly and I happened across a video of Brooke Burke demonstrating them…it would have been really easy to just watch those videos instead of actually working out. But, sometimes starting over isn’t the worst thing in the world. It sucks to start with, but I think I’ll get back into it pretty easily now…hopefully I don’t have to see any of my friends for quite some time! I have a few months before the ladies will be ready for their night out clubbing with me, and it may take me that long to recover from this past weekend…

Good night folks, I’m throwing in the towel for the night!

The Slow Clap

 

 

Given the title of this blog, and some of our past posts, you may all assume that myself and the rest of the BDandLL crew had a few too many daiquiri’s and are now battling a venereal disease…I assure you this is not the case, we are not battling the clap…alcoholism is another story completely…

I can’t remember how old I was at the time, I think I was probably around 15, but my parents decided to celebrate their 25^th wedding anniversary by going somewhere my mom had always wanted to go…Hawaii! Even better was the fact that they decided that the whole family should go with as well, so something my mom had waited her whole life to do was something I was going to be able to check off of my list by a very young age, how awesome are my parents?!

The trip was amazing, I had never seen such beautiful things in all my life and getting to experience them with my whole family was a real treat. Looking back at it now that my mom is gone makes it all that much more special. But the memories we shared together here and everywhere as well as the values she instilled in me, and really everything that I am, make it so I will always have my parents with me, even if they can’t always physically be here. My mom’s voice is always floating around in my head helping me to make difficult decisions as well as knowing that it’s alright to let loose and truly live my life. I think both my parents have taught me the great values it takes to truly be a leader of men…and that’s where this blog is headed…

So, we’re in Hawaii…I’m 15, and having the time of my life. Who gets to do this right?! There were two events that made the trip for me, the first was an authentic Luau out in the jungle where they roasted a pig in the ground with palm leaves, the way it’s supposed to be done! The food was amazing, and after dinner there were all of these Polynesian dancers that came onto the stage to perform for everyone. After a while of performing they asked for volunteers from the audience to join them on stage, who actually volunteers for something like that?! As no one volunteered, they sent the dancers into the crowd to gather volunteers. It’s easy to turn this opportunity down when someone is asking you to do it over a microphone, but when they send out all these beautiful people to gather you up it becomes a little bit more difficult.

They came to our table to see if we would join them and believe it or not, I was a bit more of an introvert at this time and my brother really had to pretty much drag me onto the stage with him, saying that we might not ever get a chance to do something like this again, but I still went very reluctantly.

After a brief lesson on how to “hula,” they began a dance competition amongst all of the volunteers, which I think was pretty much just designed to get everyone out of their comfort zone and make them have fun. There’s a line from “Almost Famous” that comes to mind here, the lead singer tells the main character, a reporter, that he finds the one person in the crowd that isn’t getting off and makes them get off!” Well, apparently I was that one person. I was very nervous and obviously not really letting loose, so somehow they determined that I was the winner of the dance contest. What did I win? An opportunity to dance with a Polynesian princess…I shit you not. Fifteen years old and I was already ruined. How can any experience I have from here on out really compare to that?! Fifteen years later I still have the grass head dress she gave me after she kissed me on the cheek after our dance. Maybe it wasn’t that intimate being there were about 400 people there watching us, but more than anything the experience got me out of my comfort zone and showed me that life can be a real joy when you get out there and allow yourself to experience everything it has to offer.

The next day we went to another Luau, I was now officially on the circuit and decided I wasn’t leaving Hawaii without my own Polynesian princess…

This Luau was in the middle of the city and wasn’t very authentic, but the food was great and the entertainment was very good as well. Once again they gathered volunteers from the audience to come participate in the dance, but these guys were nowhere as good as the crew from the night before…

As I was not a dancer this time, we watched as the other people got their chance to get out of their comfort zones and really have a great experience themselves. But something about the music just took a hold of me, and that’s when the greatest moment of my entire life occurred…I began a slow clap.

It started small, just me. Then a few of my family members joined in, a little faster. Than the whole table took up with us, then the next, and the next! Before you knew it, something like 500 to 1,000 people were clapping in unison to the music, and I had started it all! The power immediately went to my head. There were a few other attempts to get it going again later by other individuals, but they never really took. It was an amazing moment shared by the entire crowd where we really became one, and it could have only been in that moment and it could only have been started by the true love of that beautiful Polynesian princess…but alas, we were not meant to be. She tried to get back with the world famous “slow clapper” but our moment, like the moment for the slow clap had lapsed. We’ll always have that very special dance together but we were both destined for other things…I sure hope she’s doing alright.

I think that trip to Hawaii awakened something in me. I started really putting myself out there a lot more after that. I think I started to figure out that we all only have this one life that we’re given and that it’s important to live it to the fullest. I struggle with the ups and downs of life as everyone else does, but at the end of the day I think I can safely say I leave it all out on the field. I make the most out of my experiences and relationships and have very few regrets in my life. I believe that people in general want to do good and I believe that for good reasons.

Each year we host a charity basketball tournament called “Hoops for Hope,” which raises money for cancer research. This April will be our 9^th year hosting the tournament and each year we have been able to raise more money than the previous year. We also get more participants and more and more people are not only getting involved with our event but are getting more and more involved with the organization we donate our money to, The V Foundation for Cancer Research. Now I started this blog by talking about leadership and the title of this blog is “The Slow Clap.” Can you see how such organizations as ours are very similar to that event that happened to me back in Hawaii?! A few of us got together and wanted to do something special to help find a cure for cancer…then a few more joined us, then a few more. We have now raised over $160,000 for cancer research through our event…clap.

I’ve really taken a liking to this Kid President kid as well. If you found this blog post through my Facebook page, than I’m sure you’ve seen me post several videos of this kid doing his thing. He is a true inspiration and I wish we could all heed his words a little more. Right now he has a “Socktober” campaign going where he is trying to get everyone to gather up donations for homeless shelters across the nation, world, universe! Clap.

It truly is amazing when you think about it. Fifteen years ago I got it in my head that I could get a group of people to come together to do something pretty cool together, and we did it. The timing was right and let’s face it, the motivation was there too. The confidence I got from the event the night before told me I could do anything…but can’t we all do anything? Clap

The first step to starting a slow clap is knowing the timing is right, I’m here to tell you that the timing is right. There is no day like today! What’s your slow clap going to be? I’m more than willing to be here to help you keep it going. Clap

Oktoberfest!

I don’t have a lot of time…Sons of Anarchy is about to come on and I’m pretty sure I’m going to lose what little motivation got me to this point (it was a 10 minute nap).

This past weekend we celebrated Oktoberfest in Fargo with our traditional pub-crawl…, which we’ve only done twice, and there was a year in between the two…so yeah, traditional. Any competition that includes getting together with a group of great friends, making an ass out of yourself, and drinking to win a medal…count me in! We even had a pregnant friend to drive us around this year, God we’re getting responsible! Or does that make us irresponsible…I swear it was a planned pregnancy!

The festivities began at Rhombus House of Pizza…or whatever it’s called, that sounds catchy though and I’m pretty sure my memory of the night starts to get pretty fuzzy at this point… We had some delicious pizza and also got our Pub Crawl Mugs and official cards, which we had to get stamped at every bar (8 maybe?!) in order to earn our medals at the end of the night. The first time we did this pub crawl we ended up giving our leftover pizza to some skater punks in the parking lot because we didn’t want to carry it all night, but being responsible adults now (two years older, and now officially in our twilight years – not the fantastic vampire series, puke, but the downward spiral into death years) we brought the pizza back to the car because we knew that after completing our crawl we would undoubtedly need some food in our stomachs…we’re all going to make such great parents!

So, back to being responsible…the next bar was in the basement of the local strip club. Soooooo classy!!! We were greeted by one of the other patrons who thought we were up at the door redeeming a certificate for free porn, which apparently she was up there to do…got to love new experiences! We crawled down into the dungeon of a bar (also, I’m pretty sure I was there for a buddy’s bachelor party before and it use to be part of the upstairs club…not the case anymore) and instead of having our one casual beer and onto the next bar, we decided to stay for a few drinks, and as it turns out, if you order certain shots you get to spin a wheel for free prizes…including free porn! We tried and tried and tried but the most we could pull out of there were a few ping pong balls, some Frisbees, and a $25 bar tab…which just got spent right away again. The final thing we were able to pull out of there were our drunk butts…that’s two out X(maybe 8) bars and we were all feeling no pain, except our one friend, but that was mostly related to pregnancy.

On our walk to the next bar we decided that playing Frisbee was the most logical thing to do in downtown Fargo so we went ahead and did that until our Frisbee ended up on top of one of the buildings. Feeling adventurous I decided to go ahead and climb the building with the assistance of a couple of my buddies, it took some effort but once I finally got to the top I felt like I was on top of the world…then my buddy Cam scaled the drain spout on his own and was standing next to me, that’s the same guy I defended in the cities and ended up getting maced for…so, I threw him off the building. I told him to aim for the bushes, and it worked about as well as it did for The Rock and Sam Jack in The Other Guys… actually, we just got the Frisbee and jumped down, but yeah, we still got it.

This is where I really start to forget the day…I know that at some point we got yelled at for hitting a window of a tattoo parlor with our Frisbee…can you imagine. The guy came out and he was all like, “god damned kids! Get off our yard!” and he was covered in tattoos and we were all at least 30…yep, you’re only as old as you feel.

We then met up with some of the craziest guys I’ve ever known, so we did shots of tequila, because life’s too short to drink good booze. I’m pretty sure this was done at the old VFW, which was one of the stops on a famous bar tour my friend Dan and I had taken in college where we spent the night cutting in on older couples dancing, apparently old veterans aren’t too cool with that as we were asked to leave shortly after our third or fourth dance. But we got the last laugh as the Pirates apparently took over the building…I believe it was called the Parrot’s something or other?! Wow, writing this is really bringing back why I try not to do too many pub-crawls!

I believe it was the next bar, as it was above ground that we were able to partake in a drink holding contest…

I believe Darren won as apparently I was cheating having my elbow bent and Kyle ended up spitting his beer everywhere. I didn’t know this picture existed until I was looking through my phone the next day…stay tuned and you’ll see a video I had no idea we even took!

The guy running the contest was pretty cool, he let us keep those sweet hats and gave us some key chains as well! I love Oktoberfest…and whatever bar that was…seriously, does it look familiar to anyone?!

At this point in the night I draw a blank…for quite a while. Next thing I remember I was wearing a medal and tearing up the dance floor at the O.B. There weren’t too many people out on the floor with us but we were sure having one heck of a good time. We might have made a bit of a mess out there as it was later told to us that I would go dancing up to a group of women and proceed to fall directly on my face, and Kyle was busy making it rain on the dance floor with bowls of popcorn. Why didn’t we get kicked out, you may ask?! For some odd reason the bouncer seemed to really enjoy our group, he even bought us shots…which apparently it looked like we needed! It may also have had something to do with the fact that it was all of like 9:30pm…at some point I was no longer wearing my medal, which was disappointing and I was pretty sure that I gave it to Kyle’s brother, I also couldn’t find my sweet hat so it was shaping up to be a pretty sad ending to the night. At 10:30 our baby mama (sober cab) was thinking that she might just head back to the hotel for a bit and come get us when we were ready, but Kyle and I walked her to the car anyway…then got in…then went to Drunken Noodle (remember that pizza we kept being responsible earlier?!), then…I think I passed out in the car.

Before the night began, my buddy Dan was texting me videos of his daughters, the first one was of his youngest (as of now!). He asked if Jay and Kyle should go out drinking, and it was just about 10 seconds of her shaking her head no…the second was him asking his oldest (that Faith knows about) what will happen if Kyle goes out with Jay, and her response was, “He’ll fall down!” In the morning I was able to find my medal…in my pocket (I’m an idiot-the parenthesis means its not obvious…), my hat was in Kyle’s car and this video was on my phone:

 

 So, I guess the life lessons learned over the weekend…are probably numerous. But, I guess that sometimes we just need to let loose, hit the town with some great buddies and win some championships. Also, there is no such thing as “free porn.” Now I have to go mow some more lawns as my dad is making me pay for the tattoo parlor window out of my allowance…why the heck am I shaking my finger in that video?!